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DemonKia -> RE: Compelled to be here - musings of a mad man (10/24/2009 11:39:35 AM)
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Porcelaine, you brought up something (bolded in the quote, below) I've had a thought about, maybe worth sharing . . . . I was feeling very not-listened-to, some years ago. & I was alarmed at how I was reacting to this by getting more strident & loud & obnoxious & etc. & for a separate reason I started listening to myself rather intensely. & the more I 'heard' myself the more I felt 'listened to', & the less I needed others outside of myself to 'hear' me . . . . . Epiphanic. Since then I've made a habit of writing out stuff I feel needs to be 'heard' & reading thru it repeatedly. Most especially, setting it aside & reading it at later points in time when I'm in different frames of mind. & I've found that the more thoroughly I listen to myself the more 'heard' I feel & I have thus greatly reduced my 'need' to 'make' others 'hear' me . . . . . quote:
ORIGINAL: porcelaine perhaps this is a distraction or merely isn't filling the void you'd hoped it would. your continued participation regardless of real time interruptions, relationships, etc. would be testament of a sincere desire to be part of an online community of this nature. it is commonplace to take a hiatus when warranted or necessary, but people usually return when their period of isolation is behind them. only you know what brings you here and what is taking you away. the lack of friendships is by your own making. if you wanted to have real connections you'd allow them to occur and extend yourself in this way. what i glean from everything that is said and not said is that in this moment you sincerely wish to be heard. rather than focus on what you're not receiving, you may wish to ask others what you can do to have the very thing you seek. porcelaine
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