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Formal messages - 10/22/2009 6:20:17 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

Do you respond to formally written messages?
Greetings,
How are you?
blablablablabhblah
Feel free to contact me

<insert name>

Personally I cannot stand them. Besides being most likely a spam it's so structured and impersonal, even though messages include my name I don't care it's just..extremely unappealing.

I usually don't respond to those... or respond in a way that clearly shows I'm not going to talk to them any further.

So..do you guys like formal messages?

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

Post #: 1

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 6:28:36 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

As a man, I never get them. I get three kinds of unsolicited messages:

1. Spam.
2. Letters from real women. They're always well thought out. A woman contacting a man will take some time to do it, and won't waste the chance by writing something stupid.
3. Bizarre letters from men who ignore the fact that I'm straight.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 2

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 7:47:50 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I am much more likely to respond to a formally-written message than a "hi, perv'd ur prof. U sound cool- wanna chat?"

Personally, I prefer messages (especially first messages) that sound more like a formal introduction letter. Then again, most of what I prefer is higher protocol and more formal, so I guess that makes sense.

Dame Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 8:04:32 AM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

Eh...sometimes. I've found that a few people have actually been quite entertaining! Not everyone is able/understands to write a nice introduction. I know people offline who feel uncomfortable or weird divulging more than, "I read your profile and thought maybe we could talk!" Just like there are people who can't spell great, put together sentences, etc.

Then again, it all depends on what you're looking for. I don't mind that sort of mail, some people do. I guess I'm just not one of them?

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 4

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 8:57:21 AM

Fnordstrum

Posts: 164
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

Man I hope people respond to that style of message, as that tends to be how I would initially message someone (Although I rarely do so these days) -- I don't see how else you WOULD message someone in a way that didn't seem lame/spammy, especially if someone starts using 'txt-speak' or other abuses of the english language.

I mean, if not, Greetings, whatever, feel free to message me back -- What would you have someone say?

Of course a lot of the times someone barely has anything on their profile so it's like, well this person might be interesting, but I really have nothing to say to them that would make a message to them be worth reading or be in any way more interesting/different that anyone else's might be (and then I don't bother messaging because, if I can't come up with anything interesting to say, why would I think they're going to bother responding) --- But that's getting into different territory from the original topic... I guess the relevance is mainly that messaging someone who you haven't previously talked to is not the easiest thing to do. (Easiest thing, when you want to write an actual, decent message instead of something 'impersonal')

But I really don't see how writing a message that uses formalities is particularly impersonal. (Particularly as an initial message)

So, fnord.

As far as responding myself, I don't get many messages, 'formal' ones or otherwise, but I do respond to ones I get, and don't have a preference other than disliking people mangling English in unforgivable ways (Using single letters or numbers instead of words, and other 'txt-speak' and internet abbreviations/shorthand/whatever -- You know, "u" "4" "ur" crap like that...) -- I'll still respond, but it doesn't give me a good impression of the person.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

_____________________________

Power = Work / Time
Knowledge is Power and Time is Money, so
Knowledge = Work / Money, and Money = Work / Knowledge
Therefore, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity (regardless of work done), and vice versa.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

Post #: 5

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 9:03:06 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

So..do you guys like formal messages?

i respond to most of the messages i receive out of courtesy. it takes a second to write a couple of sentences thanking them for sending the note and indicating my interests are elsewhere. i will always wish them well on their search. i don't think there's anything wrong with being polite. furthermore, i could be wrong and the person is sincere and i've judged him inappropriately.

i try to give people the benefit of doubt. the formality doesn't bother me. i prefer communicating with articulate men that are adept at written expression. it permits more stimulating dialogue and i like being mentally engaged. i'm more perturbed by those that use text messaging verbiage. it is inane and annoying. those conversations never continue.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 6

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 9:12:48 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Formality of the sort the op mentions remind me of a business letter. I don't want one that says "Dear Sir or Madam, as the case may be". Equally don't use text speak. I don't much use that even when texting unless I'm running out of time.

I'd rather "Hi, My name is. You caught my eye when you said x in profile/forum. I'm curious what you meant" and so on. Something that shows he knows who he's writing and he actually is motivated to start a conversation.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 7

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 9:27:47 AM

afterforever

Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline

I don't mind formal letters, like people have said, better than text speak or "Will you put my Faberge eggs up your cunt?" which I got for the 4th time today. At the very least I think they deserve a polite reply, and they can sometimes be quite well written and entertaining. It's a bit annoying if you get one and the sender hasn't even looked at your profile though. It wouldn't be that hard to add one little sentence to show they actually got farther than your picture.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 9:31:05 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Wow, Fabrege, if they got 'em you really should do it, or hell I will (best I can) you know what those things are worth?

