Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Off button


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Off button Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 11:31:12 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am pretty much Mr Spock in my normal mode.  I do not panic in an emergency.  Affection is not something I was taught, so for me that has been an adult lesson I made myself adopt until I can be at ease with it.  Blood, gore, or desperation from others does not trigger the "help them" gene in me.  I am logical in the charities I donate to, or the decisions on what is a worthwhile cause for which to donate time or energy.  This annoying trait has put me in charge of things I would rather not touch. 
It is only this.. submissive drive on which I have little control once it is given.  In fact I tend to be more like a slave in my approach to relationships, so I have to be very careful about who I give that power to because I know how my mind works.
I have very similar behavior on masochism.  I am one, regardless of erotic content, unlike most people I know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

I won't say I have an "off" button, but I can hold my emotions in check very well. I've been accused of being cold and heartless many times, but it is not true. I have feelings, I just don't react to them very often. Most of my actions are governed by reason, not emotion. The only ones I find myself unable to say no to are family, and that only rarely.





< Message edited by Missokyst -- 9/20/2009 11:32:09 AM >

(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 11:41:07 AM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I am pretty much Mr Spock in my normal mode.  I do not panic in an emergency.  Affection is not something I was taught, so for me that has been an adult lesson I made myself adopt until I can be at ease with it.  Blood, gore, or desperation from others does not trigger the "help them" gene in me.  I am logical in the charities I donate to, or the decisions on what is a worthwhile cause for which to donate time or energy.  This annoying trait has put me in charge of things I would rather not touch. 
It is only this.. submissive drive on which I have little control once it is given.  In fact I tend to be more like a slave in my approach to relationships, so I have to be very careful about who I give that power to because I know how my mind works.
I have very similar behavior on masochism.  I am one, regardless of erotic content, unlike most people I know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

I won't say I have an "off" button, but I can hold my emotions in check very well. I've been accused of being cold and heartless many times, but it is not true. I have feelings, I just don't react to them very often. Most of my actions are governed by reason, not emotion. The only ones I find myself unable to say no to are family, and that only rarely.






I am unfortunately the official family bug dispatcher, splinter remover, and deceased pet mortician. Oh, I should add to my earlier post, if I'm working on a car, I most definitely do display emotion.


_____________________________

This is gonna hurt...

Joseff

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 11:42:56 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		No, there aren't but of course I am pretty young still and have not had very many bdsm relationships or non kinky ones for that matter, and I am sure that if you asked me in another 10 or 12 years my answer may have changed. I am very good at saying no when I need to unless it's something I already want badly, then I can be swayed but people in my life, mainly because there's not that many  respect me enough to not sway me to do things I shouldn't be doing
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Do you have an off button?  Is there something you can flip in your mind that allows you to say no, even when everything inside you resists it?  Are their certain people that can get you to comply no matter how many years have passed?  If you cannot say no even when you know you should, how do you feel later?




(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 11:52:21 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		Your obscure reference pic made me think of Tron. Yours looks more recent than that, though.

To the OP: There's only one person I can think of that I've never refused (even when I wanted to) a request from.

_____________________________



My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to Elipsis)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 1:21:25 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
I definitely have an Off Button.  Except with Sir.  He and I both know that He respects my Hard Limits, so anything else He asks or tells me to do, I will do.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 1:28:25 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Do you have an off button?  Is there something you can flip in your mind that allows you to say no, even when everything inside you resists it?  Are their certain people that can get you to comply no matter how many years have passed?  If you cannot say no even when you know you should, how do you feel later?




I don't call it an off button.

I don't even call myself submissive because there is nothing in me that would submit in the sense that most here would use that word.

However, there are some men in the world...my late husband was one, and over the years I have met one or two more...who, with a single look, have the capability of causing me to back down. Something in me, buried deep, responds to something in them.

It does not bother me. In fact, the few times I have come across someone like that, I feel better about myself than I normally would.

I still would not call it an 'off or on button' though. Personally, I am more inclined to see it as nature asserting itself.
That's just my thoughts on it though.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 3:09:01 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I have a huge no button. There are a very limited number of people who can cause me to overlook it, but then, I have my other half to check with. Anything he doesn't like, the no would stand. No need for guilt.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 3:09:44 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Your obscure reference pic made me think of Tron. Yours looks more recent than that, though.



