RE: Inspiration Question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Inspiration Question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Inspiration Question

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/28/2009 6:25:41 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

im sure people inspire people all over the place all day long. so why not here where our fantasies meet reality and our energy for this is so strong.

ive been told that simply to have a slave knelt naked infront of them inspires all sorts of feelings, desires and needs that with anyone else could not possibly be expressed right then, right there in that moment.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/28/2009 1:34:49 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I've noticed that it is fairly common to see a submissive represent that they are, or were, "inspired" to submit within their relationship dynamic. Appreciating that many of us dominants are very inspirational, is it wrong to assume that submissives aren't similarly inspirationally endowed?

It got me wondering if there is a similar inspiration occurring on the other side of the flogger.

Does any dominant represent that their dominance was/is "inspired" by their partner?

As a result, would that point to an inherent dominance awakened by the partner, or is it person specific?

Do you, or your partner, have any concern that your dominance could wane over time?

Is the dominance an 'act' or does it flow from the inspiring source?

Lacking the triggering 'inspiration' what do you think would happen if the relationship ended?

I think you're describing your basic D/s dynamic; just clouding it with the word "inspiration"....

I'm just your average nilla fella around nilla women but it takes a (female) submissive to fire my dominant needs and passions. But ok, I s'pose "inspired" works, too....

I think any relationship requires mutual work and committment etc but there's no doubt (IMO) that longevity and familiarity etc takes the edge off passion and hunger = "wane". Just another problem to work at....

My dominance is not an act, but it does require the right type of woman (sub) to fire it - otherwise it's more a source of frustration. Obviously that can be defined as a trigger and I've lived too many years to know I won't consider a relationship anymore with a partner who lacks that necessary triggering 'inspiration'.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/28/2009 2:30:55 PM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

I can only speak to the submissuve side of the relationship. My Lady does many things for me, but I've never thought that inspiration to submit was one of them. Somehow that word doesn't feel right. I respect her tremendously, love her completely, happily submit to her .... but inspired?L No.

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/28/2009 3:38:39 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Will answer in the box:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Does any dominant represent that their dominance was/is "inspired" by their partner?
Usually this has not been my experience whilst in the dynamic. Sadly that comment, or sentiments like it, have come AFTER I have released myself. It's almost as if once the dynamic is over then my ex() have 'let on' they were inspired by me. Comments like (hope this doesn't sound disigenuous): you are an awesome slave, I need yoy still, you taught me so much......). It's almost like there was ride and pride got in te way of stating this during the dynamic.

As a result, would that point to an inherent dominance awakened by the partner, or is it person specific?
I've no way of knowing if i made a person feel more dominant...each relationship was unique but I have often had the impression that I was being given what they thought I wanted...like service rather than simple domination.

Do you, or your partner, have any concern that your dominance could wane over time?
----

Is the dominance an 'act' or does it flow from the inspiring source?
-----.

Lacking the triggering 'inspiration' what do you think would happen if the relationship ended?
I have feeling that ex's feel they have lost face.
Don't know if this answers the questions sorry.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/28/2009 9:57:50 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

My submissive inclinations are always there, but it takes someone in particular to inspire me to actively submit to him in particular rather than any dominant out there.

Yes, I think the dominance and submission in a ds relationship wanes over time, or at the least, ebbs and flows, as long as we are talking about human beings.

If the hypothetical relationship ended, I'd still be of the submissive pursuasion, I just wouldnt be involved in a power exchange relationship until I found another partner with whom I wanted to engage.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/28/2009 10:05:40 PM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

I think, as an s-type that inspiration is one of the most important things, its like charisma or awe, its that extra zing that you need. There are domineering and indeed dominant people all around all the time but its like incompatibility on the right level, like some people like tomatoes or beans. I do not think te dominant needs to be more inspiring than anyone else they simply have to be inspiring to me, and I found out the hard way without that there is nothing.

I agree with that wholeheartedly.

I find that I clash with some Dominant types. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. Yet every once in awhile there is just that someone whose intelligence and other attributes I admire greatly. Then the desire to submit in ways I haven't yet before builds in me.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/29/2009 7:16:07 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Interesting question Merc,

I am Dominant by nature, no mask just who I am. It has shown though My private life, My work life and of course in the commonly understood within kink circles Dominant within an emotional/sexualy/kink play relationship context.

