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DesFIP -> RE: Learning to be sub....all over again... (9/30/2009 4:33:19 PM)
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The whole thing about a journal is that you are supposed to pour everything into it. If he reads it that night, fine. If he doesn't, you 've still gotten the worry out of your head and onto paper/pixels. Sometimes just the writing it down is good enough to vent it.
Beyond that, if he doesn't ever want to know how you feel, not just the I'm hot and bothered fun stuff, but the bad stuff too, then is this really the relationship of your dreams.
There are times he's been impatient with my issues, but he knew about them coming in. He just takes a deep breath, reminds me yet again he isn't my ex, and then we move on. If I can't share everything, then I don't want to share some of it. I won't censor myself, won't cut part of me off again. This, warts and all (metaphorically) is who I am. If you want the good stuff you must accept the bad. I'm not willing to be half a person.
And because he's been so patient, reminding me over and over that he never did that, whatever it was, that he never will do it, that I'm safe, the insecurities have pretty much faded away by now. The more impatient he was, the worse I would be. He either loves you the way you need to be loved, or he doesn't. And if not, well maybe it's time to reevaluate a relationship that incompatible.
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