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Bruticus -> RE: smoking versus obedience!! (7/11/2009 6:20:48 PM)
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It sounds to me like you're looking for reasons or excuses to go back on the timetable that you and your Master agreed upon some time ago. I could be wrong, but I don't have a lot of information here.
That said, if I'm right, it wouldn't be much of a surprise - chemical addictions are notoriously difficult to end. Your brain is utterly convinced that you need nicotine to function, so as the "end date" draws near, your subconscious is screaming at you to slow down or stop. Your subconscious is probably wrong.
My advice:
*First of all, I see that you're in the UK, which means you can see a doctor without much difficulty. If you haven't consulted your doctor yet about quitting, you should do so. Your doctor may be able to better advise you on whether or not your time table is reasonable, healthy, and could be expected to be effective. (Quitting "cold turkey" is notoriously ineffective, so you've avoided that pitfall.) Your doctor may have other ways to help you end this addiction safely and for the long haul.
*Have you discussed your concerns with your Master? Aside from establishing a time table and punishment, what else has He done to help you with this? I don't know what the nature / extent of your relationship is (nor is it my business) but I'm going to operate under the assumption that He wants you to quit for your own good and not just because it displeases Him. (If my assumption is correct, it's something you should bear in mind. Even if He were to release you in the future, if this works you'll be the better for it.)
As for what else He could do to help - well, I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. (I do love Dr. House, though!) Here's what I do know:
1. Motivation is key. My father quit many years ago - he promised my mother that he would quit so long as she recovered from her first open heart surgery. (FYI, her heart condition was not her fault, nor was it genetic - it was the fault of her negligent and abusive parents who allowed a nasty fever to go untreated when she was a child. Turns out it was rheumatic fever - the same fever that robbed Helen Keller of her sight and hearing. In my mother's case the fever damaged her heart quite a bit.) She did (and she's still kicking ass today) so he quit. Immediately. (He was one of the few "cold turkey" successes that I've heard of.) so he was motivated by fear - and also love. If your only motivation is to avoid the whip - well, maybe that's not enough. Perhaps you need positive reinforcement as well. Or perhaps you need to be reminded periodically why you're quitting - your health, being alive for the sake of your children, etc.
2. Break the cycle. One thing that I've heard many times is that addicts are reinforced by habits - after waking up, with coffee, etc. Break those habits and you'll be in better shape to not only quit, but stay clean. Your Master may be able to help you with this - modifying your routine with a leash if need be!
3. Use BDSM to your advantage. This is just theory on my part, but I think that you and your Master have options available to you that vanilla folks wouldn't consider. I'm not just talking about the whip or the leash.
*What about gags? Tobacco abuse is partially fueled by an oral fixation. Instead of sticking food or candy in your mouth, a ball gag / bit gag / penis gag will definitely keep you from relapsing!
*What about caging? If He locks you in a cage, you surely won't relapse.
*What other kinky things could you use? Be imaginative.
I hope this was helpful, and I wish you the best.
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