How do I kill my love for someone? (Full Version)

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MasterK13 -> How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 9:26:59 PM)

Yes I know the title is sick but a while ago I started chatting with this girl online and she learned things about me started asking questions about me and being the naieve fool I was at the time I started to fall for her I eventually realized she was hypocritical and a narcicisst but no matter how many times I try to stay away I cant do it for long (BELIEVE ME SHE'S A MANIPULATIVE BITCH) she swore to me that she "NEVER LIED" and yet I found evidence to the contrary. How can I kill my attraction to her?


I am going to break off contact with her.



Hierodule -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 9:30:19 PM)

Time dude, thats the only way. Block her ass. And try to talk to someone worth your time. Other than that there isn't much you can do.



MasterK13 -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 9:35:57 PM)

Thank you for the advice Hierodule.



Llyren -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 9:39:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

Time dude, thats the only way. Block her ass. And try to talk to someone worth your time. Other than that there isn't much you can do.


Exactly.  Especially the latter.  You'll never heal or get over her if you keep letting her pour poison into your ears and heart.  Let her go, and make it final.



winterlight -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 9:43:18 PM)

Get busy with something.

Go volunteer, surround yourself with people that are worthy..



CalifChick -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 10:01:18 PM)

To borrow a title from a book... it's called a breakup because it's broken.

Every time you feel the pull of attraction, remind yourself of a cold hard truth about her.  No excuses.  She didn't return your calls?  Instead of telling yourself she was busy, tell yourself she just didn't care.  She lied to you about her marital status?  Instead of telling yourself she was just exhibiting wishful thinking, admit that she was trying to manipulate you.

Cold hard truths usually quash the fantasies in the head.

Cali



Kirata -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 10:02:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK13

Yes I know the title is sick but a while ago I started chatting with this girl online and she learned things about me started asking questions about me and being the naieve fool I was at the time I started to fall for her I eventually realized she was hypocritical and a narcicisst but no matter how many times I try to stay away I cant do it for long (BELIEVE ME SHE'S A MANIPULATIVE BITCH) she swore to me that she "NEVER LIED" and yet I found evidence to the contrary. How can I kill my attraction to her?

The love that has stirred in you is a meaningful and wonderful thing. Don't confuse it with her. It isn't her. It's you. And don't confuse it with the unfortunate circumstances, either. Those are other matters. Keep your love, and the girl that you love, in your heart. Just accept that this one wasn't her.

K.




Wolf2Bear -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 10:06:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK13

Yes I know the title is sick but a while ago I started chatting with this girl online and she learned things about me started asking questions about me and being the naieve fool I was at the time I started to fall for her I eventually realized she was hypocritical and a narcicisst but no matter how many times I try to stay away I cant do it for long (BELIEVE ME SHE'S A MANIPULATIVE BITCH) she swore to me that she "NEVER LIED" and yet I found evidence to the contrary. How can I kill my attraction to her?


Time.



MasterK13 -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 10:11:28 PM)

I see your point Kirata thank you.



MasterK13 -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 10:36:02 PM)

Thank you Cali I will definitly take your advice.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

To borrow a title from a book... it's called a breakup because it's broken.

Every time you feel the pull of attraction, remind yourself of a cold hard truth about her.  No excuses.  She didn't return your calls?  Instead of telling yourself she was busy, tell yourself she just didn't care.  She lied to you about her marital status?  Instead of telling yourself she was just exhibiting wishful thinking, admit that she was trying to manipulate you.

Cold hard truths usually quash the fantasies in the head.

Cali





LadyChallene -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 11:00:00 PM)

Time and distance help some. In the end, the best thing that has worked for me it to turn my attentions elsewhere.
 But, if you keep going back to her, then you might want to try and understand why you keep doing it. You know what she is like. You know what games she plays. So somewhere in you is a desire to used in this fashion ... if not by her then another of her ilk.



