SadistDave
Posts: 801
Joined: 3/11/2005
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If this is just for play, with NSA in mind, don't you think you're overthinking things a bit? Consider the possibilities. All of them. I'm a little pressed for time, so this is kind of a "Cliff Notes" version of what I'm thinking and bounces around a little. I really don't have much to go on except this thread and what scant information you have in your profile, but I would suggets the following. Talk to your Sir about this current situation. Work out your feelings with him, and clearly define what it is that you are both looking for. If you see no harm in his current fling on a sexual level as long as things are out in the open, then by all means let them continue it in the open, but if she is not providing any clear indication that she is what you are both seeking, then suggest to him that you continue the search using any and all means while he is spending time with her. That way, at the very least, you will have the opportunity to persue your own carnal interests while he is otherwise occupied even if you never manage to find that one special gal. If this girl isn't the one, then whats the problem? No strings attached should mean precisely that. This one doesn't seem to be working out as planned. Okay, I get that. However, you're in a poly relationship. It's important that you share your feelings on the matter with him though, because without taking that step first, you won't be able to move forward.
Perhaps you should just look at it from the other angle if your Sir is willing to consider the possibility. I would suggest you find someone to be your plaything who is open to the idea of a future threesome with him. Meanwhile, he can enjoy whatever benefits he gets from this other girl.
For that matter, if you are seriously wanting something with no strings, you might save yourself a lot of aggrivation in the long run by attending swingers events. Single women are generally welcome there, and many of them are looking for something with a couple. Hell, if this is your fantasy, you could show up alone at a swingers club and have a threesome with any number of likely couples. Yeah, it would be a little backward from what you're probably used to, but if you just want a hook-up, you seem to be investing a lot of time in something thats not very productive. I realize that you are in a poly relationship, and that there are certain ways that you look at things because of that, but maybe looking outside the proverbial box is in order here. Maybe you should just try the no-strings sex part before you start getting all wrapped up in which one of you is the new girls favorite. After you find the girl that is into you both on a sexual/kink level, then invite her into the poly aspect of your life.
Also consider this. As a woman, you have a multitude of options. Your chances of meeting someone for a strictly NSA encounter are better than you Sirs. One night in a lesbian bar will give you a higher percentage of meeting some cute little bi girl for some NSA than spending countless hours of aggrivation in this situation has given you. It seems to me that you have put all your eggs in this one little basket. As I see this, you are in one relationship, but he is in two. If the goal is to create a true poly relationship, you are going to have to play out all of the options until you find that perfect third. I looked at your profile, and it's pretty mild as far as BDSM play interests go. I think that you will find better success finding yourself a playmate that fits the bill if you find someone who is more into you than him. Since you're talking about a plaything, you should consider looking for someone who is more likely to be interested in playing with you than him.
Think it through. What you are essentually looking for is a woman that wants to have a relationship with you both, shares you both sexually and emotionally, is a willing to take an un-equal share in a three-way relationship relationship, remains "her own woman", and is willing to be dropped like a hot rock at a moments notice. These things go against the grain of most womens thinking, and certainly it will take more than one bad experience, or a single method to find a woman who finds this to be an ideal scenario. Such a woman is difficult to find...
The possibilities in life are only limited by what you are willing to do to acheive your goals. If you wind up in a situation that never includes a threesome, but end up with two subs running around the house serving you seperately, that may very well lead to activities that make a threesome seem unexciting and mundane.
-SD-
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Open and honest relationship with threesome - 
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