Growth

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LadyPact -> Growth (7/10/2009 6:20:34 PM)
I understand that not everyone is into the public event or munch group thing. Yet, as I'm sitting here getting ready to move away from the place I've called home over the last five years, I can't help but think how much growth there has been in this BDSM community and in places all over. It seems like there is always a new face at a meet and greet for groups that are already established. Those groups are getting bigger. New groups are springing up all of the time. Some make it and some don't, but it seems like more folks are willing to give it a try. Where there used to be one event on a particular weekend, there are now several groups offering different choices. When there were just a few, the different groups would hold things on opposing weekends. Now, there's too many groups for each to claim the first, second, third, or fourth Saturday of the month. I have to say that I think that's a lot of progress. It isn't just local groups either. BDSM has been inching it's way through different mediums. We have shows on tv that actually refer to BDSM by name. Power dynamics are seen on the big screen. Nobody can deny that it's certainly in music in more overt ways than ever before. I can't even begin to list all of the websites and books these days. How have you seen growth in your community or in other influences?

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Growth (7/10/2009 6:38:57 PM)
About 13, 14 years ago, a guy who later came to be my friend decided to start in the Twin Cities a BDSM group loosely based on the Eulenspeigel Society. I went to, like, the 3rd or 4th munch; there were 8 of us. Now the munch often draws upwards of 200 people each month, and has spun off a half dozen other local groups that collectively number (I'm guessing) over 500.

Missokyst -> RE: Growth (7/10/2009 9:28:22 PM)
WOW... 200! I am so flipping envious I could puke! Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda About 13, 14 years ago, a guy who later came to be my friend decided to start in the Twin Cities a BDSM group loosely based on the Eulenspeigel Society. I went to, like, the 3rd or 4th munch; there were 8 of us. Now the munch often draws upwards of 200 people each month, and has spun off a half dozen other local groups that collectively number (I'm guessing) over 500.

Prinsexx -> RE: Growth (7/10/2009 10:52:43 PM)
My preferred form of communication is one on one so I can't say munching is any measure of growth for me. But it's fascinating to read what others get from it.

WestBaySlave -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 12:19:14 AM)
I sometimes wish I wasn't so crowd-phobic - I'd love to get to know more folks in the BDSM world on a casual basis, but I tend to feel lost in a social event with more than ten people, let alone a hundred. ( After SF Pride fried my brain and ears I made a note to miss Folsom, which sounds negative but has everything to do with me and nothing to do with the BDSM community! ) I have seen BDSM crop up in TV more and more. I first remember it being mentioned in CSI early this decade, but since then more and more, and even caught one show featuring a fictional pony play community ( didn't catch the name of the show but it looked mainstream ). It seems to me there's in general greater level of acceptance and self-acceptance when it comes to alternative lifestyles and sexualities, even in the comparatively short period of time I've been aware of them.

Prinsexx -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 12:41:45 AM)
Judging by the chain stores here and what I call Eurotrash fashion EVERYONE is into wearing fetish gear...it's just a Fashionista thang. I actually think bdsm stands for bedroom dressing-up shoes and munchies...a kind of Berlin boutique meets burlesque. Does that count as growth?

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 4:42:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Judging by the chain stores here and what I call Eurotrash fashion EVERYONE is into wearing fetish gear...it's just a Fashionista thang. I actually think bdsm stands for bedroom dressing-up shoes and munchies...a kind of Berlin boutique meets burlesque. Does that count as growth? It really bothers me when I hear people diss the public munch and play scene, and the progress that's been made. I came into the sphere of authority-exchange, bondage, beatings, and more back during a time when my pastoral-care clients struggled to find anyone else who could validate the feelings they thought were -horrible- and -evil-. I watched people I'd come to care for torture themselves to try and let go of these 'wicked' thoughts they had, and worry that they were the -only- person in the world who got turned on by the scent of leather and blood, and the sound of a whip... and worried themselves into near catatonia when it came to meeting people because they were afraid that anyone they got involved with intimately would think they were a -freak-. I feel incredibly proud to have been involved and have contributed to so much more freedom ,exposure, and awareness... and am grateful in ways I can't even recount for the fact that I could -genuinely and joyfully- recommend that my daughter follow her heart and become a tattoo artist/piercer, and that my son follow -his- and start a poly family with people he truly cherishes. I respect that some people are 'solo artists' when it comes to their way of life, and there is no compulsion out there saying 'you MUST participate in your local community', but -please- don't dismiss, or worse, denigrate and belittle, all the hard work that's been done, because frankly, those who diss it still reap many of the benefits of the awareness that those of use who -have- exposed ourselves publically have helped to generate. Dame Calla

