RE: Layers of Surrender

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/13/2009 7:37:27 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

Was your process of surrendering gradual? Or did it happen instantly?

It was instant. The moment I saw him outside the coffee shop, even before I knew who he was, I knew I wanted to surrender to him.

quote:

Did you ever think you were completely owned and had given yourself to someone completely only to feel it suddenly go deeper?

For me I felt owned pretty quickly. I'd say within days/weeks. I felt completely owned probably by a few months later as I got to know him even more and realized just how much I adored him. Everyday it goes deeper for me.

quote:

When did you get to the point when you knew it was complete? Or is it a constant process?

I think it's both for me. My surrender to him is complete. Whatever he wants I give. I give myself fully to him but yet I feel as if my submission to him gets deeper everyday. I want to give more and more of myself to him.

(in reply to Hierodule)

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/13/2009 10:06:44 PM

lucylucy

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Earlier in the week, I emailed my boyfriend this: “I am absolutely yours. I mean it with everything in me every time I say that, but somehow, every time I say it I mean it more than the last time I said it.” The surrender was instant for me, but it gets deeper and deeper every day, just as yours does, Hierodule.

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/14/2009 4:52:47 AM

Roselaure

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Wow, lovingpet, that was beautiful. Verbal expression of my feelings is something I have a problem with, but you clearly have a real talent for it. Thank you for that post!

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/14/2009 4:57:46 AM

lovingpet

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/14/2009 5:01:51 AM

kyraofMists

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I do not particularly care for the connotation of the word surrender. For me, it expresses the giving of something that I had no desire to give and that if I thought I could get away with it I wouldn't give it. It is the connotation of surrendering in battle, so I don't use that term in my relationship.

As far as becoming his, it was instantaneous, but it was a decision that was made by both of us after months of getting to know each other. In the moment that I asked to become his and he accepted me as his, he has complete authority over every aspect of my life. That did not mean that he started exercising his will in all aspects of my life at that moment, but he had the authority to pick and choose what, where, when, and how I was going to do his will.

Four and a half years later, there is no part of my life that has not been shaped or changed because of his will. As I change and grow as a person, his authority will extend to those new aspects of who I am. It is never-ending because we never stop growing and changing; it was instantaneous because in that moment it was his will to decide what comes next.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/14/2009 5:55:35 PM

MaamJay

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I add My applause for lovingpet's post. WOW!

In my sub side, i submitted about 75% of myself pretty much from the get go to Master. Over time, i have felt the need to submit some other aspects of my life ... My activities as Jay, financial control and the last big one was musical control (I have led every musical group I've been involved with in all these years ... so that was a biggie for me to let go!). Each of these last steps has been accompanied by a very real feeling similar to Hierodule's ... so i get what you mean! It's awesome, it truly is. Happy for you that you've felt it and hope that it is never misplaced.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/14/2009 10:00:02 PM

sexslavemina

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that sounds so beautiful... i've only surrendered to 1 person and i don't even know how to describe it and it was a rather strange experience altogether...

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/15/2009 4:39:26 PM

blmtrsne

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My slave told me he had slave feelings all his life but only recognized it when he came in contact with info on the internet. Concerning girls for instance he always had the thought "please can I be your property", instead of the usual " I wanna make you mine, love me". He always went all the way. But that does not mean you can't serve better: getting to know your Dom makes you able to anticipate needs, to know how to pleasure.

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/15/2009 8:33:38 PM

PainfullyCurious

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So here I was worrying about whether or not I would be able to submit to someone, to satisfy them, because I thought I might be too shy for the kinky stuff. After reading this thread, that seems like the easy part!

I thought I had a fair amount of experience with love, and LTRs. It seems though that I have been finding ways to side-step trust because I've never experienced anything like what's described here.

You're all very lucky, and very brave.

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/15/2009 8:53:21 PM

lucylucy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

So here I was worrying about whether or not I would be able to submit to someone, to satisfy them, because I thought I might be too shy for the kinky stuff. After reading this thread, that seems like the easy part!

I thought I had a fair amount of experience with love, and LTRs. It seems though that I have been finding ways to side-step trust because I've never experienced anything like what's described here.

You're all very lucky, and very brave.

I do feel very lucky, both to have met someone I trust enough to surrender to AND to have the confidence to trust him. I have found that it does take courage to surrender because each step of the way, you risk being hurt more if things don't work out (whatever your personal definition of "work out"is).

PainfullyCurious, I don't think the trust bit can be sidestepped. It's absolutely the backbone of a healthy relationship--whether vanilla or D/s. In my relationship, for instance, we do breathplay--I have to trust him.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/15/2009 9:24:06 PM

PainfullyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
PainfullyCurious, I don't think the trust bit can be sidestepped. It's absolutely the backbone of a healthy relationship--whether vanilla or D/s. In my relationship, for instance, we do breath--I have to trust him.

Frankly I never noticed that it was missing. I always trusted the men I was with in the sense that I didn't think they'd cheat on me, or tell blatant lies. Wanting to be so close that I feel comfortable and safe telling them most of my thoughts- Or with something like breath- just never occurred to me as being something that anyone would want. I've assumed men like to have personal space and do not want to be burdened with all the details that go through my mind, or with the pressure that something like breath would put on them.

The idea that there are men out there that would want more- That wouldn't accept anything less- It's very new to me...

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RE: Layers of Surrender - 11/15/2009 9:58:09 PM

HisPhedre

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It's interesting this topic is here today...and I agree with the many others here, lovingpet wrote a very beautiful explanation of surrender and trust as she sees it and feels it.

My Lord placed me in an interesting situation today...he decided to "surprise" (by that I mean we had talked about it happening, but the timing was his) me with pushing a boundary. He asked me if I trusted him and I told him yes, but what struck me was the feeling of absolute peace and knowing that I was safe in his arms and knowing that if the surprise came off badly he was prepared to walk and work me through being whole again and preserving the trust that I have in him. I felt that surrender go deeper than I thought possible...and when it was over, I had the feeling that all was and is very right in my world.

So I would agree that there are layers of surrender and the level I had when I met him was very simplistic and easy vs the surrender I experienced this weekend.

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