CreativeDominant
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Joined: 3/11/2006
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ORIGINAL: monaslave Some of my answers are going to be the same as others...some will be different. I hope you take the time to read through all of them.
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I just wonder, why most Doms are around 40 something and up, why so few under it? As has already been noted, there are more than a few that are under 40 but yes, the older than 40 crowd does outnumber. Several reasons---the younger ones are still establishing themselves financially and business-wise, quite a few of the younger ones soon demonstrate that they haven't mastered themselves yet in terms of things like knowing the difference between arrogance and self-assuredness (many of them come with an attitude of "Hey...I have a degree too! Congrats...but what have you done with it? How many times have you been knocked down and gotten back up?), their level of patience, understanding other ways besides their own, learning that when a submissive woman says she's sad, there is sometimes a need for something other than "sorry". I'll grant you that there are older dominants that don't know these things either but you didn't ask about them, you asked about the dearth of younger-than 40s. Another reason...tis possible the younger ones have not become aware of this within themselves just yet whereas the over-40 crowd has become aware of it within themselves thanks to their own lives and the signposts along the way. Though as someone mentioned, there is a more understanding and welcoming attitude among many...though not all, just ask some of my daughters' friends what they think of dominant men...younger women towards dominant men.
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And why do so many-not all,but many- seek under 40 or under 35, and preferably under 28? Now I dont believe-and have seen good examples- of ppl over those ages or under those ages(in the first case) that are "good enough" in all areas. So why ?
Again...several reasons. One...because we can. We have the right to state our preferences, just as anyone of any age has the right to do so. At my age now---54---I don't want a 24 yr. old for a long-term serious relationship. Would I play with one that wanted to play with me? Hell yes...and would be flattered to do so. We also can because we have reached a state in our lives where---for the most part---we are doing well financially, we've had our children and gotten them raised and, in some cases, are ready to take on more, and we've learned a lot about what does work and doesn't work in relationships. Two...because there are some, though by no means certainly all or even most, women our age who feel a need to "settle down" in all ways---they want to be submissive but with the dominant understanding that on some days, the "age" thing comes into play and they just can't do what he requires; they want to be sexual but with the dominant understanding that they just can't get excited as frequently or as easily as they used to, they want to indulge in play but with the understanding that they can no longer stand up to some of the pain that younger ones can. NOW before anyone jumps me about age-ism, please note what I said at the beginning of this point...and also note that my first submissive was indeed twenty years younger than my 44 (at the time), my second submissive was 41 to my 45 and my third submissive was 37 to my 49 and my ex-wive is 52 to my 54 so I've been at all kinds of ranges for age difference. My own personal criteria has become no one younger than 15 yrs younger UNLESS they are very, very special. Third...and perhaps this plays into point two...part of dominance for many dominants is guidance and leadership. Most, though certainly not all, younger submissives know they need it and want it. While there are women our age who are willing to acknowledge that they need guidance and leadership...I know several who immediately come to mind..., there are those who will tell you they want a dominant but they don't need leadership/guidance/teaching at this point in their life.
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RE: Just wondering - 
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