RE: earning a collar

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sweetgirlserves -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 12:41:20 PM)
I really like the way you speak about running your household. Do you have a website or something as a reference tool for others to learn from? ~sgs

SteelofUtah -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 12:43:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atypicalsub Ooohhh Steel! That is such a beautiful line. Can I steal that Steel? quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Not find pleasure in what he ask of you.... but finding the pleasure in that it was YOU he asked. Steel You are welcome to it but be careful if you say you said it. My Post was a Workshop I did on Expectations of Dominants for Dominants, if you start throwing the quote around someone may catch it and try to make an issue of it. I really don't care one way or another if someone gets something out of what I say I hope they use it over and over again and maybe it might get to someone else who needs to hear it. *To Bounty* That was very kind. Steel

Musicmystery -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 12:46:18 PM)
"exquisite beauty and absolute obedience" is also a direct quote from John Norman's Gor novels. Just FYI.

SteelofUtah -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 1:00:07 PM)
Granted, I was unaware of that specifically at the time however it is noted that I was living in a Gorean Homestone at the time so it makes sence that that would be a direct quote. I am refering however to the WHOLE of what I wrote in my first post. I am sure that none of what I said was Unique and that someone has said it before, I just taught a specific class in it with those words in that order as the title of the Workshop. Steel Thank you either way for pointing that out to those who might not have known.

TurboJugend -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 1:03:30 PM)
quote: Exquisite Beauty it sounds lovely of course..like a dream..but any advise to the ladies how to become it?

SteelofUtah -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 1:07:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TurboJugend quote: Exquisite Beauty it sounds lovely of course..like a dream..but any advise to the ladies how to become it? Good Catch TJ How to do it? Different for everyone but for me, just be what you are because it was that beauty that brought me to them in the first place. Anyone who thinks they have to try to be beautiful is ignoreing that beauty is not up to them but the eyes who see them. Steel

TurboJugend -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 1:14:00 PM)
nicely put again indeed..beauty is in the eyes of the beholder I guess she is already an exquisite beauty (mind, body, soul)...and that it is one of the reasons for her collaring..

Mercnbeth -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 1:27:41 PM)
quote: ...Sometimes, as Merc noted...in a somewhat sad and cynical manner...tis a matter of the dominant being the one to "earn" the collar although I tend to think that in reality, there is going to be some accomodation by the dominant. I agree with Merc though in that it should not be very much, especially from someone who intends to guide and lead and command another... apologies for any misunderstandings, but the intention of the response wasn't to be sad or cynical...there really was no value judgement implied...just an outside observation from someone who identifies as a submissive slave, as to how some who identify as submissives perceive, describe and go about their submission to any partner and/or potential dominant. some folks need submission to be earned, inspired, evoked, drawn out, coaxed or whatever other verb they are comfortable with...and there is nothing wrong with that.[:)]

sweetsub1957 -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 2:17:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Anyone who thinks they have to try to be beautiful is ignoreing that beauty is not up to them but the eyes who see them. Steel That statement in itself is beautiful!

CreativeDominant -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 2:29:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ...Sometimes, as Merc noted...in a somewhat sad and cynical manner...tis a matter of the dominant being the one to "earn" the collar although I tend to think that in reality, there is going to be some accomodation by the dominant. I agree with Merc though in that it should not be very much, especially from someone who intends to guide and lead and command another... apologies for any misunderstandings, but the intention of the response wasn't to be sad or cynical...there really was no value judgement implied...just an outside observation from someone who identifies as a submissive slave, as to how some who identify as submissives perceive, describe and go about their submission to any partner and/or potential dominant. some folks need submission to be earned, inspired, evoked, drawn out, coaxed or whatever other verb they are comfortable with...and there is nothing wrong with that.[:)] Agreed. And in fact, I am of the dominant variety who likes knowing that it takes a certain sort of...and not just any... dominant such as myself to draw, inspire, evoke, coax that submission. Perhaps the sadness is my own when I consider those who put dominants through many hoops, the great majority unnecessary, in order to reach that point. But that's another discussion...[:)]

Musicmystery -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 3:34:26 PM)
quote: I was living in a Gorean Homestone at the time Hi Steel, Yes, I took all of what you said just as you explained you meant it. I just want to correct the above--I think maybe you mean "household"? A Home Stone is a concept, metaphorically represented by a stone, not a place. Live well.

gentlemanprince -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 3:45:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth depending on your perspective, "earning a collar" could mean the dominant is the one doing the earning. sometimes, submissives require that dominants earn their submission, as well as any ensuing "right" to collar them. I agree. I will not submit to just any Domme. She has to be worthy of my submission. However, I don't know whether that means she has to earn it; worth can come simply by the type of woman she is.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 4:04:04 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Sir and I were talking yesterday about Dominance & submission, and what made me decide to submit to Him specifically. I was at a total loss for words. It was in my heart, but I couldn't find the right words to express it. I finally had to say "When I met You, I just knew You were so different....stood out way apart from the others, yet I can't find the words to express it. I just knew from that moment on, I wanted to belong to You" & I kissed Him. I didn't know what else to say. From the first moment I saw Him, I worked hard trying to earn His collar. Although to this day I'm not sure how it happened, but it did. [sm=hearts.gif]

daddysliloneds -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 5:52:35 PM)
run down to the pet store with about $10 then you don't have to earn didly-squat[;)] all joking aside though, i'm not much on having to feel like i need to 'earn' my relationship, never have been... it's either right for both of us or it's not.

slaveluci -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 6:10:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth some folks need submission to be earned, inspired, evoked, drawn out, coaxed or whatever other verb they are comfortable with...and there is nothing wrong with that.[:)] Nope, there sure isn't. To each his/her own[:)] luci

NuevaVida -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 6:13:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kateindenver i was wondering if anyone has any information about earning a collar and if the can share views with me kate It was nothing I tried to do...I have simply just been myself, and in doing so we compliment each other in all sorts of areas of life - same sense of humor, same zest for life, same tastes in music, food, values, etc. I do not currently wear his collar but he has told me that I will. I don't much know what a "collar" even means to me anymore, so a collar has not been my goal. We've had some conversations about it, and in time I might feel comfortable enough with the idea. This isn't about him "earning" it, either. It's just about us being us and taking the time to do things right (for us).

