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Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:41:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Not sure the section to post this.   Anyhow- I am asking you for some coaching.  I plan to ask my friend to do me a favor.  She does not want to do it.

How do I proceed?

I would prefer not to say what it is I must ask her.  She is pretty much the only one who can help.    We been thru this before.  I tried to sweeten the pot as to what she gets in return- and now she is avoiding me.  However she might also be avoiding me as she tires of hearing my gloom and doom.

So- I thought- lets ask CM board- an informal charm school.

What are your thoughts?
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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:47:24 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		I would forget it and look for a way to handle the situation without her. She does not want to be involved and she is avoiding you. I really think you need to respect her enough to back off.

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:50:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

I would forget it and look for a way to handle the situation without her. She does not want to be involved and she is avoiding you. I really think you need to respect her enough to back off.


That is a fair assessment.  Thank you.

Other ideas, other comments?

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:52:02 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		end thread!

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:54:38 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Not sure the section to post this.   Anyhow- I am asking you for some coaching.  I plan to ask my friend to do me a favor.  She does not want to do it.

How do I proceed?

I would prefer not to say what it is I must ask her.  She is pretty much the only one who can help.    We been thru this before.  I tried to sweeten the pot as to what she gets in return- and now she is avoiding me.  However she might also be avoiding me as she tires of hearing my gloom and doom.

So- I thought- lets ask CM board- an informal charm school.

What are your thoughts?



Charm would be respecting her wishes.  Otherwise you are treating her as though she has some obligation to do what you want her to do.  That is sexist.  She was not put on this Earth to make your life easier. 

Pa, I like you.  I think that you are a nut, but I like you.  That being said, "NO MEANS NO!" 


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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:55:05 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

end thread!


No lets not end the tread.    I see no other way.   Nothing.    The question was brought up to brain storm.   So per haps a few others will comment.

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:58:13 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Not sure the section to post this.   Anyhow- I am asking you for some coaching.  I plan to ask my friend to do me a favor.  She does not want to do it.

How do I proceed?

I would prefer not to say what it is I must ask her.  She is pretty much the only one who can help.    We been thru this before.  I tried to sweeten the pot as to what she gets in return- and now she is avoiding me.  However she might also be avoiding me as she tires of hearing my gloom and doom.

So- I thought- lets ask CM board- an informal charm school.

What are your thoughts?



Charm would be respecting her wishes.  Otherwise you are treating her as though she has some obligation to do what you want her to do.  That is sexist.  She was not put on this Earth to make your life easier. 

Pa, I like you.  I think that you are a nut, but I like you.  That being said, "NO MEANS NO!" 




That is me.  A lovable nut.  :-)

Gosh- I had not thought of it as sexist.  More of a persuasion task.   Tho I suppose it could be viewed as sexist.  

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 6:58:31 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

end thread!


No lets not end the tread.    I see no other way.   Nothing.    The question was brought up to brain storm.   So per haps a few others will comment.



I made that comment because holly has already given you the best advice. Without knowing what it is you're asking of your friend, I wouldn't feel comfortable offering you advice about how to get it. It doesn't seem like you want charm school coaching, you want manipulation coaching.

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 7:01:23 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

end thread!


No lets not end the tread.    I see no other way.   Nothing.    The question was brought up to brain storm.   So per haps a few others will comment.



I made that comment because holly has already given you the best advice. Without knowing what it is you're asking of your friend, I wouldn't feel comfortable offering you advice about how to get it. It doesn't seem like you want charm school coaching, you want manipulation coaching.



I guess it is manipulation coaching.       Holly has some good advice to find another way.   That is something to rack my brain over.

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 7:06:32 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Is it about borrowing some mullah?

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 7:12:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Is it about borrowing some mullah?


No.

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 7:17:42 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Whatever she is apprehensive about doing assure her you're not asking her to do it...But ask her to help you figure another way. Who knows she may come up with a way or while discussing the possibilities and problems she may feel guilty in not helping you......and help.

Butch

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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 7:50:42 AM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
I would prefer not to say what it is I must ask her. She is pretty much the only one who can help. We been thru this before. I tried to sweeten the pot as to what she gets in return- and now she is avoiding me.


Would need more information for example the approach for requesting blowjobs is distinct from that for requesting help with tax returns. Although people tell me blackmail can work in both of those cases so shouldn't be ruled out at this early stage.


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RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 7:54:38 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Tit for tat usually works. Maybe if you offer her something that fills her with glee and hapiness in exchage for the dreary thing you want for her. No one wants to work and not get paid. Whats in it for her?

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Coach me charm school here- advice - 11/6/2009 12:44:38 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Try honesty. "I'm sorry to bother you, I know you haven't enjoyed dealing with my gloom of late. I need a favor. I have this problem and I don't know how to deal with it. Since I know you're knowledgable about it, I am hoping you will give me some advice on how to proceed." Explain problem, write down what she tells you to do, and go do it. It is your problem to solve, not hers. Asking her for advice is fine, expecting her to solve it for you is not.

And if she says it's beyond her to deal with, thank her anyway for listening and go to a professional

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