Did I just get old and not realize it?

Did I just get old and not realize it? (Full Version)

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littlesarbonn -> Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 2:39:26 PM)
I was thinking about this the other day because of some events that are going on in my life (nothing bad). I came back to the United States after a bad experience in Korea where my job just stopped paying me but expected me to keep working. If my boss would have been a woman, well, that might have worked, but that wasn't the case. Anyway, I came back to the US, expecting it shouldn't be that hard to find a job. Well, I was wrong. With that, I finally managed to find work, but it will require me to move back to Michigan where I was 3 years ago. I leave next week. But this isn't about that (just wanted to say it, however). It's about what was happening when I was in Michigan. I was there for 8 years working on a Ph.d, and then did some work for a hospital system there. All the time that I was there, I kept thinking to myself how much I wanted to return to California, because that's where some of the greatest bdsm relationships I've ever had took place. And then I got the opportunity to come home and do some grad school back in California (Stockton, actually). Never found a way to plug myself back into that community, almost as if it disappeared and went into hiding. Even my old friends into the scene were somewhat different (or maybe I was; who knows?). So, after returning from Korea, I thought of looking for that scene again, and I never found it. So, I'm going to Michigan, almost as if I feel like I'm leaving something behind, but I'm not sure what it is anymore. So, I'm wondering if I just got older, and that was a life that was open to someone being much younger, or what? Honestly, I'm still not sure what happened, or didn't happen, but it's like I found myself on the outside and wanting to look in, but not even knowing where the window is anymore. Does this make any sense? Anyone else feel this way? Or is this just me and my stuffed animals that feel this way?

RavenMuse -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 2:42:41 PM)
One thing I've learned, never try to revisit the past, it ain't what it used to be... The people have moved on, the places have changed, you have altered both in ways you are aware of and likely in ways you aren't. Doesn't matter where you are you build a future because you can never recreate the past.

Missokyst -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 2:44:13 PM)
You are not alone in this feeling. But I don't think its limited to BDSM. People all over want the young stuff, men, women.. most everyone is out for young flesh. I would venture to say you probably get a lot of this comment... we like you, but you may have too much experience, we don't want you to leave out of dissatisfaction. Nilla, or bdsm.. jobs or romance, once you start getting older it is much more difficult to find what you are looking for.

kallisto -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 2:50:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse One thing I've learned, never try to revisit the past, it ain't what it used to be... 100% on the mark. Couldn't agree more.

littlesarbonn -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 2:51:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst You are not alone in this feeling. But I don't think its limited to BDSM. People all over want the young stuff, men, women.. most everyone is out for young flesh. I would venture to say you probably get a lot of this comment... we like you, but you may have too much experience, we don't want you to leave out of dissatisfaction. Nilla, or bdsm.. jobs or romance, once you start getting older it is much more difficult to find what you are looking for. I don't think it has anything to do with young flesh. Most of my partners have generally been my age or older than me. Never was one to seek out young people with whom I have very little to talk to about.

lateralist1 -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 2:55:09 PM)
Maybe it's time you stopped prevaricating and found the one relationship that will satisfy you for the rest of your life. That's if you are actually submissive rather than just kinky.

littlewonder -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:06:36 PM)
You can't return to your past. It has moved on without you and you need to move on as well. It's all part of growing up, getting older, finding different paths and having new experiences.

Acer49 -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I was thinking about this the other day because of some events that are going on in my life (nothing bad). I came back to the United States after a bad experience in Korea where my job just stopped paying me but expected me to keep working. If my boss would have been a woman, well, that might have worked, but that wasn't the case. Anyway, I came back to the US, expecting it shouldn't be that hard to find a job. Well, I was wrong. With that, I finally managed to find work, but it will require me to move back to Michigan where I was 3 years ago. I leave next week. But this isn't about that (just wanted to say it, however). It's about what was happening when I was in Michigan. I was there for 8 years working on a Ph.d, and then did some work for a hospital system there. All the time that I was there, I kept thinking to myself how much I wanted to return to California, because that's where some of the greatest bdsm relationships I've ever had took place. And then I got the opportunity to come home and do some grad school back in California (Stockton, actually). Never found a way to plug myself back into that community, almost as if it disappeared and went into hiding. Even my old friends into the scene were somewhat different (or maybe I was; who knows?). So, after returning from Korea, I thought of looking for that scene again, and I never found it. So, I'm going to Michigan, almost as if I feel like I'm leaving something behind, but I'm not sure what it is anymore. So, I'm wondering if I just got older, and that was a life that was open to someone being much younger, or what? Honestly, I'm still not sure what happened, or didn't happen, but it's like I found myself on the outside and wanting to look in, but not even knowing where the window is anymore. Does this make any sense? Anyone else feel this way? Or is this just me and my stuffed animals that feel this way? quote: prevaricating I did, and I decided I did not like that feeling so I found myself a very special, very beautiful human being who I will soon hopefully be able to call my own