Ron

_____________________________

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(in reply to afterforever)

Post #: 9

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 9:45:29 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afterforever

I don't mind formal letters, like people have said, better than text speak or "Will you put my Faberge eggs up your cunt?" which I got for the 4th time today.

i'd probably respond and ask if they were genuine. i'd get a chuckle from the originality at the very least. he could have suggested something more mundane instead.

i don't find all sexual talk offensive, but it isn't something i'd want to lead off with. if we do have those discussions it is probable that person isn't a contender. talking to a man that makes you desire him without the mere mention of cock, cunt, or what he desires to do to me is majorly appealing. i usually like them more.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to afterforever)

Post #: 10

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 10:08:15 AM

afterforever

Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline

The message always comes with pictures, he has a pretty good collection. I don't think he was offering to give me one, although I guess it would be pretty easy to smuggle one out of the session? Ron you're hardcore, they all looked pretty spikey to me.
I replied to him the last 2 times just because his message cracked me up so much, I think he keeps sending it to me on purpose now.

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 11

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 10:22:21 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I think I know who it is that sends them, and my bets is old rasputin got the pics out of an internet mag.

tap taptaptap taptap tap taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppp

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to afterforever)

Post #: 12

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 10:54:45 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

quote:

I'd rather "Hi, My name is. You caught my eye when you said x in profile/forum. I'm curious what you meant" and so on. Something that shows he knows who he's writing and he actually is motivated to start a conversation.

This's exactly the messages that make me feel more open.
I don't consider informal messages to include text speak, I rarely use text speak. The informal seems just more friendly.

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 11:45:42 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

It all depends on how formal the sender is and what they initially write determines if I reply back. I'd rather have a person be less formal and state a legit reason why they wrote, whether it's to something I wrote or simply to ask a question. Text speak I find is highly annoying and it violates ,y sense of good grammar and those messages do get deleted with a response!

_____________________________

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 14

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 12:00:52 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

With random people I don't know...yes, I prefer an email be more formal. I don't do text speech or "hey, how are ya?", "cute pic wanna chat?" or any other nonsense. This doesn't mean I want their life story in a 3 page letter, something straightforward, engaging, courteous and well written (spell check please) goes a long way towards making a positve first impression.

Once I get to know a person there will be less, but as an introduction I appreciate something more formal.

*Edited to add...a formal letter is VERY different from a form letter. The first one is appreciated, the second is usually ignored/deleted.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 10/22/2009 12:08:26 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 15

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 2:12:59 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

In person and left to my own devices, I speak more formally than most, so a letter with formal language would not affront me while a form letter would.
Davan

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-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
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(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 16

RE: Formal messages - 10/22/2009 6:53:34 PM

kittyboy

Posts: 35
Joined: 1/29/2006
From: Brisbane Australia
Status: offline

Like DarkStevenI only tend to get

1. Spam.
2. Letters from real women. They're always well thought out, well written and easy to read.
3. Bizarre letters from men. They're almost always bordering on unintelligble.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 17

RE: Formal messages - 10/23/2009 5:29:37 AM

Moonhead

Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline

I don't even get those three types: the only messages I've got on here have been replies to messages I've sent.
(I don't write formally myself: it's an email not a letter, and it hasn't been the mid 19th century for a very long time now.)

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to kittyboy)

Post #: 18

RE: Formal messages - 10/23/2009 8:52:39 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Do you respond to formally written messages?
Greetings,
How are you?
blablablablabhblah
Feel free to contact me

I respond to sincere and respectful messages.

I do NOT respond to...
*obvious spam (as you've quoted above)--I just report it
*queries that are really statements, not sincere questions
(i.e., I don't attend every argument to which I'm invited)
*endless, pointless, circular discussions

I don't worry about criticizing every little thing that pops up here. Life is short. I try to take the good, just ignore the rest and let it slide away.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 19

RE: Formal messages - 10/23/2009 10:24:30 AM

Fnordstrum

Posts: 164
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

I also don't see how "Greetings, [message], feel free to message me" is obvious spam, I would think it entirely depends on what the message part of it is.

But, fnord.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

_____________________________

Power = Work / Time
Knowledge is Power and Time is Money, so
Knowledge = Work / Money, and Money = Work / Knowledge
Therefore, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity (regardless of work done), and vice versa.

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 20

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