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S/m Question - 3/12/2006 6:25:13 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		It just dawned on me, after a long thought process that i could actually ask the question here.. as i'm SURE others must have dealt with the same condrum. i was thinking about earlier today, Master sat on me, all 230 lbs weighted down on me so he could effeciently paddle my rear. Something came up and he didnt. Now i was thinking, well that should hold me still! But i just know, that if gave a good effecient wack, i'd lift him up off of me. iy felt like it was a struggle to breathe (tho it wasnt really, i was breathing fine) and i couldnt move, but darn it, if he came down with that paddle i KNOW, by sheer whatever i'd lift him up off of me and turn my body so he couldnt reach my rear. i've done it before in the past. We look for efficient ways to make it impossible for me to squirm away and we've worked on trying to get me to mentally control it. The only way that it becomes possible (because no matter how tight bonds or chains or whatever, i ALWAYS find away to twist out the way) is to just bear down on myself. Like literally grip something. i was thinking, maybe if i had like a pillow or even as dumb as it sounds a teddy to squeeze onto i could tense enough where i wouldnt jump. There are times that he allows me to hold onto him and it makes it easier, but he doesnt always want to have to do that. so i'm thinking.... there's got to be SOME way! What can i do?

i think its also that i have a very bad startle reaction. Master gets a kick out of it at times and does things deliberately to provoke it. We've played the startle game and i get sick of jumping and i'm like okay.. "i'm NOT jumping anymore!!!" and then he moves too quickly like he's going to bite me and my whole body jumps. It used to upset him, but i think over time he's realised its not actually a conscious thought of mine. i tend to jump, move and block all at the same and and thankfully he understands its not willful disobediance on my part. Which is good as i've elbowed him in the face a few times. LOL Fortunetly when he paddles me now (with out bonds), he understands and steps back, watches me jump, regain myself and get back in position.

its not that i dislike being paddled or am opposed to it. As its quite clear i do like it. i just tend to find it abit startling! There has GOT to be another way to sit still OTHER then tensing every muscle in my body. Oh and it has nothing to do with relaxation. i cant just "relax" as even completely relaxed, i startle easy.

any suggestions or stories on how others have managed to sit completely still while canes, whips, paddles, ect were used?

P.S. and please dont suggest some sort of bonds. Hand cuffs bite into my nerves, leather cuffs break, and rope no matter how tight you make it.. i can find some sort of give. i jump, and no matter what contraption i'm in, i'm still gonna jump. lol Suppose i'm asking for mentally.. what do you do?'

Thanks

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/12/2006 6:32:37 PM >
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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 7:07:43 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		i jump around too or end up on all fours crawling around the floor. Master hardly ever restrains me so He must like the reaction.

Regarding not moving: I know it helps me when I concentrate on his voice and directions when He tells me not to move. So his command supercedes my bodies natural response of wanting to jump around. It also helps if I'm built up slowly.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 7:14:10 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Training and focus can learn to pretty much control all reactions in time. We all still have a breaking limit and of course the more preparation you are given, the better focus and reaction you will have.

Start with focused breathing.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 7:16:09 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

any suggestions or stories on how others have managed to sit completely still while canes, whips, paddles, ect were used?


I was told simply not to move at all. It was quite sufficient.

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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 7:19:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		i get a firim "STAY STILL" when i squirm around too much. Doesn't make it easy though. i have to remember to breathe before i can focus on it! So, i stay still but similar to RiotGirl, i am quite tense.

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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 8:01:06 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

i get a firim "STAY STILL" when i squirm around too much. Doesn't make it easy though. i have to remember to breathe before i can focus on it! So, i stay still but similar to RiotGirl, i am quite tense.


I remember once...I was told to lay on the floor and not move...laid there for 30 minutes before he got the cane out...even after he started using it, I knew not to move. Huge difference between pleasurable pain and pain because you did something that you were told not to do. All it took was once with me, after that...if I was told to not move...I DID NOT MOVE at all.


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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 8:05:19 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Huge difference between pleasurable pain and pain because you did something that you were told not to do.


Oh i hear you. i don't think he minds some movement. After all, he likes to mimick me squirming and taunt me about it afterwards, lol.

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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 8:16:17 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I understand the urge to move or jump when startled, I have an absolute hair trigger when it comes to startle response and it takes me a while to regain my composure.

I have a boy that squirms unbelievably when being paddled. He's trying to move away from it as it's coming. We tried lots of things to help him stand still, nothing really worked for a long time. There's this one thing that he's terrified of, he would do anything to keep from getting this one thing. I told him that if he moves away from me when being paddled, he would get this. It worked the first time. So the second time, I put something that symbolizes this thing in full view of him during the pain play session. It worked again. Now, he just knows not to do it, or...

