DedicatedDom40
Posts: 350
Joined: 9/22/2005
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This is commentary I found while back while wandering around a stripclub website. While I will not paint all strippers with a broad brush, I do think he accurately pins the tail on the prospects of dating most women with a stripper history and mentality.
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I read a post the other night here about a guy who went to buy flowers for a dancer, ask her to dinner, etc. Although this may not be a popular post with these guys, I just thought I would share a perspective from the other side of the equation, that of a bar employee. I am not trying to start a flamewar, just sharing. Here goes:
A little background is in order. As a younger man (22), I worked in several topless bars as a bouncer while I went to college in Colorado and Texas. From there I worked as a bar back, then up to bartender eventually. I got out of the business about four years ago (I am now 31), so I have had an opportunity to interact directly (much to my peril) with several hundred dancers, their significant others, and their regulars. During the course of this wonderful journey, I have made a few observations, and will share them with you here. Although there are exceptions to every rule, there are some basic patterns that repeat themselves for all eternity.
First, you have the RIL (Regular In Love, I am adding my own acronyms now). The RIL is a nice guy, probably too nice, who does not have a wife or girlfriend usually, and has mistaken a dancer for a suitable relationship target. The RIL brings flowers, buys laps to the exclusion of other dancers, invites her to dinner, and takes her shopping. The dancer may even let the RIL take her to a concert or something. However, the RIL will not get laid, or become a boyfriend. To the dancer, he is a "moneyman", a finite resource of cash and favors that will wear out eventually (either because the relationship does not progress for the RIL and he gets frustrated or another dancer catches his eye). Other dancers do not get *jealous* when a moneyman gets "stolen" by another dancer, they get *pissed off* because they are losing money, not because they care about you. When a RIL brings flowers (for example), everyone on the staff laughs and goes "another sucker". The dancer will pitch them when she goes backstage or will give them to her boyfriend. Same with cards and letters. The dancer will string the RIL out just as long as he keeps dishing money and doesn’t become too annoying, always promising they will go out sometime or whatever, never delivering the goods. One way to know you have crossed over into RIL territory is when the dancer starts hustling you for "car repair money" or whatever else her current con is, or asks you for loans. Run, do not walk to the nearest exit.
Want to know if a dancer really likes you? She will take you home and bang you, usually the first night you meet her. She will buy beers for you when you come into the club and pursue an encounter. You will feel like a hunted animal, as dancers are not shy about taking what they want. Normally, you have to be in a local rock band or look like Mel Gibson to qualify for this treatment. But if you, Mr. Average-Joe-On-The-Street, are doing the pursuing, you’re already dead. Save yourself the time, money, and embarrassment. Dancers will not decide a month down the road you are wonderful and start dating you, they will decide 5 seconds after they meet you, and this is the one thing that most RIL’s can’t get through their heads. They think if they keep at it long enough, eventually they will win her over. Never happens.
If you *really* want to score with dancers, just work at a club. For some retarded reason, the dancer’s consider the help their personal sextoys. Ask any bouncer (who doesn’t look like Quasimodo) and he will tell you he has banged at least half the chicks in the place. They will actually *fight* over the help, and the help doesn’t even have to be cute. And truly, I can not explain why (as bouncers have no money whatsoever and are usually macho jerks, myself included), other than as men, the help is on a different footing with the dancers than the RIL’s are. For one, they are "in on the joke" that the customers are sheep to be fleeced and discarded (it’s hard to have respect for a sukka, no?). Also, the bouncers know the truth about the dancers, whether they have boyfriends, who they have banged, etc., while the RIL’s only know the fake personas, and any relationship based on lies can not succeed. A dancer can be open and honest with the help, and honesty builds trust and affection. Strange but true. The good news is that clubs are always hiring, as they have a very transient workforce. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Also, many of you are overlooking TPT (The Painful Truth), which is that if you pursue a dancer, by some act of God you might actually CATCH HER. Not a good idea, let me share why….I *married* one. We worked together at a club, started dating, got married, had kids. Here’s the rub: they never get the "dancer mentality" out of their heads. For all eternity, they think that they can wiggle their butts and strangers will throw $100 bills at them. Try supporting a dancer who is used to making $1500 a week when she isn’t cute enough to work anymore and you make $400 a week (with two kids). Any normal job is of no interest to them when compared with the dancer cashflow (trying getting them to waitress or something, woo woo woo). Try explaining what a budget is to someone who hasn’t even filed taxes in her adult life (most dancers do not exist to the IRS, most clubs care less about filing paperwork, and dancers that do almost never claim tips). Add that to the fact that most dancers are sluts, and you are in for a crappy life. My credit may always be fucked up, it is like living with a total retard. Sure, if you buy a Ferrari, you will have a lot of fun driving it and rubbing it with a diaper. For the first few months. But five years down the road, when the novelty has worn off and you are staring those $1000 a month payments in the face, you will be poor, it will be leaking oil all over your driveway, and you will be eating Big Macs in it and not care if the "special sauce" gets all over the seats. And you will wish you had got a Chevy instead, something reliable and inexpensive, that works hard and that you can count on. I am just starting to get my life financially unfucked, and that had to be done by tearing up all her credit cards and taking her name off all the checking accounts. I hand her a cash allowance every day, and no matter how much I give her, $2 or $200, it is unappreciated and gone by the end of the day. And it is never enough….nothing is good enough. I would spare you all this fate.
Wanna find a suitable woman who won’t make you crazy? Try joining a club that has something to do with what you like to do, as that is the key to happiness….finding someone with common interests. Or church even (at least that will lessen the probability of finding your wife riding the mailman). Leave the strip clubs to their true purpose: to entertain us, not to serve as a dating service. I look at dancers like R-rated hookers: a little bump and grind to distract me from a crappy day. I pay for the priviledge of getting butt-buffed by a professional and having the added bonus of not having to call, interract, understand or care about their feelings or anything they say or do. I bring maybe $40 with me and never go more than a couple times a week. I never hang around specific dancers so that none of them get the impression I am "their" regular, and avoid sitting and chatting, just get laps if I feel like it and watch the carnage from afar. I rotate the clubs I go to so that I am not in the same one often enough to get labeled a "regular" or know the bouncer by name. I could care less who the dancers are or what they are thinking, I could care less what their names are…I just want to see their butts and forget about my problems for a few hours. Then I get up and go home. Since I adopted this policy, I am a lot richer and a lot happier. Dancers can make you nuts, and the guys who blow their paychecks on them really need a wakeup call. Don’t be a RIL, the bank account you save could be your own!
Fusion
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Marrying a stripper? - 
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. Getting thrown out of a strip club is a lot of laughs when you're with the right friends. At least it was when I was younger and thought everything was funny. Ah, the memories. 
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