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Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:03:50 PM

SomethingCatchy

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edited because of content

< Message edited by SomethingCatchy -- 9/3/2009 8:21:56 PM >

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:12:32 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

but is it really horrible that a dominant enjoy pain and that a submissive enjoy giving it?

Nope.

My thoughts?

The ummm..."offended, alpha, if things are not my way then they are the wrong way' man that you were conversing with...is sprouting shit in an effort to make himself look good.

*shrug*

It happens sometimes

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:14:01 PM

aBondageTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I did a search but couldn't find anything relevant.

I just had a disagreement with a man about what a dominant, submissive, masochist, and sadist were. He insisted that you aren't a real dom if you are also a masochist because you're submitting to the person giving the pain. ...

The man I was disagree with insisted I was wrong and that any dom that did that was not real.

Are these things absolute or does it make them a switch even when the two people involved don't feel that they are switching dom/sub roles?

Real? Not real? Why worry about his dogmatic opinions? Just find someone you are compatible with and let him go play with himself.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:16:38 PM

SomethingCatchy

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edited because of content

< Message edited by SomethingCatchy -- 9/3/2009 8:22:15 PM >

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Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:18:47 PM

littlewonder

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What's real for you is real for you. For me I couldn't be with a man who is a masochist. That's what's real for me. What's real for you may be different.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:20:17 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

This disagreement we had makes me wonder if my chances of finding that are incredibly slim.

Not slim; you are just more refined in what you are looking for

In other words...you know what you want and are not willing to settle for less...while he...obviously just wants a 'yes sir' partner without a thinking brain.

Consider yourself lucky that you have high standards and don't let some nitwit try to force you to lower them

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/3/2009 8:24:16 PM

SomethingCatchy

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Just a note that the man I talked to asked me to pull the entire thread down. If a mod would delete it, that would be great. Thank you for the replies, it was helpful though.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 2:29:54 AM

DomImus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Just a note that the man I talked to asked me to pull the entire thread down.

A real dom would have demanded you pull the thread. Tell him that.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 3:01:31 AM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aBondageTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I did a search but couldn't find anything relevant.

I just had a disagreement with a man about what a dominant, submissive, masochist, and sadist were. He insisted that you aren't a real dom if you are also a masochist because you're submitting to the person giving the pain. ...

The man I was disagree with insisted I was wrong and that any dom that did that was not real.

Are these things absolute or does it make them a switch even when the two people involved don't feel that they are switching dom/sub roles?

Real? Not real? Why worry about his dogmatic opinions? Just find someone you are compatible with and let him go play with himself.

quote:

Are these things absolute or does it make them a switch even when the two people involved don't feel that they are switching dom/sub roles?

The only thing that is absolute is that there IS nothing that is absolute. SadoMasho does not imply dominance or submission by either party it is two people getting together to enjoy common interests

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 4:23:31 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Just a note that the man I talked to asked me to pull the entire thread down. If a mod would delete it, that would be great. Thank you for the replies, it was helpful though.

You might want to explain to him that you can't pull a thread once it has been posted. You might get the moderators to do it, but I am not sure how that works.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 5:01:57 AM

angelikaJ

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To the OP:
You asked a valid question and I am not sure what prompted you to attempt to delete your original post.
Asking it was not disrespectful to the other party, IMO.

Our relationship with pain is very individual.

There are people who enjoy receiving pain.
It does not matter what side of the kneel they are on. They either like the intensity of the sensation, they like the catharsis it can bring, they like the effects of the endorphins or any number of other personal reasons.

There are submissives who hate pain but who pair up with masochists and endure pain for the sake of their partner.
There are submissives who love pain.
Pain is erotic to them.
They are not necessarily less submissive than the ones who abhor it.
Some submissives love the way the endorphins make them fly and want enough pain to get them there and keep them there for awhile.
Someone could view that as not being submissive at all.

There are D/s relationships that do not incorporate pain play at all.

For me, the roles of submission and dominance are defined by the specific relationship and not by activities on a check list.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 5:17:08 PM

softness

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I know both submissives with sadistic streaks and Dominants with masochistic ones. Anyone questioning their right to call themselves either Dominants or submissives would be a fool.

I am a submissive and a servant. In the past I have also Topped. I have enjoyed chasing the high of delivering pain, just as I relish the high of receiving pain. I do not have a *need* to be sadistic in the same way as I have a *need* to be masochistic, it's just nice to try from time to time. It was appropriate with the person I was with at the time and we found it mutually enjoyable - it didn't need to be more complicated than that.

One confusion that often occurs is that by bottoming you make yourself lower than the person Topping. This isn't necessarily the case. In a situation where the dynamic is purely Top/bottom there doesn't actually have to be all that much authority transfer or power exchange. If the situation is one which involves a D/s dynamic then that is different.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 8:31:59 PM

antipode

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quote:

Just a note that the man I talked to asked me to pull the entire thread down. If a mod would delete it, that would be great. Thank you for the replies, it was helpful though.

Report the thread, with that request, and that'll get to a mod.

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RE: Sadism and Masochism - 9/4/2009 9:28:26 PM

catize

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It has nothing to do with dominance or submission.
Pain is simply a sensation. I am a masochist; I understand that pain can enhance one’s sexual arousal. So why wouldn’t I want to give my dominant partner that pleasure if he desires it?
When R. tells me to create that sensation for him he is still very much in control. After all, he is giving me an order and I am obeying him; that specific order does not change our dynamic at all.
It is a win/win scenario when he does give me that command. He knows that I am sweating bullets, worried that I will mess up and give him ‘bad’ pain. So he gets a sadistic kick out of my anxiety at the same time he indulges his masochism. It’s pretty funny, actually!

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