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RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 11:31:48 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after continuing read

That was fuckin' hilarious, how LaT & I both hit on the same point (compatibility) from the opposite specificity (I'm OCD, she's not), nearly simultaneously . . . . . Um, synchronicity is a lovely thing . . . . . .

Pyro -->

. . . . & be nice to Sunnyfey, she probably has just as hard a time puttin' on muscle as you do . . . .

Thishereboi -->

. . . . (Total aside: I'll bet you're still fun . . . . . )

Okay, enough frivolous silliness (for the nonce) . . . . What I really noticed & wanted to say something about is the weight thing . . . .

For me, my weight fluctuates. Quite a bit. I can hydrate & pee off close to 10 pounds in a day, & I go thru phases of putting it on & taking it off, above & beyond that fluid retention thing . . . . . . So, the number I have on my profile, that's a slightly optimistic weight, one I was at a coupla summers ago when I first started hanging out on CM. Last summer I got 20 or 30 pounds over that (much to my displeasure) & since then I've been working at getting back down to a more 'honest' position vis a vis my stated weight on my profile.

Now, misrepresenting one's weight by 50 or 100 or more pounds is one thing, but I have zero expectations about people being within 10 or 20 or even 30 pounds of whatever they have on their profile. & as sweetsub noted, those numbers can look very different on different people who otherwise share height-weight-sex-etc . . . . .

&, lol, like me, I'm sure there's some people out there who have something more like their 'target' weight typed in, rather than the number they're avoiding seeing on the scale . . . . . .

I guess the distinction of import for me is: a certain amount of minor deceit is an expectable human foible kinda thing, major deceit is problematic . . .. . Hard & fast line between the two? . . . . . *shrugs* . . . . We can come up with all kinds of extreme hypotheticals, but rhetorical tricks like that rarely match the complexity & nuance of 'real' people & their interactions . . . .

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 21

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 4:22:49 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Odds are almost zero that I would update my profile information unless something happened to remind me to do so. Then again, I don't use the dating side of this site so it hardly matters whether I update it. If I did "date" here, I'd update it to current information & photo each and every time I started a search for a partner.

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(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 22

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 5:09:41 PM

Elipsis

Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
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I'm sure for at least for some people it's intentional.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 23

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 5:22:03 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I haven't read through my profile in ages. Not sure what all it says and I have to say I don't worry about it. I am one of the least OCD, anal type people you will ever meet (if indeed you ever met me....)

If my current hair colour, weight, age, whatever, is that terribly important to a person.........it's safe to say they are probably not someone I am going to be interested in anyway.

It's all good.

Exactly. If I wanted to market myself like a bumper pack of meat like in the supermarket I'd not only keep my info updated by also add nutritional information, ingredients and a 'sell by' and 'use by' dates...

..however I'm a human being, the profile is a rough guide, it's what I communicate which is the most important and most relevant.

I mean whatever next? Holding a Bible in your left hand, raising your right and swearing an oath when creating a profile here?

Oh please...

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Post #: 24

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 7:27:08 PM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

I update my profile whenever I'm in the mood. Right now I'm in a rather whimsical stage, so I completely rewrote my profile. Oh, the physical description part is the same (I'm gonna lose those extra pounds so I'm not gonna up my weight. lol) but the tone of the real me is different. But isn't it ultimately the tone that is important,not the specific information?

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 25

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 7:30:59 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I don't even look at mine unless I feel like playing with my signature line.

But I used to be at b.com and they updated your age automatically. So I tend to think cme will also.

I also don't care because I'm not here to meet anyone.

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Post #: 26

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 7:41:19 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I'd had an almost blank profile for a bit after I became owned, and was able to get my picture uploaded on this profile (I could only post on one and only upload photos on the other). I decided to update to share a little bit about who I am, after the subject came up in one of the threads here.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 9/14/2009 8:14:08 PM >

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Post #: 27

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 8:30:32 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

If I'm extremely bored I change my info or photo. Otherwise I just can't be bothered since I'm not here to seek a relationship or anything. It's not that big a deal to me.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 28

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/14/2009 9:14:26 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

how do you forget that you're a few years older, look different, etc?

Ah... that's easy: "Plausable Deniability".

Basically, an easy excuse for being less than truthful about yourself, then doin' the old head-slap should it arise... "Oh yeah, I forgot their system doesn't automacially update age. I'm 40, not 35, and have gained a few pounds... created my profile a while ago and just forgot about it. So anyway... when do you wanna fuck?!!"

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Post #: 29

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/15/2009 10:00:10 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I've been on here for years. I didn't realize until you said, specifically, that our ages don't auto update, that mine was off by a year. I suppose I've just absentmindedly kept up with it over the years as I seem to revamp the profile at least once a year. I didn't do it the last update.

Auto update would be a nice little feature.

