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Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:33:37 AM

geomease

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/25/2009
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So I have a quick question. I've been catting a bit through email with a professional dom who claims to be looking for a 24/7 sub/slave for a real relationship with. Everything seems to be going nicely she seems very wel versed and she has her own website with detailed description of her skills training and abilities and it all sounds very nice. But all of the sudden she says I have a final test of sorts, that I have to send her a financial gift of sorts. It's at this point that i have become wary, I've heard that financial dom's should be avoided whenever possible and not only that but I am quite strapped for cash. Is it probable that I am just getting scammed or is this just as she said a test? Any suggestions or tips would be greatly appreciated.

Post #: 1

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:36:56 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

Hmmm. Well, she is a pro Domme you said, and pros do charge..... Maybe she was warming you up and here's where the rubber meets the road?

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to geomease)

Post #: 2

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:37:59 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
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It WAS a final test. And she flunked it.

You're broke, and she has the money to get a pro website put together. It doesn't matter whether she's a scam or not - she'll be wanting money from you regularly and you don't have it. No different than if she was a lesbian looking for a woman - you're not what she wants and vice versa.

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Post #: 3

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:41:30 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

I can't say for sure, because I don't know the women in question. So I will just give you my generic advice.

If anyone asks you for money on the internet, it is a scam. It doesn't matter if their english sucks or if it is word perfect, doesn't matter if they are from Nigeria or Toledo...if you don't know them, and they are trying to get you to send them money, it's a scam.

Now there are professionals out there that you can go to and they will set up an appointment for a session and tell you what their going rate is. Kinda like when you make an appointment to get your hair cut. That is totally different than having you send them some cash to pass your last test.

Personally, I think your young and cute and should go out and find some munches in your area and meet people face to face. There might even be a TNG group in your area which is for younger people.

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(in reply to geomease)

Post #: 4

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:46:04 AM

keary

Posts: 16
Joined: 3/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I can't say for sure, because I don't know the women in question. So I will just give you my generic advice.

If anyone asks you for money on the internet, it is a scam. It doesn't matter if their english sucks or if it is word perfect, doesn't matter if they are from Nigeria or Toledo...if you don't know them, and they are trying to get you to send them money, it's a scam.

Now there are professionals out there that you can go to and they will set up an appointment for a session and tell you what their going rate is. Kinda like when you make an appointment to get your hair cut. That is totally different than having you send them some cash to pass your last test.

Personally, I think your young and cute and should go out and find some munches in your area and meet people face to face. There might even be a TNG group in your area which is for younger people.

I would not say that all people online, that ask for money, are a scam. It is the ones that do not state explicitly from the very beginning, that money is their goal. That is what I think is a scam.

To lure someone in, with no mention of money, then when they feel they have the hook set, demand itTHAT to me is a very scummy thing to do. Especially to a young inexperienced guy like the one on here.

< Message edited by keary -- 10/9/2009 6:47:40 AM >

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 5

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:50:30 AM

geomease

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/25/2009
Status: offline

I see, I suppose what they say is is correct, if something seems to good to be true ir probably is. There is a newbie munch coming up, I just need to find a way to get out there to it. Lacking a car is a major handicap and from what I've seen or heard there are currently no carpools going there.

(in reply to keary)

Post #: 6

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 6:57:56 AM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

That depends on your definition of "scam" - if you consider a scam to be 'paying for something that you can get for free' then yeah it is. But um...that's presuming you can, in fact, get it for free.

Pro Dommes aren't scammers in the sense that they take your money and give nothing back in return, or lie about what they're giving. You obviously know she's a pro, so she's not hiding anything. If you want to be dominated by her, it will be by her standards. If you don't want to pay a woman directly to get your needs met, then feel free to keep looking.

To be honest, I think you're the one wasting her time here. She's upfront about being a pro. You seem to think you're the special exception to her standards. You should have said that up front.

