SteelofUtah
Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Steel,
My friend, I hope you don't take this the wrong way...
It's disconcerting to see that men are now going to, and worse needing, a 'validation' weekend retreat.
Odd that you see it as validation. That somehow the reason I went is that I didn't think I was man enough. Merc I know you are my firend. I know this and I want you to know I thought about you a lot this weekend. You see you did this as well. You may not know it, but you did. Only for you it was in a Basement by yourself and alone for a month waiting for death. You may see these two acts VERY different but it was through relating to you SPECIFICALLY that I was able to process MUCH of what I learned (Learned because no one sat me down and taught me this when I was 12 or 14 like many other cultures do). I learned that in this Society young boys are abandoned by the men who came before them and are left to form their own sub cultures I think much of this is the reason for gangs there are no longer those who are willing to teach the younger generation about what they have already learned.
Stranger yet when asked if I would invite you to such a thing Merc. My answer was No, cause you wouldn't get what I got out of it. You already got it when you rebuilt your life. As far as a Model of a Complete Man you were the only one I could offer.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Granted there is much around us that represents men in the worse possible light. View any random commercial on TV and the majority represent men as the idiot. Even when they are trying to sell something to men; the "Men of Genius". Funny huh? Imagine a woman so displayed for ridicule.
And funnier yet we allow it. Men are taught to brush off these insults however you will see Feminist Movements fighting to remove "Leave it to Beaver" and "Fathers Knows Best" from Sindication because it presents women in a weak light. Why are women more willing to organize and rage against what is wrong to them then men are? The Feminine Principle is not a BAD thing in fact if more men understood their own feminine principle they would be more relaxed around other me, more so if more men felt that it was OKAY to be me they would compete with each other much less and focus on the fact that they just are [Men] and move on to more productive things. Think about the amount of time most men spend trying to "Fool" a woman into being with them (This does not apply to Merc, or many "Dominant" men but it applies to many if not MOST men in general) they do flowers and sweet things, buy them jewerly, and go to chick flicks they have no desire to see to make them happy and then once they have them STOP most if not ALL of it to go back to being the Boy Man that most of them usually are.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Growing up as a boy today, and any exhibition of masculinity in elementary school is liable to have you put into counseling and on medication. Within 100 miles of any US coastline, the thought of giving a boy a toy gun is so reprehensible you can't find one in a toy store. At best maybe you'll have a few dolls to choose from under the guise of 'male action figures'. Does a weekend retreat make up for a constant barrage of pressure to NOT be a 'man'?
No one is asking ANYONE to make up for it. However if we do not look to change the world and it's image of man then we are the makers of our own ridicule. This weekend did not make up for the constant pressure that comes from standing up for the Masculine right instead it taught me that Society is WRONG about "Men" and that I am able to lead by example and BE A MAN, and not ever have to appologize for it just because someoe disagrees, or tells you it's wrong.
This weekend I told more people OUTSIDE the lifestyle about my Lifestyle than I have in the 12 years I have been involved in it. I told them without worry, fear, or shame that I was a Dominant Male and that I lived a Polyamorous Lifestyle. many people did not understand and that was okay. I didn't worry about explaining it to them I was open to questions if they had them and open to any ignorance they have if they don't.
The Point is a Large Portion of who I am as a Man was no longer a secret and it was rather liberating.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
quote:
Society has set an ingrained restriction on many men being able to be a man, and many men who try to buck against this society imposed cage often resort to behavior that does nothing but secure the ideal that society is right.
I couldn't agree with this more.
However it's sad to think that to address it, men got together, secluded, with other men to complain about it and go through 'rituals' to try to revisit and empower their masculinity. The female version used to be know as a 'bitch session' and blamed on hormones. What's this groups excuse?
Better yet, what are any of the participants doing about it today? Assuming they have "permission" from their wives or significant others, to do anything.
That is the think Merc. Many of the partisipants Today are re-intergating themselves back into a world they created for themselves, the one where it WASN'T okay to be a Man, they will have to deal with that, some will go right back to being the Mouse that wants to Roar, many will get a convuluted view of Manliness and make compramises on what they will and will not display. In the end it will be up to them to continue to intagrate the Man into WHO they are and not something they are ashamed to feel.
This group was not to copmplain. In fact, Complaining would get you no where as no one wanted to hear it. Instead it was about Men telling OTHER Men, it's okay to be a Man. You don't have to tone it down you just have to take acountability for your actions and admit where those actions are coming from because a Man should have integrity and responsibility for what he dose and not look to others to take the blame for them being them.
quote:
ORIGINAL: mnottertail
In my world (always has been and still is today) that women got together and cooked for us and served us and retired to their place and we did the cigars and brandy sorta thing after the tables were cleared.
so, I do not see a bunch of men gathering as a social group (for any reason) as being unmanly, unless it was a forced feminization class, or whatever.
Ron
Ron,
Where I would love to have been a part of that Generation this is not how it is today, There was a time Fathers taught there sons lessons, now days sons are lucky if they see their fathers twice a month on weekends. Courts think children should be with their mothers, and prioritize the relationship in a divorce that way. Men are Shushed and Quieted and looked to be locked away today. There is nothing wrong with women being an very integrated part of a mans life, being an influence to a Man demeaner however if that influence is to quell the desire to be a Man or to live in being a Man then that is where the Man must make the decision to stand for himself and not waiver in his right to be a Man.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DomKen
This sort of drivel is a big deal with some of my more woo loving acquaintances. IME some males are men and can behave like decent honorable people and some aren't and no amount of pounding on drums or sweat lodges or other made up initiation rituals will ever change that.
And DomKen, your answer is what I feel is wrong with Society. You simply believe they are or aren't. Like so many other men you aren't willing to show the younger generation what it means to be a Man and the mistakes and lessons you have learned.
I find it funny you call it Drivel. So much of the Lifestyle that we Live as Men in a Dominant Role is about our drive to be responsible for our masculinity.
I ask you this. Did you become you all on your own in a Vaccuume? Or were you shapped by those you admired? If you lacked having Men you admired........ who would you have become?
Steel
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