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LadyPact -> RE: Sexual Control For Those Dominants Involved Elsewhere (10/13/2009 2:24:20 PM)
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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
The best I can do for you is to offer My perspective from when clip wasn't deployed. More precisely, when I first got clip and he was stationed in My area during nursing school.
Now, if the above caveats fit you, here are the questions:
Do you control your submissive's sexuality?
There were time periods that I did. I don't prefer to when he is with his primary partner.
Is he/she allowed to enjoy the same sort of sexual relationship elsewhere that you enjoy?
For the times that clip is with his primary partner, yes he is. I don't want the dynamic between us to be a draw back in any way to his primary relationship. If that relationship didn't exist, I would control his sex life at all times. There isn't to be any sexual activities outside of that. For those wondering about the time line, that comes down to roughly nine months out of the last two and a half years that I didn't.
If not, why?
If there was no other primary relationship, it would be because of My feelings on poly fidelity. But if he was not allowed to enjoy a sexual relationship with you, then would it be fair to restrict him from one? And does that mean that if his primary relationship falls by the wayside, would he then become restricted to no more body on body sexual contact with anyone?
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Does the gender of the submissive come into consideration in your decision?
Not really. One of the reasons that I don't want a female submissive is because of the sexual aspect. I'm not bi and that would automatically put Me in the position of a situation where her sexual wants couldn't be fulfilled with Me for her happiness as a whole.
These are some pretty lousy answers, but if you want to mail Me and ask more about how it works, feel free.
Actually, I appreciate you taking the time to answer. I've put the question on here that was raised by your answers.
In My case, Creative, it would most likely be a situation where it would revert to sex with Me in a committed dynamic. I've done D/s that included sex, M/s without, and some that are in between. This wouldn't apply to anyone that I consider a casual play partner, because those are not sexual relationships for Me.
No, it isn't exactly "fair" (what about power relationships really is?) but I'd still restrict sexual contacts. As I think you know about Me, I have other sadistic tastes that while not sexual, do include some form of fluid bonding (blood). This can open a whole can of worms when you consider those things that can be transmitted from one person to another. For Me, this makes it a health issue as well as an authority issue. Yes, yes..... Condoms, condoms, condoms, but for Me to approve of someone, I'd also want to know their habits, as well as see their health report. (I've done that in the past and I have NO issue in telling someone it's either proof on paper or nothing.)
One thing I have to say here is that these are issues to Me that should be discussed between two parties BEFORE a commitment is made. Not everybody can or will do fidelity. Even with My poly situation, there are still periods that I'm celibate for months because My males are more important to Me than sexual gratification. I'm actually pretty old fashioned about it.
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