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D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 12:07:32 PM   
Faitherbee


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		So, this is something I have been curious about ever since we started looking in to and acting on a 24/7 D/S style of life.

For us, this works great. She is naturally submissive towards me, gains a lot of her own emotional stability from mine, etc.

She is also a pain chicken though. Which is okay because, consquently, I don't have any urge to hurt her.

I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 12:11:07 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		well, slaves and dominants are not necessarily masochists or sadists, yeah, gets alotta press, but it ain't everybody.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 12:18:58 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		BDSM is a combination acronym but no one ever said you had to do B/D or S/M in order to do D/S.  If it works for you, great.  You're still part of the acronym.  Not that it matters.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 12:52:06 PM   
subTeacher4u


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		I assume you have sat down and talked this all out.

In doing so, the guidelines as to what the relationship looks like for both of you should be
clearly defined.

If you are both in agreement, than you should strive to foster that trust within the contents
of what you defined, your own personal relationship.

Sir

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 1:03:08 PM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		I think a 1950 household can do without bdsm too.
So  D/s but with out the sm.


You can have it as you 2 wish. The name doesn't matter

_____________________________

Justme696 on the otherside
- D stands for Damian....not dude

(in reply to subTeacher4u)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 1:20:50 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faitherbee

I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions.


It's not all that uncommon really. Just doesn't get as much press as the fancy-schamcy floggings. 

A lof the time Val and I tend to function along those lines since we tend to not be scene heavy for a combination of reasons. 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 2:21:51 PM   
kccuckoldmist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/1/2009
Status: offline 		No reason as others have written it cannot work. I think many happy and loving relationships, even many in this way of life, have more to do with mutually agreed and communicated roles for the two people. Sometimes this can include kinky things and sometimes kinky things are nowhere to be seen.

I do personally believe the more severe the power exchange that there is the more of a correlation toward the people in it to want/enjoy/need physical manifestations of that power that leads to kinky things in their relationship. But there is no such thing as an instruction manual or must do this to be given the seal of approval.

If you guys are happy and in love then whatever you are doing is right for both of you.


_____________________________

"The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual's own reason and critical analysis." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

http://mistress-jen.blogspot.com/

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 2:48:12 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Certainly the Victorian Lifestyle is D/s (if slaves/servants are involved) and is not dependent on either slaves/servants nor BDSM nor are many Gorean Lifestyle Homes. BDSM is just an entertainment for some of whom may take it more seriously than others just as owning a slave or slaves is one of the perks if you can snare one or three.. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to kccuckoldmist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 3:03:07 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		Well, in our couple it's the same. He wants to serve me and I'm happy with it. I own him and his assets and he's at my service day and night, 365 days a year.

It feels good and right.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 3:21:10 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		There are no rules, BD and Sado-Masochism are neither inextricably linked or mutually exclusive.

(in reply to blmtrsne)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 4:21:19 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faitherbee

So, this is something I have been curious about ever since we started looking in to and acting on a 24/7 D/S style of life.

For us, this works great. She is naturally submissive towards me, gains a lot of her own emotional stability from mine, etc.

She is also a pain chicken though. Which is okay because, consquently, I don't have any urge to hurt her.

I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions.

<<chuckles>> Someone simply decided to stick the two terms together. Many people do things seperate

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 4:53:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Taken in Hand or Domestic Discipline fits this also, assigned power roles but no kink. Or not much, they both seem to stress spanking for any damned mistake which makes me wonder.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 4:57:30 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions...


it has been this slave's experience that MOST of the folks she has encountered that enjoy a D/s dynamic have no interest in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and/or Masochism.
 
from time to time...like other things in life...they overlap.

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 7:10:17 PM   
SelenaEndymion


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2009
Status: offline 		Not so usual as you would think. In fact, you'd probably be surprised by the number of couples, even on the FLR or WLM sides, that are heavy on the D/s and power-relation elements, and have virtually no S & M, or "traditional" BDSM elements.

There are many blogs that reflect that.

If it works for the two of you, if it makes you happy and fulfilled, than enjoy it and grow with it.

Dymion

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 7:20:08 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Sounds a bit like "taken in hand" or a 1950's type of relationship.  Let no one else define you and your lady.  If it works for you, wonderful. 

In this lifestyle, one size does not fit all, so to speak.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 7:29:16 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faitherbee
I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions.

*laughs* You need to read more. Not only are the entire huge communities (taken in hand for instance) which are not so focused on sadism and masochism, you'll find you're not alone even here in the wilds of BDSM-land. Carol and I don't have any real interest in bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, elaborate outfits and costumes, and pretty much the entire rest of the sexual wild side. I just like bossing her around.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 7:35:49 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead


In this lifestyle, one size does not fit all, so to speak.


Very well said!!!  


(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 7:49:58 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		The doctrine of consent supports omission of the "BM."

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/2/2009 9:00:59 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		my relationship with my slave seldom has bdsm activity. m/s does not equal bdsm, bdsm and m/s do not equal sex. i see big difference in all this. with control and power over my slave, my slave is very well trained and we have home and business together. i have very little reason for discipline, unless my slave acts inapropriate. sometimes we enjoy a bdsm session, but it plays very little role in the big picture of our master/slave relationship

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: D/S without BDSM - 10/3/2009 9:39:38 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		NO, no, no!

No, you are not allowed to be in the club unless you participate in sado-masochism!
Who let this guy in the door, anyway? Don't we have some sort of vetting going on anymore?

What the hell?


Heh, just teasing. Kim and I are very low on the kink-o-meter and aren't big on pain either. Welcome to the boards.

(in reply to Faitherbee)
Profile   Post #: 20
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