RE: Off button

RE: Off button (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 11:31:12 AM)
I am pretty much Mr Spock in my normal mode. I do not panic in an emergency. Affection is not something I was taught, so for me that has been an adult lesson I made myself adopt until I can be at ease with it. Blood, gore, or desperation from others does not trigger the "help them" gene in me. I am logical in the charities I donate to, or the decisions on what is a worthwhile cause for which to donate time or energy. This annoying trait has put me in charge of things I would rather not touch. It is only this.. submissive drive on which I have little control once it is given. In fact I tend to be more like a slave in my approach to relationships, so I have to be very careful about who I give that power to because I know how my mind works. I have very similar behavior on masochism. I am one, regardless of erotic content, unlike most people I know. quote: ORIGINAL: Joseff I won't say I have an "off" button, but I can hold my emotions in check very well. I've been accused of being cold and heartless many times, but it is not true. I have feelings, I just don't react to them very often. Most of my actions are governed by reason, not emotion. The only ones I find myself unable to say no to are family, and that only rarely.

Joseff -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 11:41:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I am pretty much Mr Spock in my normal mode. I do not panic in an emergency. Affection is not something I was taught, so for me that has been an adult lesson I made myself adopt until I can be at ease with it. Blood, gore, or desperation from others does not trigger the "help them" gene in me. I am logical in the charities I donate to, or the decisions on what is a worthwhile cause for which to donate time or energy. This annoying trait has put me in charge of things I would rather not touch. It is only this.. submissive drive on which I have little control once it is given. In fact I tend to be more like a slave in my approach to relationships, so I have to be very careful about who I give that power to because I know how my mind works. I have very similar behavior on masochism. I am one, regardless of erotic content, unlike most people I know. quote: ORIGINAL: Joseff I won't say I have an "off" button, but I can hold my emotions in check very well. I've been accused of being cold and heartless many times, but it is not true. I have feelings, I just don't react to them very often. Most of my actions are governed by reason, not emotion. The only ones I find myself unable to say no to are family, and that only rarely. I am unfortunately the official family bug dispatcher, splinter remover, and deceased pet mortician. Oh, I should add to my earlier post, if I'm working on a car, I most definitely do display emotion.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 11:42:56 AM)
No, there aren't but of course I am pretty young still and have not had very many bdsm relationships or non kinky ones for that matter, and I am sure that if you asked me in another 10 or 12 years my answer may have changed. I am very good at saying no when I need to unless it's something I already want badly, then I can be swayed but people in my life, mainly because there's not that many respect me enough to not sway me to do things I shouldn't be doing quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Do you have an off button? Is there something you can flip in your mind that allows you to say no, even when everything inside you resists it? Are their certain people that can get you to comply no matter how many years have passed? If you cannot say no even when you know you should, how do you feel later?

hlen5 -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 11:52:21 AM)
Your obscure reference pic made me think of Tron. Yours looks more recent than that, though. To the OP: There's only one person I can think of that I've never refused (even when I wanted to) a request from.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 1:21:25 PM)
~Fast Reply~ I definitely have an Off Button. Except with Sir. He and I both know that He respects my Hard Limits, so anything else He asks or tells me to do, I will do.

IrishMist -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 1:28:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Do you have an off button? Is there something you can flip in your mind that allows you to say no, even when everything inside you resists it? Are their certain people that can get you to comply no matter how many years have passed? If you cannot say no even when you know you should, how do you feel later? I don't call it an off button. I don't even call myself submissive because there is nothing in me that would submit in the sense that most here would use that word. However, there are some men in the world...my late husband was one, and over the years I have met one or two more...who, with a single look, have the capability of causing me to back down. Something in me, buried deep, responds to something in them. It does not bother me. In fact, the few times I have come across someone like that, I feel better about myself than I normally would. I still would not call it an 'off or on button' though. Personally, I am more inclined to see it as nature asserting itself. That's just my thoughts on it though.

mbes -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 3:09:01 PM)
I have a huge no button. There are a very limited number of people who can cause me to overlook it, but then, I have my other half to check with. Anything he doesn't like, the no would stand. No need for guilt.