(in reply to geomease)

Post #: 7

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 7:03:19 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

That depends on your definition of "scam" - if you consider a scam to be 'paying for something that you can get for free' then yeah it is. But um...that's presuming you can, in fact, get it for free.

Pro Dommes aren't scammers in the sense that they take your money and give nothing back in return, or lie about what they're giving. You obviously know she's a pro, so she's not hiding anything. If you want to be dominated by her, it will be by her standards. If you don't want to pay a woman directly to get your needs met, then feel free to keep looking.

To be honest, I think you're the one wasting her time here. She's upfront about being a pro. You seem to think you're the special exception to her standards. You should have said that up front.

Pro dommes also don't ask for money online for nothing. They set up sessions with an agreed on price for real time play. There are a lot of men out there for one reason or another want this kind of relationship and that is great, but I really don't see the op as one of them.

As to the numerous "send me money to prove your real" profiles, yea to me they are scams. But as I said earlier, if ANYONE asks you for money online, it's a scam.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Elisabella)

Post #: 8

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 7:07:51 AM

VAcontroldom

Posts: 65
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

Even if it's not a scam, you should be saving your money to buy a car, etc. Until then you have your fantasies, your right hand, your left hand, vanilla dating, and non-professionals

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 9

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 7:08:34 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Um...do you -want- to send her money? If so, then do within your means. If not, then don't and observe what happens.

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I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to geomease)

Post #: 10

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 7:15:15 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

ask to meet Her in person and see what happens. i was taken once by the gift first thing, all i got was blocked. i would suggest if you want to find a Dominant then try going to a local munch or local dungeon and meet some fore real and see how it goes.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 11

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 7:28:49 AM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

That depends on your definition of "scam" - if you consider a scam to be 'paying for something that you can get for free' then yeah it is. But um...that's presuming you can, in fact, get it for free.

Pro Dommes aren't scammers in the sense that they take your money and give nothing back in return, or lie about what they're giving. You obviously know she's a pro, so she's not hiding anything. If you want to be dominated by her, it will be by her standards. If you don't want to pay a woman directly to get your needs met, then feel free to keep looking.

To be honest, I think you're the one wasting her time here. She's upfront about being a pro. You seem to think you're the special exception to her standards. You should have said that up front.

Pro dommes also don't ask for money online for nothing. They set up sessions with an agreed on price for real time play. There are a lot of men out there for one reason or another want this kind of relationship and that is great, but I really don't see the op as one of them.

As to the numerous "send me money to prove your real" profiles, yea to me they are scams. But as I said earlier, if ANYONE asks you for money online, it's a scam.

That depends if they're doing the pro thing on a session by session basis or if they're doing a sugar bitchboy thing. She asked for money to test if he was serious about being her financial slave. If he was, he'd pay her. If he wasn't, he wouldn't. Many pro dommes would rather have a long term financial slave who they have a relationship with than a bunch of sporadic and impersonal sessions with new clients each time.

I think you have a fairly loose definition of 'scam' here. For me a scam is when someone asks for money for one specific reason, and then keeps the money for a different reason. The reason given here is 'a test before we meet' - it would only be a scam if she asked for money then DIDN'T meet him after he paid her.

Since he isn't going to pay her, you have no idea of knowing whether it is a scam or whether she'd have met him.

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 12

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 7:57:47 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

That depends if they're doing the pro thing on a session by session basis or if they're doing a sugar bitchboy thing. She asked for money to test if he was serious about being her financial slave. If he was, he'd pay her. If he wasn't, he wouldn't. Many pro dommes would rather have a long term financial slave who they have a relationship with than a bunch of sporadic and impersonal sessions with new clients each time.

I think you have a fairly loose definition of 'scam' here. For me a scam is when someone asks for money for one specific reason, and then keeps the money for a different reason. The reason given here is 'a test before we meet' - it would only be a scam if she asked for money then DIDN'T meet him after he paid her.

