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On Line Dominance - 10/16/2009 11:37:53 PM

DesertEagle44

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/22/2008
From: Alta Loma
Status: offline

people keep telling me that a few women like the mental part of this lifestyle. i have been trying to find her for years. if people know who i em, you will know why.

i know trust and the truth dont seem important to most but i must be one of a few people who believe in the truth.

i just wonder why most, not all people are so shallow.

im not trying to start a fight here, im just voicing my option and the truth

thomas

Post #: 1

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/16/2009 11:52:46 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

im just voicing my option and the truth

if it is the truth...then there is nothing to discuss

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 2

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 12:03:35 AM

sravaka

Posts: 314
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

people keep telling me that a few women like the mental part of this lifestyle. i have been trying to find her for years. if people know who i em, you will know why.

i know trust and the truth dont seem important to most but i must be one of a few people who believe in the truth.

i just wonder why most, not all people are so shallow.

im not trying to start a fight here, im just voicing my option and the truth

Truth?

A large proportion of those who like the mental part like some sort of physical part to go along with it. Are you implying that only indifference to the physical part qualifies as "true"? and/or "deep"?

If you'd put it in terms of "true" interpersonal connection, so wonderful and compelling that physical considerations pale, or some such... i might have a particle of sympathy.

For good or ill, you have to work with what is out there, not bemoan the lack of what would be convenient. And bringing terms like "true" and "shallow" into it will only work against you.

Drop them and try again.

_____________________________

Miseries hold me fixed, and I would gladly cut these roots to become a floating plant. I would yield myself up utterly, if the inviting stream could be relied upon. --Ono no Komachi

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 3

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 12:11:17 AM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

quote:

if it is the truth...then there is nothing to discuss

Justme -- I hear black and white thinking...limited by labels and assumptions.

DesertEagle:
The brain is the greatest erogenous zone. Almost every woman's priority is the mental and emotional aspect of relating with a partner. Trust is more often misplaced than it is breached. Confidence gained through the experience of honesty is very important to many people.

Every person has depth. The question is whether they have explored it and gained their deeper awareness. This is one area in which a master earns the confidence of his partner. By exemplifying depth, discipline, and self mastery, one guides their partner to greater awareness of self.

< Message edited by aldompdx -- 10/17/2009 12:12:07 AM >

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 4

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 12:15:17 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

Justme -- I hear black and white thinking...limited by labels and assumptions.

the truth..is black and white..
Opnions are not so black and white

people who use the the word "truth" in a discussion...leave no space for a discussion. Never go into a discussion with people who preach the "truth"

ps
with out labels you wouldn't know if you bought cola or 7-up :P

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 5

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 1:19:00 AM

DesertEagle44

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/22/2008
From: Alta Loma
Status: offline

i just dont like to lie to any. im a Quadriplegic so everything is in my head. your prob. asking "how can a Quadriplegic be a dom" i think its possible but who knows.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 6

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 1:29:38 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Personally, what *I* keep thinking is "why does he keep posting essentially the same thing over and over again?"

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 7

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 3:29:52 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Repeat advertising, perhaps?

OP, I don't know why you cannot find online only female submissives. I just sent you a mail with the profiles of two Denver area ones.

Good luck.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 8

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 3:51:30 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Preferring to have a relationship that is mental, emotional and physical is not shallow, it is a preference.

I'm curious if you are picking out who to write based in part on their pictures, because for online only that should not be a criteria.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 4:21:49 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

I have found that if you are part of a particular target audience you will have more success seeking out others who are part of that target audience. I'm kinky so I would seek out others who are also into kink in some fashion. When I was kinky and married and in a poly relationship it seemed best to seek out partners who were also kinky and married and in poly relationships. Perhaps you should be looking amongst the ranks of kinky paraplegic or quadriplegic submissives.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 10

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 4:50:56 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

"Online only" is a red flag to me. Why? Because 99% of the time, it means you're hiding something. You either have a pesky spouse or significant other who does not understand you, or you are hiding from *yourself.*

Now, I understand the OP has a disability. Perhaps he is in that 1% category. But stating that people are shallow b/c they want a physical relationship is just....ridiculous. I feel quite sure if the OP were not so disabled, this would not be his stance.

(Yeah, yeah, I know, I was *mean* to the disabled guy. )

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 11

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 5:41:12 AM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertEagle44

people keep telling me that a few women like the mental part of this lifestyle. i have been trying to find her for years. if people know who i em, you will know why.

i know trust and the truth dont seem important to most but i must be one of a few people who believe in the truth.

i just wonder why most, not all people are so shallow.

im not trying to start a fight here, im just voicing my option and the truth

thomas

Could you please explain what 'the truth' is? And are you saying that people who want something physical are shallow, or did I misunderstand that bit?

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 12

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 5:48:20 AM

bliss4us09

Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline

How do you know that trust and truth are unimportant to most?

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 13

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 5:52:19 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I think the reason you have problems finding someone is not because of being a quadriplegic but because of your attitude.