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Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: S/m Question - 3/12/2006 9:01:27 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Thanks for the input. i'll try the focused breathing. Its not the "squirming" i do. That he doesnt mind as long as i am squirming in range of the paddle, cane, ect. Its the jump. i go from bent over to standing looking at him in seconds.. or something of the sort. He's tried all sorts of things. He's tried smacking harder after i jump (i just jump more) i've been punished in the past pretty good for it. Hooded.. (hate that) tied spread eagle.. gagged.. and caned for aaah ages. Even playfully when i truely do not want to startle.. cos well Master has gotten me to startle about 15 times in 5 minutes.. its more then an effort NOT to startle. Master LOVES to bite and all he has to do is move quickly towards me like he's going to bite and i jump. LOL he used to get a kick out of the fact that i when i jumped i'd literally jump into his mouth.

Commanded, punished.. bonded.. ect. Arg. i dun want to say i cant not startle, because i know i can i just have to figure it out. So far my only way is to tense every musle in my body and brace. Obviously, he understands that its not something i'm in control of and when he doesnt want to deal with it, he devises some way to control it. But i'd really like to figure it out.

And ARG! to all those who it was so simple for <sticks out tongue> and thanks to all those who had a suggestion. i'll try focusing on something i would hate to happen and focus on my breathing. i'll try both.

LOL MissTress.. so you understand the hair trigger thing. <sigh> its not even a thought process. Not only do i jump, i block, i move and well i've thrown Master off me a couple of times.

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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 7:07:16 AM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		I know more about not moving from a standing position. I grip onto something with what I've recognized as my "death grip" that I use when driving down I95. It is almost like holding myself in place, and it could be anything, metal bar, bedsheets, cellphone. The determination not to move also helps.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 8:27:07 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		LOL @ deathgrip. Once i was leaned over the arm of a couch to receive a belting. When he was done, my arms were clutched so tightly around the couch cushion...when i slid to the floor, the cushion came with me.

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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 8:44:55 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Being a victim of a bad robbery. (I was beaten around my head and face with a cement brick) I startle pretty damn fast. For years if one came up behind me not talking.. and then just spoke... BAM.. I would spin and nail them. If I turned around and someone was there that I knew not to be there.. Knee came up... screams came out.. both of ours... LOL

I miss the days sometimes of being startled.. but I tell people now... if you do not want to get hurt.. do not startle me from behind. Master knows... as long as he talks to me when he begins... he safe.. and as long I know he's there... he's safe. And he can do what he wants.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 9:56:21 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		I usually have one simple method of dealing with this: I ensure my slave that if she does not stay still, it will only get more painful. After a Technicolor demonstration of that, I generally have no further problems.

That said, struggle isn't much of a concern for me, unless I make it so for any particular reason. The slave will be naked and short-leashed by the neck to the foot of a wrought iron bed; she is human and made of deliciously tender, malleable skin all over, laced with nerves at every point. The whip or belt needn't fall on one particular part. No matter how she turns or covers herself, she is vulnerable to me.






< Message edited by amayos -- 3/13/2006 9:57:32 AM >

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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 2:01:00 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
any suggestions or stories on how others have managed to sit completely still while canes, whips, paddles, ect were used?


RiotGirl,

I don't have any suggestions for you on staying still. I rarely stay still and that is half the fun of our play. I fight back often; he loves it and encourages it. If he doesn't like a reaction, he will control it. All I am supposed to do is just let go, feel and react. No thinking, no control, just pure primal reaction. It leads to quite a few interesting scenes between the two of us. *grins* my elbow to the face was intentional. Maybe instead of trying to force yourself to behave in a way that contradicts your nature, incorporate it into your play. Since you said he gets a kick out of it, make it part of the play rather than a negative aspect of play.

For us, play is about fun and if I am so busy trying to stop myself from acting naturally, then I am not going to have all that much fun and neither will he.

Just a different perspective for you to consider.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 5:09:13 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

The whip or belt needn't fall on one particular part. No matter how she turns or covers herself, she is vulnerable to me.


i swear you two take notes.

Difference is i am not always tied; i can squirm, but trying to cover or move away have been "discouraged."

(in reply to amayos)
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RE: S/m Question - 3/13/2006 7:23:39 PM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline 		I am told not to move, especially when He uses the cane on my innertighs, sometimes it work and sometimes it doesnt, so this means more will come.

I do try to focus on His voice.

ropsubby

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RE: S/m Question - 3/19/2006 10:06:20 AM   
Angeni


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I am not very much into the receiving of pain on any level, so at times like that, I tend to move quite a bit. In the past, flinching away was something that I could not control, and tended to bring about the inevitable " hold still " . If I was bound in any way, the urge to move was intensified, and was something that we were never able to work past. Eventually, I learned, through time, that the more I moved, the more pain I was going to receive. It eventually worked at keeping me still.

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