quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

Doms; do you want to know your sub's fantasies?

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
... I've often wondered about whether those certain types of subs/slaves would find this too convoluted a path to serving if they are essentially forced to cater, accept and indulge their own desires and fantasies which they are habitually self-denying....

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ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

What about those of us who don't have, and have never had; fantasies about anything in relation to relationships?

It does happen you know.

Those of you who do not have and never have had fantasies....... this thread doesn't apply to....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha


Here's something I've been wondering about and would like to try and sort out.

It is prompted by the "Is it wrong?" thread which is going on currently. In fact, it is very like that thread, but I wanted to try and be a little more explicit and add a bit more detail.

I am thinking of this question in the context of a relationship, as opposed to casual play, although I still will use the word "play" as I can't think of a better word at the moment.

I've heard subs say that they don't want to tell their dominants what they desire, or what their fantasies are, because they don't want play (substitute whatever word you wish for "play", as appropriate) that revolves around their desires or fantasies.

They want play to revolve around whatever the dominant's desire is.

And they feel they don't want to temper, influence or dilute that.

So, the sub's desire in this case, is just a very general one,, "to serve"...without anything more specific stated.

And I think there are dominants who would concur with this view. They would probably be a good match.

Perhaps, for them, paying substantial heed to a submissive's fantasy life would be a form of catering to them, a la the 'service top'.

This subject of the submissive's fantasy life and how it is regarded has interested me for a while.

I'm curious to know how doms and subs view it.
Doms; do you want to know your sub's fantasies?
Subs; do you want to share them?

For one thing, maybe I'll have to make a further distinction in the future, for clarity's sake, if what it is that I want turns out to have an unusual slant.

And, then, I'm just nosy in general.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

*shrugs* Some of my fantasies are things I *don't* want to do, but are hot to think about.

quote:

...Sharing them tends to make them less hot, and I have to switch to fantasising about something else.