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Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:08:12 PM   
ghitaPVH


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Does anyone else feel totally annoyed by turning on yahoo instant messenger? Every time I start chatting with someone on here, they immediately want to chat on yahoo IM instead. But every single time I turn on yahoo IM, I immediatly get swamped by 10 to 15 pop up IMs from who knows who deciding to start a conversation with me. And if I ignore them, they start whining, and if I chat, my entire day or whatever it was I needed to actually DO on the internet gets inturupted and possibly not ever finished. And I cant concentrate on each conversation because of multiple people trying to talk to me at once. Yahoo IM feels like SUCH an intrusion into my life. I honestly hate it. Id rather chat in a regular email format, where I can CHOOSE when and how to respond when I have the ability to take the time to formulate my answers and devote my full attention to the conversation.....and yet....everyone else in the world apparently has the opposite opinion. Why do people enjoy yahoo IM so much? Ugh.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:20:08 PM   
CaringandReal


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Why don't you set yourself to permanently invisible to everyone? then when you log on nobody knows you're on. That's how I and most people I know who use messengers handle crowd control. After you are invisible to all, you can always right click a name, select stealth settings, and make yourself visible to them.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:22:23 PM   
NormalOutside


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Half of all conversations I get into on CM end with the other person saying "let's move this to Yahoo". I deleted that program 6 years ago and won't be back.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:24:21 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

Half of all conversations I get into on CM end with the other person saying "let's move this to Yahoo". I deleted that program 6 years ago and won't be back.


Same here. Yahoo IM will never again be installed on any computer I own, ever, period. I don't even like e-mail, and I hate "chat" programs, especially that one.


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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:25:47 PM   
kttqnp


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That's why I stopped giving out my Yahell ID, and have it set to sign on as "Invisible".

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:28:52 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


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i often sign onto YM as invisible to everyone, then right click on the names of the people i want to talk to, select "stealth settings" then "appear online to (whatever the name is.)

It's not necessary to do that last step, however, if you want to initiate the conversation.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 5:31:28 PM   
aphotic


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It has a block function on the privacy list, eh? I never care one way or not if it's on messenger or through Cmail--I do love it when the letters glow red "New Mail" (who doesn't)--but it is easier sometimes when you're just going back and forth to use a messenger.

I'd leave it up to the dominant personality to decide, but if you're getting swamped by people you aren't that interested in, then block 'em. It's not like they're in your house and you have to use rat poison and anathemas to get rid of them.

I do know that if I see in a profile where it says, "I do not use messenger programs," that I wouldn't ever even suggest that route. Maybe add that?

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 6:01:31 PM   
littlewonder


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I have yahoo messenger but the only people who ever msg me on it are my best friends in real life and my family and the occasional stray bdsm person who saw my profile somewhere but other than that, I rarely ever get a pm. I'm shocked when I do and I'm not set to invisible or anything.

If it's a problem for you though maybe set it to invisible or change your name so it doesn't match that the names you have on bdsm sites so they can't find you?


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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 7:35:42 PM   
Fnordstrum


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I tend to prefer IMing to sending mails -- I don't really care as far as the medium for either (AIM, Yahoo, MSN, are all the same, and any email vs mail on collarme is all the same, as far as my preferences go anyway)..

I don't have the problem of being swamped from IMs ever, and I also have Pidgin open 100% of the time (Pidgin being a program to connect to AIM, Yahoo, MSN, Google Talk, and anything else I want at the same time without having to run a million things -- plus, of course, doing it in Linux), even when I'm not home/sleeping/whatever (That, of course, is what away messages are for)... However if you do have the problem of being swamped by IMs, there are a few things you could do.. One of which is to go invisible, so nobody knows you're on unless you IM them first.. Another would be to use more than one screen name, one for when you want to talk to only a specific couple of people, and another for when you want to talk to any random person and/or don't care about being 'swamped' at the moment.. Also, if you're getting inundated with IMs from people you just don't want to talk to at all / ever (or, with spambot IMs), you can just block everyone except people on your list.


Also as far as email vs IMs in general, sometimes I use IMs more in the style of mail -- Someone will message me while I'm at work, and then I'll respond when I get home, and then they're not there but they respond later on when they get back to their computer, etc... Just because you can respond instantly doesn't mean you have to. (Although if you're trying to actually hold a conversation it does work better if you respond without too big of a delay) ---- But then, that's really the thing people would like or not like about IMs vs mail -- If you just want to send a message; think about it for a while, write it, send it, get a response sometime later which you respond to sometime after that, that's more of a mail type of thing, but if you want to hold a conversation with someone, same as talking to them in person or on the phone, that's an IM type of thing... And many people prefer having a conversation the same way you would if you were talking in person / on the phone, to sending delayed messages, hence, why IM is so popular.

