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meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:47:49 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		is it just me or is it like insanely difficult to meet someone? it seems anyone who seems somewhat interested lives too far away and anyone who lives in my area aren't interested. should i continue looking or what?

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your living nightmare
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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:50:46 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Faded

It IS hard, I can go months and months without speaking to anyone I am remotely interested in, you haven't really been here long, and from what little I know of your posts you are very much finding your way. We have all been there.

Have you looked up local munches? It is a great way to make friends in 'real life' and boost your confidence.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to fadedshadow)
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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:52:19 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		And, um, didn't you basically get propositioned by a femdom or two on the boards already?  If you didn't make the drive, well, that's on you.

It takes real work to move from online to real.  If you don't put in the effort, you won't get the payoff.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:53:01 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i really don't know if there are any munches in my area. if there are, i have no way to find out about them =/

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your living nightmare

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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:54:01 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

And, um, didn't you basically get propositioned by a femdom or two on the boards already?  If you didn't make the drive, well, that's on you.

It takes real work to move from online to real.  If you don't put in the effort, you won't get the payoff.



i really haven't the money to make the trip, but oh well

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your living nightmare

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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:54:28 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

i really don't know if there are any munches in my area. if there are, i have no way to find out about them =/


Google it hun, I live in the back of beyond and there are munches near me (mind Britain is inherently kinky)

Red does make a good point, sometimes you do have to put yourself out there

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to fadedshadow)
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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:55:51 PM   
traceoflace


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/26/2009
Status: offline 		Finding the right person for you is like waiting for christmas.  You still have to get through those 364 other days of the year.  Some of those days will be better then others.   I would suggest you read my most recent journal entry.  While you are waiting...WORK ON YOURSELF.  Take a hard look at yourself and try to imagine what would make you a better person and more attractive to your future mate.  If you feel you need to improve your physical looks, then join the gym etc.  Take a night class here or there etc.  He will come eventually... you must make sure you are ready when he does.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:56:09 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i know red makes a good point...i wish i was able to travel, it sucks

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your living nightmare

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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:57:38 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

i know red makes a good point...i wish i was able to travel, it sucks


How far CAN you travel? Work that out and then you have an area, it won't fall in your lap, I know that the first time is scary too, which is why I recommend the munches

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 6:58:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The should you continue looking is something only you can answer.  It's been a whole four months.  Would you give up looking for a vanilla partner that quick?




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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 7:01:46 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i could travel maybe a radius of 30-40 miles, the fact that my family's against all this doesn't make it any easier so i would have to make sure they don't notice. what a pain

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your living nightmare

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RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 7:02:47 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The should you continue looking is something only you can answer.  It's been a whole four months.  Would you give up looking for a vanilla partner that quick?



i may take a hiatus but not quit

_____________________________

your living nightmare

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 7:05:09 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

i could travel maybe a radius of 30-40 miles, the fact that my family's against all this doesn't make it any easier so i would have to make sure they don't notice. what a pain


Ok so there are obstacles but you know what they are. I am sorry about your family, I imagine that is hard. I am with Pact though, four months is nothing at all, I think that you are wobbling for a different reason. What good will leaving do?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 7:52:46 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i guess leaving won't do any good, but what do you mean by wobbling?

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 7:57:25 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		If you have to do the meeting online, it's easier on some sites than on others. It varies for people. I find this site extremely hard to meet anyone on. I've had much better luck other places. Try lots of them! There are some very really interesting "dating" sites out there, some with demographics that might suit you better.

What people are saying about it taking a long time is also true. It's certainly been my experinece. But what can you do? If you give up and don't try you'll never find someone unless you have impossibly good luck and bump into them under a ladder. So you just keep trying. It probably takes a little luck, I expect. But you can't order luck to come at your beck and call. All you can do is get in the queue and cross your fingers that it moves fast.

When I get really tired of it all, I like to think about what they say at end of almost every Gankutsuou (anime) episode... "Wait...and Hope!" For some reason that makes me feel better. :)

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 8:00:18 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Real time circles are going to be better resources. I got opportunities to play just by BEING at my local dungeon. People saw me play with one person and offered to play with me also. I got to sit and have some very interesting conversations from people who have been around for a VERY long time and had a great deal of respectability behind them. I got to share some of my background with some who were just venturing into the waters. All of these things were great for me! There are no particularly close local munches, but I try to make the club about every month if I can. There's no pressure to play, just go and have a good time, make friends, and learn what really gets your motor running. Save up for that one nice night and have your plans in place (including the why and where if you still have to report such to the folks). There are ways, but it takes some level of motivation. CM certainly shouldn't be your only means of meeting someone, though I am pretty happy with the catch I made here!

lovingpet

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 8:00:48 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		wobbling, shaky whatever

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 8:29:50 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		lovingpet, do you know of any other means for me to try?

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 8:34:26 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		You really will have to look this information up for yourself. It can be googled most likely. I know there is a very active scene in Chicago, but I have no idea how close that is to you or what else there is in your area.

lovingpet

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: meeting people - 8/14/2009 8:42:18 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		chicago's pretty far, i don't think i'll have a chance to go there

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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