Vendaval -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/22/2009 11:35:01 PM)

Do a cost/benefit analysis side by side.  Write out the what you are getting from the current relationship and what you actually want to have in a relationship.

And the tough questions to ask yourself -

#1 Why am I attracted to this kind of person?
#2 Is this a repeated pattern for me?
#3 How do I keep from repeating this mistake?



Level -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:20:19 AM)

Once a turd, always a turd. If she's what you say she is, then she'll ALWAYS be like that, and who wants to end up with someone not worth a shit?



Aileen1968 -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:22:24 AM)

You should kill her. Problem solved.



Llyren -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:27:22 AM)

The problem with that Aileen, is you have to dispose of the body, and then there are the awkward questions, especially if you did it on payperview webcam.   And he seems like the sensitive type, so he might get all wangsty about it.  I think he just needs to get laid.  That will distract him completely.



Level -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:28:33 AM)

Depending on his kink, he could kill two birds with one stone...



Aileen1968 -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:29:24 AM)

Heh. Yeah, getting laid might be the better of the two options.
OP....go get laid. Your brain is too backed up. Clear it out.



LadyPact -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:41:38 AM)

LOL.  I wouldn't go that far, Aileen.

OP, I don't mean to sound condescending, but you are 18 years old.  Supposedly, you fell in love with someone that you never met.  From what I've read, this was the first person you found that you thought was going to take that wonderful walk with you through the doors of BDSM.

Let Me tell you that I've been that person for a few that I've encountered in My life.  I've been the person who took someone to sub space for the first time.  I've been that first love.  I've been that first person with whom someone has shared the joys of sex.  I've been the one who opened up a whole new world from someone else's perspective.

While those things have made Me an important part of someone's history, they didn't necessarily equate love.  In My opinion, love is something more.  There is going to come a day when you look back on this experience and realize it for what it is. 



KateyCaine -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:43:50 AM)

All clinical theories to one side now..........


There is no such thing as" Killing your love for someone".


You are human.

You can't turn love on and off like a tap, as much as we would like to on occasion - it doesn't work that way. It is involuntary, out of your control.

Trust me, attempting to shut off love and affection for someone is akin to attempting to persuade the rain not to fall.

What you feel is what you feel. You need to deal with that, instead of trying to rewire your emotions.


k.



LaTigresse -> RE: How do I kill my love for someone? (11/23/2009 3:55:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK13

Yes I know the title is sick but a while ago I started chatting with this girl online and she learned things about me started asking questions about me and being the naieve fool I was at the time I started to fall for her I eventually realized she was hypocritical and a narcicisst but no matter how many times I try to stay away I cant do it for long (BELIEVE ME SHE'S A MANIPULATIVE BITCH) she swore to me that she "NEVER LIED" and yet I found evidence to the contrary. How can I kill my attraction to her?


I am going to break off contact with her.



I would look at the whole thing as a learning experience. First off..........yeah!!! You have the capacity to love deeply! Do you realize how wonderful that is? There are people in this world, and this girl may be one of them, that cannot even love themselves, let alone another person.

Two, look at the whole thing objectively without emotion, as though it was a friend of yours that went through it and told you everything about it. What were the warning signs this girl was a problem? There were there, I promise, you simply failed to see them. Observe and learn.

Here is a hard one, do not allow her the power to destroy that special part of you. The person you thought she was, touched you. There will be a day when you will meet someone worthy of that special part, don't wall it up just because this girl was a putz. Keep reminding yourself that it is HER loss, not yours. You offered her YOUR LOVE and she is the one that refused it, didn't see it for how special it is.

Here is the hardest one, get rid of the anger and bitterness towards her. It does nothing for you to hang onto it. See her for the person she is and know that ultimately, unless she changes, she will suffer more for her mistakes than you ever did. You are going to move on and find someone wonderful. She, if she continues, never will. She will create her own punishments, there is no reason for you to dwell on them.

Use all of this as a learning experience and look for the nuggets of gold that you can take with you to make your future relationship/s even better. They are there, I promise.



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