Elipsis -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 3:09:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hlen5 Your obscure reference pic made me think of Tron. Yours looks more recent than that, though. Nope, not Tron. Way more obscure, lol.

DesFIP -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 4:00:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Joseff Oh, I should add to my earlier post, if I'm working on a car, I most definitely do display emotion. At the top of your lungs and entirely in four letter words I assume.

pyroaquatic -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 4:14:50 PM)
I'm learning... and doing quite well.

Missokyst -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 4:45:47 PM)
Interesting take on this, as I can relate to the natural response. There have not been all that many dominants in my life, though I have done this since my virginity was removed. And of those men with whom I have had relationships, most did not have this effect, when I left them the connection was broken. I have never had a bad break-up, one where I did not willingly make the step to call things quits. So it cannot be that the non hostile ending prevented me from every feeling the need to submit to them again. It was simply that I did not feel that way for some men, the way I had for others. I don't use the term forever until I feel it click inside me. It is almost like it is a promise to me, rather than to a man in my life. Few men have had that promise. quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist However, there are some men in the world...my late husband was one, and over the years I have met one or two more...who, with a single look, have the capability of causing me to back down. Something in me, buried deep, responds to something in them. I still would not call it an 'off or on button' though. Personally, I am more inclined to see it as nature asserting itself.

Joseff -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 7:43:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: Joseff Oh, I should add to my earlier post, if I'm working on a car, I most definitely do display emotion. At the top of your lungs and entirely in four letter words I assume. I have acheived untold heights in volume, imagination, and eloquence, simply changeing a tire.

Sunnyfey -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 7:48:39 PM)
I only have an "off button" if there is an emergency..like physical someones gonna bleed emergency. I am like almost super womanish when it comes to that. Anything else freaks me out. Yes, miss-badass over here is scared of large bugs, mice, dead animals,taking out the trash...

DavanKael -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 9:07:01 PM)
Do you have an off button? **Yup, otherwise known as personal responsibility. Is there something you can flip in your mind that allows you to say no, even when everything inside you resists it? Yes. It is a matter of self-control. If I do not resist something, it is because I have chosen not to do so. Are their certain people that can get you to comply no matter how many years have passed? No, though some present a greater challenge and/or a lesser desire to resist and/or complicated feelings. If you cannot say no even when you know you should, how do you feel later? **I do not have this issue. Davan

Missokyst -> RE: Off button (9/20/2009 10:40:18 PM)
yep... that is me, MOST of the time. Somehow though I have evaded complete detachment from resisting men I have allowed to control me completely. I envy those that can do that, may you never reach that point of losing your will in favor of someone else. I missed the mark for at least 2 of the men in my life. And... though I try to regret it, I can't, everything in me says somethings are just the way they have to be, for me.

gypsygrl -> RE: Off button (9/21/2009 5:39:50 AM)
quote: When it comes to HIM, however, there is only that quiet request of "Please no." It's the best I can do. I did the hard stuff I mentioned above early on, however, and it leaves me quite assured that I have chosen this partner well. I know he may go against every inclination I have, but that he is tracking me and us toward something better and building our bond stronger as he goes. I have never really had a need to say no, just the overwhelming desire to do so, that could only manage to express as a request. I don't know if I can say no to him. So far it doesn't seem so. It's irritating and frustrating, but I guess if I'm honest I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm like this too. I can't say 'no' or sometimes I say no then do whatever it is that he wanted me to do. Once, a while back I was making a zucchini dish thats one of my favorites. He was on his way out the door to run an errand, and as he was leaving he told me to put some mushrooms in it. My immediate reaction was a resounding no. He didn't say anything, but as soon as he was out the door, I got up and started fixing the friggin mushrooms to put in the goddamn zuchinni dish. For more important things, I'll shake my head or flap my hands (like when we're playing) to indicate a negative reaction, or say please don't but I almost never refuse even when something's going against my gut. With others, I have to get permission from Sir, anyway, so its not up to me to decide yes or no. In the past, before I was with Sir, I had this problem with some people. But, saying yes never went well. For me at least.

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