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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 2:55:13 PM

fyt2btyed

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Amaidiamond,

When you faced your fears, and dealt with them, did any of that take place after the punishment? Or did you deal with it beforehand?

The last time this happened, I struggled for several days, and then, ultimately, as you stated, felt stronger, closer to Him, and less fearful. I was just worried that I would start not trusting Him. I am thinking I just need to talk to Him, and to give myself a little time to work thru my feelings.

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 2:56:48 PM

amaidiamond

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I also have major issues with caring for myself, you would trhink that any logical person would be able to do so but nooo not me :) hence why i'm on a PC at 11pm when i have work tomorrow and a zillion things to do ;)

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:00:03 PM

fyt2btyed

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yep...i am amidst a laundry mountain that i am almost done with...hooray!!! that will be one task completed. My Sir tells me to just do the next thing you see. That is one task down. Sounds so simple and childish, but it sure helps me!

so, GF, get off the damned 'puter and go take care of u. You are sooo worth it.

Thanks so much for sharing.

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:09:22 PM

DesFIP

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He should never have tied you up and left for the day. The person in need of punishment for that is him, not you. And how do you lie still for 8 hours without needing to use the bathroom anyway?

The staying up late here would have been addressed with loss of priveleges. "Because you're overtired tonight, you now have to go to bed early and tomorrow you have to do catch up on everything you're behind on, which means you don't get a night off or any fun stuff for three days. Sorry that you can't join me at the movies or watch the movie we rented a couple of days ago, but I'll enjoy it all while you're doing laundry".

And I have given up on laundry mountains, I do the most urgent and I know I will do more tomorrow. (See my sig line)

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:17:45 PM

fyt2btyed

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LOL love the sig line, Consigliere.

too funny. i understand your take on things and appreciate the support.

so, after what you asked me, and based on your response, am i to believe that you rarely ever, if ever, earn punishments? and if so, are you never spanked or lashed?

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:21:46 PM

aldompdx

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The question is one of form vs. substance.

A highly skilled master will intentionally create a scene to bring up past emotional issues -- in order to HELP you work through them in a conscious, caring, and empathic manner. While working through the issues, you should always feel confident that it is a positive process and there is a "safety net." That is, if it gets too intense, the master will know and reduce it.

Too often, the focus is on the form of physical activity. This question demonstrates the crucial importance of being aware of the emotional aspects.

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:34:36 PM

fyt2btyed

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well spoken, aldompdx

i feel that He is greatly in tune to where I am. once the punishment was over, He stated that he had guided me thru at least 6 emotions. later, He had me journal about it, and there were more than that.

some feelings run so deep; he can't possibly control how i will feel the next day. except, as you said, to take things slowly. even then, it can be difficult.

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some guys like to sweet talk. others they like to tease.
tie my hands behind my back, oooh i'm in ecstasy. Madonna

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:39:18 PM

lusciouslips19

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I dont think any "Master" is keeping you safe if they tie you up and leave you. Thats just damn scary.

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:40:12 PM

amaidiamond

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fyt2btyed

Amaidiamond,

When you faced your fears, and dealt with them, did any of that take place after the punishment? Or did you deal with it beforehand?

The last time this happened, I struggled for several days, and then, ultimately, as you stated, felt stronger, closer to Him, and less fearful. I was just worried that I would start not trusting Him. I am thinking I just need to talk to Him, and to give myself a little time to work thru my feelings.

Hi there,

With me, the actual facing came during, rather than before.... before was worry, and fear but then once i was there, facing it and dealing with it and the bad things didnt happen i felt stronger, and i felt better in myself that i had trusted, and taken my fear and given it over so to speak, and also although it was something i was scared of in facing it i earnt pride.

Painfull experiences can leave scars on people emotionally and though they may not be visible they are still equally tender if more so - it sounds like you have a great relationship and that you are working together - I take my hat off to you and well done on facing the fear.

I just want to add that there is a big difference in my mind to being gentle with a fear even if it is punishment as it was with you, and then doing it with callousness and cruelty, i think id a Dom punished me with something i am trully afraid of in the wrong way, for example wihtout any kindness or emotion then it could do damage but the way you have described sounds like he was helping you grow in more ways than one.

Any yep i should get my ass to bed, but the forums are sooooo interesting

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:41:38 PM

amaidiamond

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I dont think any "Master" is keeping you safe if they tie you up and leave you. Thats just damn scary.

She did mention she had a safety release i think, i have been bound and left with an "out" option just with instructions not to use it without emergency

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:44:38 PM

fyt2btyed

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well, thanks to you for your take on things. and i, for one, am leaving!!!

nite!

_____________________________

i am a part of all that i have met. Tennyson

some guys like to sweet talk. others they like to tease.
tie my hands behind my back, oooh i'm in ecstasy. Madonna

i said be careful, his bowtie is really a camera. S&G

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 3:49:12 PM

amaidiamond

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fyt2btyed

well, thanks to you for your take on things. and i, for one, am leaving!!!

nite!

LOL i need to follow your example I htink and hit the sack but people just keep saying such interesting things, i hav e so little self disciplin in some things

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 4:46:41 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I dont think any "Master" is keeping you safe if they tie you up and leave you. Thats just damn scary.

She did mention she had a safety release i think, i have been bound and left with an "out" option just with instructions not to use it without emergency

Its not safe to be left alone. The predicament she got herself into illistrates this. Plus he punished her after? None of this falls under the "sane" part of Safe, sane and consentual.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: punishment...and acceptance therein? - 7/19/2009 5:18:15 PM

amaidiamond

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I dont think any "Master" is keeping you safe if they tie you up and leave you. Thats just damn scary.

She did mention she had a safety release i think, i have been bound and left with an "out" option just with instructions not to use it without emergency

Its not safe to be left alone. The predicament she got herself into illistrates this. Plus he punished her after? None of this falls under the "sane" part of Safe, sane and consentual.

I think a lot of it depends how one is bound in all honesty, i have spent many nights in loose bondage alone, but always in a way I could get myself out if i had the need. The op ran into trouble because she tried to tie herself back up as such.
I think its each to their own but i think to lable all Doms that do this as unsafe or bad is a very wide blanket statement - when i was bound it was usually a case of ankles tied to the end of the bed on a reasonably long rope (nothing around my head, neck etc) or my wrists cuffed in leather cuffs - i didnt used to be able to sleep unless it was in cuffs when my Dom was away.
I think without knowing the exact nature of the binding we can't judge, it may have been as simple as one ankle cuffed to the bedpost, I fully support that some forms of bondage are not at all sutiable overnight or for a long period, eg a tight hogtie etc but I see no issues as long as it is done carefully and with awareness.
Everyones oppinions differ of course, as do everyones personal choices, i tend to follow RACK moreso than SSC because i enjoy edge play and the like and many things i have indulged in are not "safe" but it is a calculated risk.
I guess ultimatly it's each to their own but I definatly dont think that makes him a bad Dom, he sounds like a man that cares for her deeply from what she has said.

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