However, most subs don't catch My interest. I'm not even refering to those whom I'd find it hard to see them as the lable they apply to themself. I know plenty of lovely submissive women whom I count as friends but whom I am not drawn to control/head fuck/beat/toy with/protect/Dominate.

Why?

I'd normaly put it down to 'chemistry'... but what is chemistry if it doesn't include the ability to inspire the other?

I don't create the submission in My girl but I do inspire it. It is already there but who I am activates it like a key that opens the door to its cage. Likewise she inspires the coresponding part of Me. That inner beast wakes upon smelling its favorate prey, rouses from its slumber and begins to stalk her.

What is inherent doesn't wax or wane, however its expression will do so. We are not in isolation, the rest of the world needs dealing with too. But it is always there, sometimes expressed subtly, little touches on the tiler when life is busy... waiting for when time can be found for more.

The 'trigger' is who the two people are, at core, their very nature.... the only way that can then be lacking is if one or other was just an act (Something some find when they go from weekend playpartner to 24/7.... it is easy to put on a mask for a short time but it can't work when there is no time off.... the mask always slips!) or if the time isn't made, effort isn't put in.... the two people haven't changed but they can disapear under a stifiling blanket of complacency.

Other than that, I can see the trigger changing and evolving... but not 'vanishing'.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/29/2009 12:29:56 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
...Appreciating that many of us dominants are very inspirational, is it wrong to assume that submissives aren't similarly inspirationally endowed?

Good question. I definitely feel inspired by my sub partners. I wouldn't say that my dominance is entirely inspired by them, but it is influenced.
Hell, when I was 18 or 19 I didn't even know I could have a relationship like this. (small town, pre-internet) So once I discovered that I could, that was pretty inspiring.

quote:

Does any dominant represent that their dominance was/is "inspired" by their partner?
As a result, would that point to an inherent dominance awakened by the partner, or is it person specific?

Not exactly. It was obvious that I was always a free range pervert. And I always wanted to do things my way.

Now - those two things don't necessarily equate to dominance.

For instance, my main strategy for having things my own way was (at first) to learn to do almost everything myself, to not go into debt, to own my own house, etc. and to basically try to be as independent as possible.

But (again) , dominance seems to make the most sense as a way of balancing those two things that I mentioned above.

Having had several happy D/s relationships inspired me to think that I could be pretty good at it; as long as I crafted it to fit my style and found compatible partners.

But it did also inspire me to branch out and try new things.
This includes adding new social skills, and even in polite society I find some of the things that I've thought about as a result of "dominance theory" (if you will- that's making it sound like more than it probably is, but oh well) have been useful and I've incorporated them.

quote:

Do you, or your partner, have any concern that your dominance could wane over time?

I don't think it will, but it isn't something that worries me because it's just not anywhere on the scale of things to worry about.
If that ever happened and it was a problem, I feel like I could solve for that problem (or at least work with it.)

quote:

Is the dominance an 'act' or does it flow from the inspiring source?

Being an (at least somewhat) independent-minded freak is not an act.
I think I've learned to identify as a dominant, even when I don't have a submissive partner, because that paradigm has given shape to my dreams and aspirations for quite some time now.
It seems a good fit for attaining what I want.
I wouldn't necessarily say that it's immutable, though.

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 8/29/2009 12:38:58 PM >

_____________________________

...YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY PORK CHOPS!
- - - - - - -
"....(somewhere) therein lies the truthiness..."
~*~*~*~*
http://www.myspace.com/crocusofiron

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/29/2009 1:30:59 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I can only speak of myself. Dominance is a natural part of my nature which was triggered at an early age by being educated and trained to be a leader and Master of my own destiny. BDSM wise it came later in life but i came into a greater realization when I was introduced into the Gorean Lifestyle.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Inspiration Question - 8/29/2009 11:55:54 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If you didn't need some sort of inspiration, then wouldn't you try to dominate everyone? Including your boss and the police officer who stops you for speeding? Your mother when she doesn't like your new haircut, etc?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Profile

Post #: 30