Since he isn't going to pay her, you have no idea of knowing whether it is a scam or whether she'd have met him.

Your right it could be a definition thing. And I know there is a chance that she would have actually met him after he paid her, but I would not bet money on it. My guess is after she had gotten as much cash as she could, she would have blocked him. That is the problem with online bullshit, you have no way of knowing if she is going to do what she says. Now when you meet a pro in the real world, there is always the chance that she will scam you somehow, but not nearly as much as if you have never met.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Elisabella)

Post #: 13

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 8:09:33 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

She asked for money to test if he was serious about being her financial slave.

Financial slavery was never mentioned by the OP. He said: claims to be looking for a 24/7 sub/slave for a real relationship with

Maybe her definition of "real relationship" IS financial slavery, maybe it isn't. I wouldn't assume that though.

Cali

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(in reply to Elisabella)

Post #: 14

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 8:13:32 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I don't tend to refer to this as a scam. It seems more like a version of bait and switch. You were baited with the idea that she was looking for a personal dynamic, then it was switched when a gift was required. (There are other versions of bait and switch as well.)

Don't feel bad. It's a very old trick and it is often successful.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Post #: 15

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 8:35:19 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
It WAS a final test. And she flunked it.

bingo.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 16

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 8:47:21 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

But all of the sudden she says I have a final test of sorts, that I have to send her a financial gift of sorts. It's at this point that i have become wary, I've heard that financial dom's should be avoided whenever possible and not only that but I am quite strapped for cash. Is it probable that I am just getting scammed or is this just as she said a test?

that would depend on the reference of professional in your original message. if you're referring to her line of work, or if she earns income as a dominant instead. if the latter is correct, i would say she's merely assessing your ability to be a playing client. a business will do this before an extension of credit is granted to someone desiring their services, which is who you are in this case. which leaves me to question why you'd seek out a situation such as this if money is an issue.

however, if she's merely a working professional and is seeking a financial gift to line her coffers, you must be honest with yourself. there's always a risk and it is probable if she was above board she might expect additional deposits going forward. while it is always nice to find someone we have an affinity with, we should not sacrifice our common sense in the process.

i chalk this one up to a proverbial question suze orman always asks her callers, "can you afford it?" i would respond in kind based on your response thus far and stamp this one denied.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to geomease)

Post #: 17

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 8:49:45 AM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

I see, I suppose what they say is is correct, if something seems to good to be true ir probably is. There is a newbie munch coming up, I just need to find a way to get out there to it. Lacking a car is a major handicap and from what I've seen or heard there are currently no carpools going there.

Well now. That's an interesting development. I just happened to look at your profile, and as it turns out, there now is a car pool going to this month's newcomers' munch. You live a couple of miles from me. I'll drop you a C-mail on the other side, and if you like, I'll introduce you to some real people in the local scene tomorrow.

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(in reply to geomease)

Post #: 18

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 8:52:28 AM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

She asked for money to test if he was serious about being her financial slave.

Financial slavery was never mentioned by the OP. He said: claims to be looking for a 24/7 sub/slave for a real relationship with

Maybe her definition of "real relationship" IS financial slavery, maybe it isn't. I wouldn't assume that though.

Cali

True.

My best friend is not outwardly into BDSM at all though I know she's the dominant one in bed. She just broke up with her boyfriend because he lost his job.

I think for a lot of women, some form of financial contribution is a prerequisite. For Dommes it's financial submission. For subs its "taking care of" her.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 19

RE: Question regarding Authenticity - 10/9/2009 9:08:01 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

Put your money away and go to the munch.
She specifically asked for a 24/7 real time relationship but is now asking you to cough up and if you do she will continue asking you to cough up. She doesn't care that your broke so long as you spend your last dollar on her!
If she is good at what she does then she will be earning some seriously good money and leading a much wealthier lifestyle than you are. She really doesn't need to take from people like yourself.

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(in reply to Elisabella)

Post #: 20

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