RE: Is it Wrong? (Full Version)

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pixidustpet -> RE: Is it Wrong? (8/1/2009 12:07:29 PM)

james died 4 and a half years ago.  at home, in my arms.  we were still involved (to a point) at that time, and i didnt feel much at all.  i was sad for a bit, but not overwhelming grief, just "damn, how are we gonna get through christmas" because he died a week before christmas.

two years later, and i'm going through the same thing again with fallcon, only it was cancer and not a sudden heart attack, and he died dec 25th two and a half years ago.  and i STILL break into tears occasionally.

i dont know what the difference is.  i do know that when my father dies, i'm not going to feel much other than relief....because of the relationship we have.  maybe that's why you dont feel that way, because of the relationship you have?

emotions are tricksy things, they act how *they* wish to, not how we wish them to act.

*hugs*
kitten



Lostkitten3 -> RE: Is it Wrong? (8/1/2009 2:40:51 PM)

Why does death have to be a sad thing? I realize you will miss them, but they are simply moving on. You are always connected to them.

Sadness is not a requirement. Partying in Ireland is though.
Let's adopt their attitude. They hire women to cry, so they can get drunk and tell stories about the deceased. Good plan.



ShaharThorne -> RE: Is it Wrong? (8/1/2009 6:34:13 PM)

When my first exe hubby died, I did cry at the loss. I felt that the earth lost someone special.



SassySarijane -> RE: Is it Wrong? (8/3/2009 7:30:16 AM)

I want to thank everyone so much for the feedback and responses here. I still feel guilt for not caring. Still feel like I should care in some way. I also feel guilt for thinking it will be a relief when he's gone. How I will actually feel at that time I don't know, but I am essentially feeling numb or dead inside at the thought of him dying. At least I don't feel so much like maybe it makes me a bad person for feeling (or not feeling, I guess you could say) this way.

Some of the comments regarding how our relationship ended and what it was like before as being part of why I'm this way about it, I think are probably dead on as to the why. I doesn't make it easier to feel this guilt, but it reminds me that I have reasons for the not caring.



LotusSong -> RE: Is it Wrong? (8/3/2009 11:31:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

I know this one is likely to get all kinds of different responses, but I'm asking it anyway.

Do you think it’s wrong, bad or evil to not care, not be upset or sad, at the thought of someone you used to love and be intimate with dying?


With maturity, you learn acceptance.




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