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How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 7:24:45 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		We recently received an email from a Dom that wanted only to be with me and let me do whatever I wished with Slave after.  The reply I sent back was that we were looking for different things and good luck in his search.  Little did I know that was going to start him on a rampage.  I admit, it was not my finest moment when after one huffy and one very abusive email later telling me how I missed out because he was so rich he was flying to London tonight and had a house on a Jackson Hole mountain top calling me such things as a loser, I shot back that his money did not make him any less repugnant and blocked him from ever contacting us again.

I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction?  I know that not everyone takes rejection well, but I would like to know if something I said would inspire the same reaction in everyone I or we reject.

Lady
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 7:41:10 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		No. There are some that will not be gracious, they will tell you you "are ugly anyway" or play the  "you're fat" card. Block and delete. Hes a wanker. Move on.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 7:42:17 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave
I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction?


Anything is possible so I would say, yes... probably so.




_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 8:07:17 PM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction?  I know that not everyone takes rejection well, but I would like to know if something I said would inspire the same reaction in everyone I or we reject.

Lady



No, that would make you responsible for his response. And you are not, he is. His response says a lot about him, not you. Even if your 'no' was phrased in a way he didn't like, it's his choice to respond the way he did.

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 8:52:45 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Who cares?

If he's capable of such a reaction, he's an idiot.  Worry about dealing with the sane people, not what you could have done to make an idiot happy.

And once you block him... start looking ahead, not behind.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 8:59:07 PM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline 		Oh boy, let me tell you about the winner I had just yesterday! Gently scolded him for 1) not reading My profile, and 2) questioning Me about My stated age (which is correct). He proceeds to call Me names and say all kinds of unlovely things, and when I blocked him, he made another profile and called Me more names from that one. One of them was was even female (the profile, I mean) and they were from different countries, like that was supposed to confuse Me or something. Of course, I declined to respond to these, and after the fifth or sixth fake profile, he got bored and went away (WIN).  

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 9:08:57 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Some people just have a lot of growing up to do. Honestly, if I'm ever rejected, I go away and would see no reason to ever communicate with the person again. But people who get rejected, or dismissed, unfortunately don't always handle it the same way. And it doesn't matter what gender, or even whether one is dominant or submissive. People overreact in lots of different ways and can be very childish over some of the most ridiculous thnigs.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 9:15:46 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I probably would of said that his maturity level is a turnoff and the mention of funds shows the level of intelligence as well (as if I am impressed by someone having 2 cents more than me).

Of course I would block and delete him as well. I am evil that way to doms who don't acknowledge switches having a mind of their own.

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 9:35:38 PM   
LilMichele


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline 		Eh...just had someone give me a hard time about stating my weight, while his profile says he's 99.  Now I KNOW I'm telling the truth, perhaps he is, and if so that's great I hope that when I reach 99 I'm still trolling for...whatever...on the internet.  Something tells me he's a little younger, though.  I like what happylittlepet said about not being in control of his responses, and what Dark Steven said. You blocked him  you're looking forward. 

I have to go now, I'm hopping my private jet to France to visit Prince Harry, he likes the chubby girls, and after that I'm returning to my home in....um...some really nice place with lots of trees. 

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/2/2009 10:20:15 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The best thing to do is not worry about the sensitive one's because you can't stop them from trying to bash you. You block out their words and block them. I have been overly nice, nice, firm, polite, very firm and not so polite to down right putting my gutter mouth to work. It doesn't matter. They will do what they want. In rejection of them and what they want or not providing pictures or humiliation or whatever.

You get to the point where you laugh and move on. At first you can be sensitive about it... but it's not worth it. Wait till they find out you post on the message boards and come stalking you here! Now that is always fun! lol

Every once in a while we have threads you can vent on... as long as you don't name names and aren't whining, but really laughing at the omg, freaky people doing freaking things. When you see a thread.. what have you gotten in your email today... you know it's going to be a funny one!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LilMichele)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 7:58:17 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		FR

Let me translate for you :

You're fat - I am so vain you would grow to hate me in a few months like the last one.

You're ugly - We were never going to meet anyway because my pic is of my second cousin who is an athlete, I am really a fat old Man who only fantasises about this shit anyway.

You're missing out - I can't remember the last time I had sex.

I got money - This is the cheapest way for me to express my ignorance, can you spare five bucks for a pack of smokes ?

I'll be jetting off to _______ for vacation - I'll be making a new profile so I can needle you a bit for hurting my delicate ego, but as soon as I get up the money for that passport I'll be the catch of all time. Got any frequent flier miles ?