Padriag -> RE: earning a collar (7/20/2009 7:47:31 PM)
Slight off topic digression... quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 ~Fast Reply~ Sir and I were talking yesterday about Dominance & submission, and what made me decide to submit to Him specifically. I was at a total loss for words. It was in my heart, but I couldn't find the right words to express it. Don't feel bad, I think you most likely have a great deal of company in that regard. Most people I know, when asked why they love someone, tend to come up at a loss for words. Me, I'm an oddball... once asked by someone I loved very deeply why I loved her I promptly and without hesitation gave her a verbal essay. I rattled off a list of reasons one after the other. Perhaps its a result of knowing myself very well, or a great deal of introspection, or just how my mind works. But what I have observed in my own life, most people simply cannot do that. Then again, I've always been peculiar. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s4.gif[/image] ... end digression. Coming back on topic somewhat, part of what I want to come out of a slave earning a collar is to develop a deep understanding on their part of what they have gained, its worth and value, what it signifies to us both, and why they wanted it.

CreativeDominant -> RE: earning a collar (7/21/2009 7:52:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag Slight off topic digression... quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 ~Fast Reply~ Sir and I were talking yesterday about Dominance & submission, and what made me decide to submit to Him specifically. I was at a total loss for words. It was in my heart, but I couldn't find the right words to express it. Don't feel bad, I think you most likely have a great deal of company in that regard. Most people I know, when asked why they love someone, tend to come up at a loss for words. Me, I'm an oddball... once asked by someone I loved very deeply why I loved her I promptly and without hesitation gave her a verbal essay. I rattled off a list of reasons one after the other. Perhaps its a result of knowing myself very well, or a great deal of introspection, or just how my mind works. But what I have observed in my own life, most people simply cannot do that. Then again, I've always been peculiar. [;)] ... end digression. I can relate...[;)]...I know a girl that thinks that I sometimes know myself too deeply and yet, appreciates...for the most part, anyway (though not always)...the fact that I can express myself as fully and as well as I do. quote: Coming back on topic somewhat, part of what I want to come out of a slave earning a collar is to develop a deep understanding on their part of what they have gained, its worth and value, what it signifies to us both, and why they wanted it. I can relate to this somewhat. What I hope comes out of a submissive knowing me for any length of time, whether as a friend or as a partner, is...as a I noted above...the willingness and the development/furthering of the ability to delve within her own mind and heart and discover not just what feelings are invoked in her by the actions of those around her but a better idea of the feelings that her actions can invoke in those around her.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: earning a collar (7/21/2009 8:03:16 AM)
[sm=offtopic2.gif] quote: ORIGINAL: sweetgirlserves I really like the way you speak about running your household. Do you have a website or something as a reference tool for others to learn from? ~sgs We've tried several times to have a website, but found that it ended up being more trouble than value, so we abandoned the idea. If you write me on the other side, I can answer questions and perhaps get you some information like our handbook that we used when we had several trainee servants coming in at a time -- these days, we're a lot more 'oral tradition' focused. I like the intimacy of it, and it sits well with my preferred self-vision of the house matriarch and storyteller, who shares instruction and philosophy in equal measure, seasoned with generous dashes of humor, joy, anger, sorrow, hope, pain, fear, ecstasy, and reason. It also gives us a -lot- of flexibility, which is nice, and makes it easy to put the household first, while still nurturing a wide variety of individual preferences and needs. It works for us. chuckles Dame Calla

SteelofUtah -> RE: earning a collar (7/21/2009 8:33:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Musicmystery quote: I was living in a Gorean Homestone at the time Hi Steel, Yes, I took all of what you said just as you explained you meant it. I just want to correct the above--I think maybe you mean "household"? A Home Stone is a concept, metaphorically represented by a stone, not a place. Live well. Again I stand corrected. Taking this a bit off topic but feel I should explain. I lived in the household and I was Dominant over a Gorean kajira, however I was never what one would call Gorean, I appreciated the Philosophy and attempted to read the books but could only get so far and eventually simply used reference material to get certain points across. I got in the habbit of calling it a home stone, and you are right the homestone was a physical STONE but I liked the idea of it and that is always what comes to mind. It should be understood that I rarely claim to be an authority on the Gorean Lifestyle I just enjoyed my experience of it when it came to my experiences in this lifestyle. The Workshop I Taught was for Dominants to understand the mind frame of a submissive and how when trying to be submissive there is often a subtlety that gets missed or ignored. I have always liked the Idea of Exquisite Beauty and Absolute Obedience I think it is a Goal, that can only be reached between two people, I do not thing it is achievable when there is not a relationship or power dynamic in place because of the nature of beauty and obedience..... but that is all a different thread. Again Thank you for the correction I hate looking silly for misusing certain words. Steel

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