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Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 2:45:48 PM   
SaintX


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		I am 20 years old and new to this site. To all helping men and women feedback would be nice, am I to young for a male to be recognized on this site? Its a whole different world for 20 year old females then it is for 20 year old males. I'm not 14, not immature, and certainly not unintellectual. Any thoughts? 
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 2:50:15 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		You will find that [pulling rough number out of a hat...hmm] 8 times out of 10, substance will trump chronology if you have what the other person seeks.


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I know they're all insane
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(in reply to SaintX)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 2:54:24 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		But no one will ever know with an empty profile.

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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 2:57:51 PM   
VanityFix


Posts: 141
Joined: 7/20/2009
Status: offline 		im 22, 20 isnt too young at all (18+ site and all), sure the boards are populated mostly by an older crowd but there are plenty of young people on this site, welcome to CM. i also get the idea of a different world for young 20ish guys than girls, but as an alternitive lifestyle board such a issue should not be much of a problem here, enjoy your stay

(in reply to SaintX)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:02:46 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		It depends on how you come across.  If you act like you're mature, people will treat you that way.

There have been some immature fools in their fifties and sixties on these boards.  And there are some like SunnyFey and LillyoftheValley that are in their early twenties but get the respect they deserve.


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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:03:21 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Us young-ums are dumb ones. Welcome to the forums.

It is a different world-yes-but has basic roots in relationship building just like any other vanilla relationship. Communication, trust, honesty, transparency, clarity... these are all wonderful things.

(in reply to VanityFix)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:10:58 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
You will find that [pulling rough number out of a hat...hmm] 8 times out of 10, substance will trump chronology if you have what the other person seeks.

.... and those other 2 times? That was handy to identify the fools so you that you can avoid them in the future. I tend to side with those who are really right as opposed to those who looked really wise and sagely while being wrong.

Saint: I have to assume that among dominants, some like them young and some like them old. People's preferences generally tend to be all over the map. So it isn't going to be your age that matters, it's going to be what comes out of your keyboard.

One of the most useful "tips" I ever read on collarme (and I wish I remember who wrote this to give credit), is that you do way better when you speak from personal fact rather than spinning BDSM theories. That takes a lot of the conflict out of discussions because if I write a response along the lines of "... Well, for Carol and I, we work that thing out this way..." then it is simply a statement of fact. The reader can decide how appropriate that fact is to their own personal situation.

Oh... and welcome to collarme!

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:24:03 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		I think maturity and sensibility matter more than age.  Like DarkSteven says:  "There have been some immature fools in their fifties and sixties on these boards.  And there are some like SunnyFey and LillyoftheValley that are in their early twenties but get the respect they deserve."  :) 


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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:46:48 PM   
Lostkitten3


Posts: 179
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		I have a younger Dom and adore and respect him because he is adorable and respectable. Being younger has nothing to do with it.

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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:46:53 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
You will find that [pulling rough number out of a hat...hmm] 8 times out of 10, substance will trump chronology if you have what the other person seeks.


True to a point, imo.  I think that most people have a point beyond which they won't go.  Using myself as an example (And, no, I am not going to use the one that you're thinking of because, Universe forgive me, I find that more acceptable based on aesthetics and mutuality of interests), I have a friend who is 60, maybe 61.  He's stated an interest in no uncertain terms, I've let him know I regard him as a friend and we shan't tread into the realm of sexual relationships/partnership/whatever.  He's a dear person and I think highly of him but he looks his age (And, there's a lot of considerations that go along with that but, that's a big part of it) and I'm simply not attracted to him in 'that' way despite that we have fun when we get together, have frank conversations, etc. 
Now, because I've been pondering acceptability in various forms of relating a bit more of late than usual, I will say that were I being actively poly-, solidly re-partnered, etc. and doing the idealized Heinleinean thing and being open to being with anyone I hold in high regard, it might be different, but as a primary partner, < shaking head >. 
  Davan

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(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 3:57:21 PM   
Danemora


Posts: 752
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, you definitely arent too young chronologically. You may find that some do not want to invovle themselves with someone your age, but there are others out there who dont mind.

As DarkSteven pointed out, there are very mature 20 year olds and some really immature 50 year olds.  It really all depends on how you want yourself to be perceived and act accordingly. 

Just be yourself and you will do fine :)  Good luck in your search

(in reply to SaintX)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 5:32:58 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintX

I am 20 years old and new to this site. To all helping men and women feedback would be nice, am I to young for a male to be recognized on this site? Its a whole different world for 20 year old females then it is for 20 year old males. I'm not 14, not immature, and certainly not unintellectual. Any thoughts? 


When your post count hits.. oh.. say 100.. ill answer your question

until then.. welcome!

_____________________________

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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SaintX)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 6:00:28 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
When your post count hits.. oh.. say 100.. ill answer your question

lolol - damm, you really are wicked *laughs*


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 6:10:08 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		lol... you have no idea!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Thoughts? - 8/1/2009 8:43:54 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintX

I am 20 years old and new to this site. To all helping men and women feedback would be nice, am I to young for a male to be recognized on this site? Its a whole different world for 20 year old females then it is for 20 year old males. I'm not 14, not immature, and certainly not unintellectual. Any thoughts? 


Well, first, welcome to the boards. Second, I agree with the gist of what most people have already said - who you are is going to matter more than how old you are, for the most part.

One thing I'll add is, your biggest obstacle may be that at your age, you may not find as many people here in your general age group as someone a few years older. I don't have any hard data to back up that assumption; it's just my general impression from browsing the forums as much as i do. It seems the early 20s are awfully under-represented here. If I'm right about that, try not to be too discouraged. Remember, all it takes is one - if she's the right one.


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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


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RE: Thoughts? - 8/2/2009 3:54:11 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintX

am I to young for a male to be recognized on this site?



As always - it's a matter of what you have to offer.

I would start by not looking for reassurance - that's a sign of the maturity you claim to have in abundance.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: Thoughts? - 8/2/2009 3:55:54 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

m 22, 20 isnt too young at all (18+ site and all), sure the boards are populated mostly by an older crowd
watch it, smart-ass! 

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RE: Thoughts? - 8/2/2009 8:33:47 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't know what your success rate will be on this site.  But there are people out there.  As a young female I was always able to encounter men who had this lovestyle.  My suggestion is you find a local female that attracts you, and discuss what you like if she seems compatible.

(in reply to SaintX)
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RE: Thoughts? - 8/2/2009 9:48:06 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
I would start by not looking for reassurance - that's a sign of the maturity you claim to have in abundance.

Wow, that's tough Northern. Pretty much everyone I know when they join a new "community" likes to be welcomed to it... a bit of reassurance... a "hello". Sheez, if stuff like that starts being "weakness" then I'm going to be really glad I never claimed to be manly or mature or whatever it is I'm giving up by that.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Thoughts? - 8/2/2009 10:11:18 AM   
Lostkitten3


Posts: 179
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		I love that you call it a lovestyle, instead of a life style! That is so wonderful...let's change the world!
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I don't know what your success rate will be on this site.  But there are people out there.  As a young female I was always able to encounter men who had this lovestyle.  My suggestion is you find a local female that attracts you, and discuss what you like if she seems compatible.


(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 20
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