I'm free to go wherever, I am independently wealthy - I just lost my job at McD's and am about to get thrown out on the street.

I live in a big mansion - One room of it for $25 a week.
With a dungeon - I said I could fix plunbing and they asked me to look in the basement for a leak. I screwed up the wiring.
Overlooking a lake - It was about to be condemnned anyway.

I am extremely resourceful - Don't leave your purse or wallet in plain sight.

I have a big car - It doesn't run and I can't afford to fix it.

I don't come to you, you come to Me - I need to use your car to apply for welfare.

Now armed with this handy guide, you should be able to handle these minor annoyances more effectively. And some people wonder why they keep me around :-)

T

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 8:21:33 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Nice Termy!  I loved it!

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 8:27:02 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave
The reply I sent back was that we were looking for different things and good luck in his search. 

I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction? 

Lady


You cant get much more polite than "We are looking for different things." So, in all likelihood, he was going to be upset no matter what you said other than "sure, come on over." Dominants seem to occasionally have a bit of a problem with entitlement, thinking just because they ask they deserve to have their desires granted. I get offers alot from gentlemen like that, who want to help me expore a sub side with them, but who would allow me to keep Fox.

They get huffy even when I am polite. This type of thing is the reason a lot of people stop sending responses. No matter what you say, they are going to get nasty. My suggestion, dont worry about it. If you are saying no, then anything after that is useless correspondance. Dont worry about what it says, since it has no impact on you and yours. Delete it unread if you are concerned about it.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 8:29:15 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		The only weapon a person like this has is words.
You are possibly the first woman he's managed to get a conversation with for some time and he blew it! and so now he's thowing a few sticks and stones.
Ignore and laugh him off... He's a dick.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 9:13:11 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Money.  What does it buy?

Now if he said- I have my life savings in a stack of silver- THEN you would be missing something.

love can not be forced or imposed.   If I put a gun to your head and demand you to love me- it is real? 

No.   It is forced.   Forced love is-   well- hire an actress- 

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 9:20:50 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

FR

Let me translate for you :

You're fat - I am so vain you would grow to hate me in a few months like the last one.

You're ugly - We were never going to meet anyway because my pic is of my second cousin who is an athlete, I am really a fat old Man who only fantasises about this shit anyway.

You're missing out - I can't remember the last time I had sex.

I got money - This is the cheapest way for me to express my ignorance, can you spare five bucks for a pack of smokes ?

I'll be jetting off to _______ for vacation - I'll be making a new profile so I can needle you a bit for hurting my delicate ego, but as soon as I get up the money for that passport I'll be the catch of all time. Got any frequent flier miles ?

I'm free to go wherever, I am independently wealthy - I just lost my job at McD's and am about to get thrown out on the street.

I live in a big mansion - One room of it for $25 a week.
With a dungeon - I said I could fix plunbing and they asked me to look in the basement for a leak. I screwed up the wiring.
Overlooking a lake - It was about to be condemnned anyway.

I am extremely resourceful - Don't leave your purse or wallet in plain sight.

I have a big car - It doesn't run and I can't afford to fix it.

I don't come to you, you come to Me - I need to use your car to apply for welfare.

Now armed with this handy guide, you should be able to handle these minor annoyances more effectively. And some people wonder why they keep me around :-)

T

LMAO

*nods in agreement with everything said *

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 9:23:05 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IHu8RSSCvE   Give me his phone number!!!

I have a message for him.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 9:28:06 AM   
SirLost


Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline 		You have just done the kindest thing. Many people avoids sending a "Thanks but no thanks" reply in order not to lose their time and to prevent the probability of getting "u r a fucking bitch", "u missed me out lol" style reply. There's no time and need to be sensitive on insisting men, you can never make everyone happy.

_____________________________

The best respect is the one that's gained even after they learn your weaknesses.

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 9:38:39 AM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
Money. What does it buy?

Lots of things, security, freedom from the office, dual function electrical items, uncomfortable fast cars, comfortable slow cars, big houses with a separate bathroom for the pets.

But it don't buy class! Nouveau riche indeeed!


_____________________________

Memory Lane...been there done that.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to handle rejection - 9/3/2009 9:40:33 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Money. What does it buy?
Now if he said- I have my life savings in a stack of silver- THEN you would be missing something.

love can not be forced or imposed.   If I put a gun to your head and demand you to love me- it is real? 

No.   It is forced.   Forced love is-   well- hire an actress- 




Money can't buy you love, but it can buy a whole lotta shit that looks enough like it, that you needn't be concerned with the difference.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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