But yeah if people are bugging you with IMs, just go invisible (or at the very least change your status to away or something), or block people, or just tell people you're busy and you'll talk later.

Fnord.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 8:22:58 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

Id rather chat in a regular email format, where I can CHOOSE when and how to respond when I have the ability to take the time to formulate my answers and devote my full attention to the conversation.....and yet....everyone else in the world apparently has the opposite opinion. Why do people enjoy yahoo IM so much? Ugh.


Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. I hate IM, used to have something about that in my profile, and will be soon putting in back in.

Nice new avatar pic, also.


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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 8:36:15 PM   
pahunkboy


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Gosh- I am in the crowd here.  YM got so out of control- I too am finished with it.  Anytime I re-install it - it takes a long time to get all the settings correct- - I miss the 2 people- who were worth talking to.  But the knuckleheads of the rest of the list and then now the new fake spammers on it.

I used to be able to get an old version of it-  but whatever- we are done.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 8:42:17 PM   
igor2003


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I don't mind email or cmail for long narations and for first getting to know someone, but IM is so much more like chatting in person for a quick exchange or "banter". It is a lot easier to get to know something about a persons personality via IM. I keep my Messenger set as "Invisible to Everyone" and pick the people that I want to know I'm online. And there is also the delete and block features when you don't want to talk to someone at all.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/26/2009 10:05:43 PM   
einstien5201


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I prefer the quick interaction of an IM service (and the easy notification of new messages without having to constantly refresh a page) to e-mail. Don't get me wrong, e-mail is great for when the other person isn't online, and I love seeing that I have new mail, but if both people are online then IMs seem to me a more natural, easier way of conversing. I'll never force it on someone, but I'll suggest it if the conversation is going well and seems promising. But then, I just ignore people who IM me if I don't want to talk to them, so I've never been bothered by the whole 'mass message' thing.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 1:38:55 AM   
NihilusZero


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10 Points for shoulder freckles (OP).

And 10 Points for every mention of the Invisibility option. When you start the program, it immediately offers you 3 tick boxes, one of which is: "Sign in as invisible to everyone." Problem solved.

IM programs are incredibly useful insta-conversation mechanisms. With a webcam and earphone/mic assembly, you can effectively video chat with someone as if talking face to face (lag notwithstanding). Just a little learning how to control them to your benefit goes a long way.


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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 4:11:57 AM   
Aneirin


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Either chat program, MSN or Yahell, annoy me now, for they have changed from what they were when I first started using them. MSN in particular, that one completely stuffed up on my computer, and with it hotmail, so neither I use now. If I use yahell now, then it is through my email box. But on the whole I prefer to communicate with people via mail, cmail on here, other private messaging systems elsewhere. 

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 4:31:08 AM   
devilishpixie


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I a always invisible on yahoo and IM people when I feel inclined to. A choice few know I am always invisible so they may ping me. I am always logged into gmail chat and visible, because that is where me and my master talk when he is at work.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 5:19:23 AM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

Does anyone else feel totally annoyed by turning on yahoo instant messenger?


this is a very easy problem to resolve by not giving out your information to strangers until you've established some rapport beforehand. otherwise you end up adding and deleting people at whim which can be incredibly annoying. i have individuals i speak with on a daily basis. i can count them on one hand. i don't think that number needs to climb.

you could setup another name, but i think prudence is necessary. of course everyone wants to talk on im. but generally most people you converse with on the other side will rarely last in that space. the lack of time to compose their thoughts and appear stable seems to leave many exposed. after a conversation or two you realize it was a waste of time.

in the past i had this issue but i no longer do. i keep things here until i feel the person is worthy of more intimate conversation. i will converse via email as well. but the biggest difference was my refusal to talk to several people simultaneously which inevitably causes a headache and situations like this. i limit myself to one at a time. my limit was once two but i no longer feel that is suitable either. being able to focus on one person without distraction works for me.

if you're feeling overwhelmed you're probably not weeding properly. i also suggest being invisible as well. the same handful i speak to daily are the ones that see me all the time for the very reasons you're complaining about. they don't bug me.

porcelaine


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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 5:30:42 AM   
Aileen1968


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Get gmail.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 5:34:34 AM   
pahunkboy


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YM was fun up until the kitchen sink became a feature of it.

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RE: Tired of being Dommed by yahoo instant messenger.. - 10/27/2009 5:37:37 AM   
thishereboi


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Yea, I feel the same way. That is why I tell people I don't do chat and why I don't use YM. If you don't like using it, then tell people that and don't sign on to it.

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