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question - 11/10/2009 10:21:27 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah

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RE: question - 11/10/2009 10:39:56 PM   
timmaygirl


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/4/2009
Status: offline 		I do not believe in perfection. Our flaws are what gives us character. Now i am not saying that we should just accept that we are flawed and move on. We should always try to improve but i do not think you should be too hard on yourself for not being perfect. Noone is. 

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RE: question - 11/10/2009 11:09:28 PM   
kasumi


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/11/2009
Status: offline 		It is only possible to be yourself and try your best. Anyone that expects and demands perfection is not worthy of having you. 

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RE: question - 11/10/2009 11:14:30 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		First: realize that "perfection" is a completely subjective concept. In essence, it's obvious that if you have an ideal you wish to aspire to, you should work towards that.

I am not at all fond of the "we are the sum of our mistakes" bit, but rather: We are the sum of our mistakes subtracted from what we could have been without them.

This doesn't mean that mistakes won't happen or that you can't learn from them, just that you don't need to turn them into pretty, karmic shoulder-angels in order to move on. Part of the purpose of mistakes is so that there is a certain bit of haunting they do, keeping you ever more attentive to avoiding them in the future.


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 12:05:19 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah


honey.. you are (to the best of my knowledge) human.

You are GOING to err.  Learn, accept, move on.  *hug*


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 1:02:35 AM   
sirsholly


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 2:22:08 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah

Accept the fact you are human and you will make mistakes, learn from your mistakes and move on

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 4:20:33 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		It's not possible to be flawless and not screw up...we all do. What you do after a screw up is the measure of character. I always find it commendable to see someone man up and take the blame for their mess up, try to fix it if they can, and then move on.

If it's something within your power to change work on identifying what you can do to change things and then do it. That'll give you some peace of mind as well.

Some of the coolest, most worthy people to know are like that because they take the time to be responsible for themselves and use opportunities like screwing up to learn what to do next time

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 4:59:03 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
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Status: offline 		If you're a Christian, then you believe that Jesus was the only human to have no flaws.

If you're not a Christian, then you believe that no unflawed human ever walked the earth.

Either way, it ain't you.


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 5:02:26 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
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From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah


You declare that you make mistakes because you are forgetful and that your are clumsy.  Are you always clumsy?  Do you forget things all the time?  Or have you recently tripped on the rug or lost track of time?  To declare oneself clumsy is a cop out in my opinion.  We all trip over our own feet from time to time.  That doesn't make us flawed or even clumsy.  Each and every one of us has forgotten something.  That doesn't make us forgetful.

It is always in our best interests to do our best at anything worth doing.  It is never in our best interest to find convenient labels in order to play the blame game, even when blaming ourselves.  If you are tripping over the rug, consider replacing the rug.  I don't see either option of trying to be flawless or accepting a convenient label be the only options available. 

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 6:47:15 AM   
Dstryeroflimits


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline 		Everyone makes mistakes. The question I would ask, do you learn from your mistakes or do you make the same ones over and over again. 

Dstryer

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 8:44:59 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am curious. Is your primary partner flawless?
This is a serious question because in various threads I have seen many sub types "oooo and ahhh" over the supposed perfection of their mate. People are people in my view, and they do make mistakes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 8:46:29 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't see any human being as flawless.

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 9:31:08 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		it may be that you are just over eaer and excitabe that causes you to be forgetfull and a bit clumsy. im adhd and without my meds i am very distractable and a bit more clumsy than otherwise. dont beat yourself up over minor things just do your best and be happy with it.

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 9:39:59 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah

No, its not possible (but seriously??? you didn't already know the answer to this????? How do you get to be 21 and not know this???)


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 10:12:27 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I've been known to trip over the bare floor. The rug would at least be reasonable. Some of us are less than graceful.

Now if this really annoys you and you want to put time in to change it, I would suggest an exercise program that encorporates ballet type movements to teach grace.

Forgetful to the extreme? Get tested and see if you do have ADHD. Otherwise learn the value of lists, either use a blackberry or a day planner and a calendar and check what is scheduled.

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 10:15:48 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Nothing wrong with striving for perfection, as long as you realize you'll never achieve it.

Strive for it, and you may go further than you thought you might - but beating yourself up over falling short is a waste of time - learn from you mistakes; people who don't make mistakes or pretend they don't, never learn anything.

Perfection is stasis, and it's a dynamic universe.


< Message edited by xssve -- 11/11/2009 10:16:39 AM >

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RE: question - 11/11/2009 10:21:11 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah


IMO, we can -strive- for perfection, which is a noble journey... but if we're not to go insane, we must also accept that it is an unattainable goal, and be happy with our successes, recognizing that we will never be perfect.

One thing that helped me a lot was going through the process of having a book published. Now most people who have written books can tell you that the hardest part of writing a book is letting it go out there into the world of critics and editors... But I let mine go, and spent a lot of time distancing myself from the critiques that came back and really looking to see whether what was suggested would make the book better -- and more than 99% of the time, it did, so I went ahead and made the changes. Eventually, I was able to put this sense of perspective into the rest of my life, which helped me to figure out some really deep-seated stuff AND helped me to cherish my successes and stop beating myself up over those times when I was less than perfect.

Calla


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 10:28:49 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		No it's not possible to be flawless...but it's possible to learn from your mistakes.
However I have extremely hard time learning from mistakes when it comes to things  I don't give a rats ass about.


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RE: question - 11/11/2009 10:57:31 AM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it possible to be flawless and not screw up? i seem to make mistakes often because i'm either forgetful or clumsy and i end up (not literally) beating myself over it. should i continue to try being flawless or accept my faults and move on? i know it's a useless question but it's something i have trouble with...so yeah


Just do your best, because that is all you can do and as long as you know it really is your best you should be able to sleep at night.

Do not put responsibility for your lack of flawlessness on your 'faults'.  If they are things you can work on then do so.  If not, learn to live with them and accept that your best will not always be what you want it to be.

Beating yourself up over making mistakes is wasted energy.  Learn from them and then move right on.  Concentrate that energy instead on what you do well and feel pleased about that.  It will increase your confidence and you will find your best getting better.

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