Master Fire

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(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 30

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/15/2009 10:06:36 AM

oceanwyndsLoves

Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2009
Status: offline

i just update through changing my name.

oceanwynds

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 31

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/15/2009 12:50:44 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

i've been wondering something about the cm profiles i encounter and i'm curious to see if i'm alone in this vain. i recognize our details don't auto update and we're responsible for maintaining them. but the mind boggles how some never get around to adjusting the information when changes take place. i'm not referencing dormant profiles but persons that are active on the site. how do you forget that you're a few years older, look different, etc? i wonder how much is truly absentmindedness versus a desire to seem more appealing to a wider audience.

what are your thoughts?

porcelaine

It is rare that I have seen a profile much over 4 years old, so I would not expect to see much need to change a picture. I do not retain info about profiles as most do not stand out all that much. If one is truly interested in having a lasting RT experience it is in their pest intest to be a current as possible

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(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 32

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/15/2009 1:22:20 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

It is rare that I have seen a profile much over 4 years old, so I would not expect to see much need to change a picture. I do not retain info about profiles as most do not stand out all that much. If one is truly interested in having a lasting RT experience it is in their pest intest to be a current as possible

not everyone wants to stand out either. my profile was once very in depth and offered journal entries that provided insight for a prospective suitor. but i got rid of it all. for me less is more. i have this idea that there's something to be said about cadence and the mating game. no one ever puts things on a silver platter and i'll be darned if i will.

i spent more time replying to men who had little clue about dominance let alone what to do with me. but i responded nonetheless out of courtesy because that's who i am. i'm also biased about the standing out bit. we have some talented people that write well. that doesn't make them any better than the blase one you'd pass over. just more adept at selling themselves.

porcelaine

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Post #: 33

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/15/2009 2:26:50 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

i've been wondering something about the cm profiles i encounter and i'm curious to see if i'm alone in this vain. i recognize our details don't auto update and we're responsible for maintaining them. but the mind boggles how some never get around to adjusting the information when changes take place. i'm not referencing dormant profiles but persons that are active on the site. how do you forget that you're a few years older, look different, etc? i wonder how much is truly absentmindedness versus a desire to seem more appealing to a wider audience.

what are your thoughts?

porcelaine

I often change my profile. But then I often change my hair colour, my knickers and the arrangement of my furniture. It's the gypsy in me.
It is annoying when 'doms' who joined this site over three years ago are switches on their profie and have friends who are into female supremacy...kind of confusing when their journey from sub to dom isn't reflected in what they say about themselves....

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(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 34

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/15/2009 6:53:25 PM

MsPlava

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline

For me the matter of profile updates merely scratches the surface when it comes to "keeping it real". Some are here just to browse...some here aren't quite sure what they want, and some are ready for the real thing. Of course, sometimes circumstances can occur to change people's minds as well, but from what I've seen there are many profiles way off the mark when it comes to being real.

The most important thing I wish people would remember when dealing with others is that there is a REAL PERSON on the other end, with feelings, challenges, goals and dreams of their own. For this reason being honest and forthright about who you are and what you really want (including saying "I don't know") is so important. (Of course a big part of this is taking the time to really know yourself and be honest with YOU first.) It's not a perfect science and sometimes we all make mistakes, but for the most part if people take the approach of being sincere when dealing with others it saves everyone a lot of time and sometimes heartache in the long run.

(Thankfully I don't get asked "wanna fuck", but being begged in the first email to be collared from someone thousands of miles away just might be worse...there's nothing "real" about that at all, it's absurd. Drives me nuts really.)

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 35

RE: Keeping It Real - 9/16/2009 2:54:14 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPlava

The most important thing I wish people would remember when dealing with others is that there is a REAL PERSON on the other end, with feelings, challenges, goals and dreams of their own. For this reason being honest and forthright about who you are and what you really want (including saying "I don't know") is so important. (Of course a big part of this is taking the time to really know yourself and be honest with YOU first.) It's not a perfect science and sometimes we all make mistakes, but for the most part if people take the approach of being sincere when dealing with others it saves everyone a lot of time and sometimes heartache in the long run.

when the emphasis is less on being and becoming and more akin to promoting and acceptance, it is difficult to find reality within those narrow confines. but then again being real isn't pretty either. it isn't bogged down by niceties and small talk or telling people what they want to hear when we feel differently. i've always appreciated a person that was secure enough to be themselves even if that meant they were marching to a different beat. i respected their authenticity more than their need to assimilate. reality shifts and the best ones have learned to flow with the changing tides.

there are moments when i come away from an exchange in a complete haze. as we've all confessed the profile is just that, one hint, a peek if you will. they are composed at different periods in our lives, which i'll term yesterday. today always brings something new and different. but when today no longer resembles the last and i'm still presenting what was, maybe hoping it will be again, i'm really cheating myself in the long run. not knowing is fine, taking a time out is good as well. pretending to be somewhere i've left behind is entirely different. the extent of deviation that is tolerable varies with each reader.

what i have come to see is the idea is often more appealing than the reality. perhaps being here allows the fantasy to play out. one can pretend rather than address what we're really wanting/needing/lacking. in some ways it is sad that we bring unsuspecting strangers into that process under a different guise. i gain a lot from sharing and sincerely appreciate the things i learn from others.

if my intention is to share on a deep intimate level with someone, he should have some idea of who the woman behind the keystrokes is. that begins with the profile and continues with a dialogue that hopefully substantiates and supports those claims, rather than refute them. sending the other party away scratching their head instead and wondering who i really am. a profile can be like a wonderful scent wafting in the air, beckoning someone to come closer to see, taste, and experience. maybe that's undesired or unnecessary for others. or perhaps i see it differently.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to MsPlava)

Post #: 36

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