CaringandReal -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:41:48 PM)
It's hard to say, because I don't know the details of your life or what that state is like, but I think maybe you just outgrew them or expect something different now without realizing that you do. You're certainly not too old. When I did the little socializing I did in the bdsm scene I frequently met people in it who were 10-15 years older than you are now, and they seemed completely integrated into their local communities, whatever those happened to be. Although I remember a couple of older dominants who were annoying, because they kept trying to hit on me even though I told them I was owned, lock stock and barrel. Those annoying aggressive coots pretty much ruined what little postive side I saw to "community socializing" and I've never been back since.

theRose4U -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:42:25 PM)
quote: One thing I've learned, never try to revisit the past, it ain't what it used to be... Amen to this!! I think what you're experiencing is is the breaking of illusion. "Things were so great, happening, cool" and then you grow up, friends move on, things change and it's just never quite the same. the class bully becomes a district attorney that fights for victims rights, the nerd is now rubbing elbows with Bill Gates...stuff changes.

BKSir -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:49:13 PM)
Not just you. I actually said "I've been doing this since before you were born." to a co-worker not long back... The first time you say that and it's true, it's a very very frightening experience. >.<

LotusSong -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:53:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U quote: One thing I've learned, never try to revisit the past, it ain't what it used to be... Amen to this!! I think what you're experiencing is is the breaking of illusion. "Things were so great, happening, cool" and then you grow up, friends move on, things change and it's just never quite the same. the class bully becomes a district attorney that fights for victims rights, the nerd is now rubbing elbows with Bill Gates...stuff changes. I agree with all the above. "Gather ye rosebuds" my friend :)

RavenMuse -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 3:56:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BKSir I actually said "I've been doing this since before you were born." to a co-worker not long back... Not just co-workers, I can and have said that to My girl regarding the lifestyle.... well colour Me ancient! [:o]

theRose4U -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 4:04:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BKSir Not just you. I actually said "I've been doing this since before you were born." to a co-worker not long back... The first time you say that and it's true, it's a very very frightening experience. >.< I had that horrifying experience with one of my great nieces, she found my mom's collection of 78's. The older one (4) brings it up to her and says "grandma are these really big DVD's ?" Her other aunt and I spit our drinks we were laughing so hard.

LadyPact -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 6:28:33 PM)
I do tend to think that I know the feeling. Quick side note. I'm sorry we never got a chance to say hello before your departure.

Andalusite -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 8:09:11 PM)
I'd been pretty much out of the public scene for nearly 4 years, and am just barely delving back into it. I've run into several people I knew from before, and it's fun catching up with each other, but we weren't super-close friends who were hanging out all the time. If anything, the connections seem to be getting a lot deeper this time around. I'm not really sure how to advise you, and I don't know how long it has been since you were out here.

Elipsis -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 8:52:54 PM)
I don't like time very much. I dislike how it works. A necessary evil, I suppose.

Musicmystery -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 8:55:21 PM)
quote: Does this make any sense? Anyone else feel this way? Or is this just me and my stuffed animals that feel this way? Here's your answer.

pompeii -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 8:59:53 PM)
The good thing about BDSM is, when you get old, and your eyes go, it doesn't matter 'cuz you're blindfolded anyway!

stella41b -> RE: Did I just get old and not realize it? (9/16/2009 11:10:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii The good thing about BDSM is, when you get old, and your eyes go, it doesn't matter 'cuz you're blindfolded anyway! ROFL!! Classic!

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