I've seen you post before and you seem bitter and angry and really...that's the turnoff to women, not your handicap.

(in reply to bliss4us09)

Post #: 14

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 6:22:31 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I have found that there are people who thrive on the mental side of things and not just BDSM, D/s, M/s or kink in general and I have found there are people who need a hands on approach and find the mental aspect tedious. Once i would have stated empirically that a balance between the mental and hands on is needed to be well rounded and well balanced. However since i have been involved to some small degree with programs dealing with kids who want to drop out of school because they can't, for any reason, deal with the mental or book learning approach and yet year to be able to become in trade courses where they learn the principles by doing instead of reading, I have revised my views. I feel that those who enjoy the mental aspect of what ever it is they do should be encouraged to pursue this with what ever hands on aspects they are able to deal with. Conversely, I also believe the reverse should be encourages for the hands on practical person.

I don't believe that disabilities should be allowed to negate people from achieving successes. In years past I have had the honour of knowing and watching some magnificently talented artists using only what they could hold in their mouths create works of art. Some people develop such a creative mind able to see and visualise things far better then many not disabled folk can do. many of those who do find sucess either socially and/or financially have beed in a dark place and needed to relear many aspects of themselves to not just overcome the disabilities, but to develop an attitude in general which diverts people from any disability and draws them to enjoy the company of the disabled person. On the whole I found them some of the happiest people with such a positive outlook on life that you just want to be in their company. There are time when I am more than a tad unhappy that my legs don't want to support me and thus stopping me from doing things about the home that I normally would do, and after, when alone, have exhausted my vocabulary of good old fashion Anglo-Saxon expletives, I take stock over a pipe and take on board the lessons I have learned from these remarkable people and work on readjusting my way of seeing things so that I may be able to find solutions rather then being part of the problem. Luckely I can enjoy laughing at myself and even taking the mickey out of myself. It works for me others will find alternative ways and means.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 15

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 6:48:46 AM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

I have often stated that I believe too many people search on too narrow a basis and that is why it doesn't work out.
I think that for a relationship to work, it has to work on all levels, shared interests in things other than just the kink.
You must share dreams and hopes. You need a spiritual base that is compatible.
You need to match lives not just a narrow interest.

Does this make it harder to find someone?
Probably. But it means you are more likely to succeed in a lasting relationship if you do find each other.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 16

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 6:51:03 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

Personally I think searching sucks any way. It is better to "meet" people.
People who search often wish to much to fast and get disappointed fastly.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 17

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 6:54:58 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

i have read posts by the op in the past. i also recall a particular thread where an offer was made to provide assistance with getting him to a local munch. what i don't understand is why it is so difficult to fathom why one situation isn't ideal for a person. that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the one making the offer or the one that declines. it would seem that too much energy has been invested in what is lacking rather than celebrating the access that is available. many people are unattached and seeking partnership, yet they recognize there are many factors involved and don't bemoan someone else's decision.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 18

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 6:57:37 AM

oceanwyndsLoves

Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2009
Status: offline

Hello OP

I am going on the asusmption, be it true or not, that you might be open for suggestions. If you are, my suggestion is go within and become the person you seek to have in your life. In my life a major red flag is anyone who has a need to put down a person or group of people, because they have not found anything positive in their own experience. I see this a lot on Cm. To me they might as well branded themselves to not be approach, but that is my major red flag in all areas of life. I also look at people as mirrors to aspects of who I am, and if being approached in ways that are a 'turn off' to me, then I will go inside to find if those characteristics are being shown to others by me.

I work a lot on inner, mental discipline. My mind and others are my major focus. Sir's mind is what attracted me to him in the first place, same as with those who have had an important part in my life. I am not big on blaming society, or a group, or anything outside of me for the condition my life is in. I would not want to be with anyone who does, and never have been with anyone that would want a person who blames outside themselves for their lot in life.

May you find what you are seeking within and outside of you,
blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 19

RE: On Line Dominance - 10/17/2009 10:48:29 AM

maat

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertEagle44

people keep telling me that a few women like the mental part of this lifestyle. i have been trying to find her for years. if people know who i em, you will know why.

i know trust and the truth dont seem important to most but i must be one of a few people who believe in the truth.

i just wonder why most, not all people are so shallow.

im not trying to start a fight here, im just voicing my option and the truth

thomas

I think many women are atracted to the mental side of BDSM but also atracted to the physical aspect of it. Many simply cant separete the two.

There are places online were a pysical side to bdsm isent a consideration were you live your submission or Dominance in the viritual world alone.

Maybe it is just that you are looking in the wrong place?

I was an online submissive for many years before i started craving more. I know of online relationships that has laster for years that eventaly moved to phonecalls and skype.

i meen no offence here, but maybe you shuld try looking in chatrooms. there are alot of places online were you can find women who will be happy to serve mentaly only.

best of luck

(in reply to DesertEagle44)

Post #: 20

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