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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 8:22:47 AM   
Icarys


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quote:

Well, we have to do something other than paint our nails all day you know...


So true..So true.


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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 8:31:10 AM   
Missokyst


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Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'm going to go with the guy on the other page that said it might have just been part of a hot scene. Unless he says otherwise while generally chatting and YOU agree to that, it is premature to assume he means more.

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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 8:57:48 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
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quote:

ORIGINAL: magdakitty3
How well should I know a dom before, he calls me his? (a dom that I am starting to play with, referred to a part of my body as his--I have met him a total of five times)
Doesn't that kind of depend on what, exactly, you mean by the word? For me, it is a literal statement of ownership and so could not reasonably happen any time early in a relationship. In a more casual or play sense, however, it could be used pretty much whenever the mood struck. Meaning is everything.


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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 6:09:04 PM   
magdakitty3


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you for your insightful reply--interesting to reverse the question from the dom's perspective of ownership. I agree with you in noting the other half of the equation. 

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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 6:18:43 PM   
daintydimples


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I'm going to go with the guy on the other page that said it might have just been part of a hot scene. Unless he says otherwise while generally chatting and YOU agree to that, it is premature to assume he means more.



I agree. Statements of this kind in the heat of the moment, so to speak, should be taken with a grain of salt. I personally would not even mention it. I'd be paying attention to other behavior.

In the early throes of any type of sexual relationship, there is a learning or exploratory phase. That one person does any one thing, doesn't mean in other specific thing, outside of context. Yes, it's an iffy period.

I suggest trying to go with that flow.




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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 7:17:56 PM   
Acer49


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quote:

ORIGINAL: magdakitty3

How well should I know a dom before, he calls me his? (a dom that I am starting to play with, referred to a part of my body as his--I have met him a total of five times)

Are there instances where you only belong to the dom in one scene, and once that is over, you return to your normal life and/or after that, you two are not connected?

Can a successful d/s relationship be kept at the same level as "casual sex"?

Any advice to anyone who is starting a new relationship with a dom?




How well should I know a dom before, he calls me his? (a dom that I am starting to play with, referred to a part of my body as his--I have met him a total of five times)

Do you have a ring on that finger, a collar around your neck or money in your hand? He can say anything he likes, does not make it true

Are there instances where you only belong to the dom in one scene, and once that is over, you return to your normal life and/or after that, you two are not connected?
Of course, see answer #1

Can a successful d/s relationship be kept at the same level as "casual sex"?
if both your needs are being met, yes.

Any advice to anyone who is starting a new relationship with a dom?
You always have a choice
Disregard statements that start off with " You are not submissive if you don't"
Most guys will do or say anything to get into your pants
Never meet somone at a hotel room
There are a lot of others, but am I sure you will hear from others



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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/10/2009 7:26:13 PM   
magdakitty3


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline 		good point. No, I would never meet someone at a hotel room and that thought makes me cringe.

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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/11/2009 8:03:24 AM   
MarcEsadrian


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Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

It's probably important to note that many Masters and Mistresses claim you loosely during a trial period of getting to know you; in essence saying you are being observed, and I expect your full attention to me during this time. This shouldn't be confused with the emotive and even spiritual ownership that takes place in a committed M/s relationship.


Its also important to note that the so called "masters and mistresses" and the gulible "s" types that allow this are confused really. Its USUALLY nothing more than a "keep em off the market" ploy until the "D" type makes up his mind about the "s" type.


So long as communication is open and all are on the same page, I see no inherent confusion in expecting temporary exclusivity while getting to know a prospective slave at all. It's pretty cynical to suggest that most who do this are either gullible or scheming. Certainly there are unscrupulous types who will simulate whatever reality it takes to bag their mark. It is fair, however, to underscore the fact that no "system" is safe, and we all should proceed at a pace and style we're comfortable with. This ultimately is a personal matter of caveat emptor.

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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/11/2009 8:28:25 AM   
GreedyTop


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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: magdakitty3

good point. No, I would never meet someone at a hotel room and that thought makes me cringe.

Personally, I think it a better idea to meet at a hotel than at someones home.


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RE: starting a new d/s relationship - 11/11/2009 8:44:54 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
Never meet somone at a hotel room


I am going to assume that what you are getting at is not to meet someone without others around, which isn't bad advice.
But lots of people go on to hotel rooms.  It can be far safer than someones bedroom.

the.dark.

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