Nope, not Tron.  Way more obscure, lol.

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 4:00:30 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

Oh, I should add to my earlier post, if I'm working on a car, I most definitely do display emotion.




At the top of your lungs and entirely in four letter words I assume.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 4:14:50 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		I'm learning... and doing quite well.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 4:45:47 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Interesting take on this, as I can relate to the natural response.  There have not been all that many dominants in my life, though I have done this since my virginity was removed.  And of those men with whom I have had relationships, most did not have this effect, when I left them the connection was broken.  I have never had a bad break-up, one where I did not willingly make the step to call things quits.  So it cannot be that the non hostile ending prevented me from every feeling the need to submit to them again.  It was simply that I did not feel that way for some men, the way I had for others.

I don't use the term forever until I feel it click inside me.  It is almost like it is a promise to me, rather than to a man in my life.
Few men have had that promise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

However, there are some men in the world...my late husband was one, and over the years I have met one or two more...who, with a single look, have the capability of causing me to back down. Something in me, buried deep, responds to something in them. 



I still would not call it an 'off or on button' though. Personally, I am more inclined to see it as nature asserting itself.


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 7:43:19 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

Oh, I should add to my earlier post, if I'm working on a car, I most definitely do display emotion.




At the top of your lungs and entirely in four letter words I assume.


I have acheived untold heights in volume, imagination, and eloquence, simply changeing a tire.


_____________________________

This is gonna hurt...

Joseff

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 7:48:39 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		I only have an "off button" if there is an emergency..like physical someones gonna bleed emergency. I am like almost super womanish when it comes to that.

Anything else freaks me out. Yes, miss-badass over here is scared of large bugs, mice, dead animals,taking out the trash...


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 9:07:01 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Do you have an off button?
****Yup, otherwise known as personal responsibility. 

Is there something you can flip in your mind that allows you to say no, even when everything inside you resists it?
****Yes.  It is a matter of self-control.  If I do not resist something, it is because I have chosen not to do so. 

Are their certain people that can get you to comply no matter how many years have passed?
****No, though some present a greater challenge and/or a lesser desire to resist and/or complicated feelings. 

If you cannot say no even when you know you should, how do you feel later?
****I do not have this issue. 
          Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Off button - 9/20/2009 10:40:18 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		yep... that is me, MOST of the time.  Somehow though I have evaded complete detachment from resisting men I have allowed to control me completely.  I envy those that can do that, may you never reach that point of losing your will in favor of someone else.
I missed the mark for at least 2 of the men in my life.
And... though I try to regret it, I can't, everything in me says somethings are just the way they have to be, for me.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Off button - 9/21/2009 5:39:50 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

When it comes to HIM, however, there is only that quiet request of "Please no." It's the best I can do. I did the hard stuff I mentioned above early on, however, and it leaves me quite assured that I have chosen this partner well. I know he may go against every inclination I have, but that he is tracking me and us toward something better and building our bond stronger as he goes. I have never really had a need to say no, just the overwhelming desire to do so, that could only manage to express as a request. I don't know if I can say no to him. So far it doesn't seem so. It's irritating and frustrating, but I guess if I'm honest I wouldn't have it any other way.


I'm like this too.  I can't say 'no' or sometimes I say no then do whatever it is that he wanted me to do.  Once, a while back I was making a zucchini dish thats one of my favorites.  He was on his way out the door to run an errand, and as he was leaving he told me to put some mushrooms in it.  My immediate reaction was a resounding no.  He didn't say anything, but as soon as he was out the door, I got up and started fixing the friggin mushrooms to put in the goddamn zuchinni dish. 

For more important things, I'll shake my head or flap my hands (like when we're playing) to indicate a negative reaction, or say please don't but I almost never refuse even when something's going against my gut.

With others, I have to get permission from Sir, anyway, so its not up to me to decide yes or no.

In the past, before I was with Sir, I had this problem with some people.  But, saying yes never went well.  For me at least.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 36
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Off button Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141