Prinsexx -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 6:07:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Judging by the chain stores here and what I call Eurotrash fashion EVERYONE is into wearing fetish gear...it's just a Fashionista thang. I actually think bdsm stands for bedroom dressing-up shoes and munchies...a kind of Berlin boutique meets burlesque. Does that count as growth? I respect that some people are 'solo artists' when it comes to their way of life, and there is no compulsion out there saying 'you MUST participate in your local community', but -please- don't dismiss, or worse, denigrate and belittle, all the hard work that's been done, because frankly, those who diss it still reap many of the benefits of the awareness that those of use who -have- exposed ourselves publically have helped to generate. Dame Calla I'm certainly not 'dissing' you Dame Calla and I am sorry you feel like that. Far far from it and I absolutely respect your views and the support you give me mail-wise. I cannot diss anything of I have no experience of it. I'm mere;y dissing 'velcro' bdsm.. the kind of dressing up for a night, into a collar and out of it. I was born in the dark ages as far as awareness of sado-masochism, homosexuality, sexuality of any description went. Intolerant repressed class ridden ignirance is how I would describe it. I'm as far out as it's possible to be about who I am and if wearing a collar and chains to work would help then I would;d except that's a uniform of Brit fashion. Co-opting behaviour societally doesn't mean it's acceptable. We have a phrase here that goes: what's expressed is repressed.

abuddingdom -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 6:11:16 AM)
I topped happily&imaginatively for decades before going to my 1st munch going on 3 years ago, & did just fine but I was happy to discover that sort of alternate universe which had been there forever.The ups are that I've met a lot of fine people&have had a lot of good times&have learned a lot&will certainly learn more due to my involvement in groups.Oh- & I met my pretty one at a munch a year ago last Spring. I walked in after missing afew munches due to scheduling issues&there was one empty chair at the table & it was next to her. The downside is that whenever you get #'s of people together anywhere in any form then personality conflicts & politics rear their heads. There's always attention whores doing the "look at me!" thing, &some inevetibly get their noses out of joint if things dont go their way & cant just live&let live. When I first came into the lifestyle there was 2 local groups as well asa small, invitation only private group. One very longtime group went defunct & a new group rose from the ashes under the same name while around the same time yet another group formed. That one had a slow start but hit its stride several months in & continues to experience wild growth. As said in the op new faces just seem to keep materializing at the munches&parties & a lot of people have become close friends & frequently socialize. All 3 groups are very active. 2 of them provide good&at the same time fun instructional demos. That private group also had a spike in growth & has parties much more frequently & more highly attended than before. There's much overlapping as many people belong to all 4 of these groups & most could care less that there frequently seems to be - what I perceive is mostly needless - squabbling & hurt feelings&backbiting among some of the local leaderships, most of which seems to stem from fear or unacceptance due to each group being somewhat different in philosophies. But ,what are you going to do? Humans are humans&will act like humans......... Another up, for me, is that I know I can go almost anywhere in this state, in this country, or in much of the rest of the world for that matter & find communities within reach. But the bottom line is that a lot of people are benefitting from the availability of all this, from the choices, from the support&info being made available. & many people seem to keep find these groups. I dont think this area could handle any more groups, though. Enough's enough. 8 )

Missokyst -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 8:15:20 AM)
Most people I have met at munches I have been to over the years look pretty normal. Once in a while someone will wear a collar and leathers but wow.. that is rare! I see jeans, tshirts, flowing skirts, dresses, shorts, and I even saw a sarong which I wanted. At clubs I see fetish wear but it has been a long time since I went to a club! And at parties I see fetish wear and regular clothes. Unless it is a munch (still envying that 200 up there), it is pretty much a mixed bag. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I'm mere;y dissing 'velcro' bdsm.. the kind of dressing up for a night, into a collar and out of it.

vasha -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 8:33:44 AM)
velcro bdsm.... havnt seen that in the munches ive attended, but i think i understand the setiment. some real fetish gear, yes... lot of collars. some real fancy too. i get to ware my formal collar for going. is one of the few times i Do get to ware it. is always an honor to me.

CarrieO -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 8:35:10 AM)
I've always said I wasn't much of a joiner...being part of a group didn't matter. Lately, though, I've been feeling a shift in that opinion. I'm aware of one local group that, due to work/time constraints, I won't be able to attend at least for a couple months. Other than that, I would be driving an hour or more and would need to take time off from work. NYC is an hour or so by train and there's a wealth of possibilities available. In fact, I was attending a function a few years ago that had nothing to do with the BDSM community. I met a wonderful couple and noticed the neck piece the woman was wearing. It was beautifully hand-tooled and painted leather and with a sweet little golden buckle. I commented on it and she told me that her Owner, looking at the gentleman next to her, had it made for her as an anniversary gift to commemorate 3 yrs of ownership. I've had friends who never gave any hint of interest in BDSM say they were going to Dark Fantasy or make a trip to Paddles. I think it's becomming more mainstream in my area.

LadyPact -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 8:53:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vasha velcro bdsm.... havnt seen that in the munches ive attended, but i think i understand the setiment. some real fetish gear, yes... lot of collars. some real fancy too. i get to ware my formal collar for going. is one of the few times i Do get to ware it. is always an honor to me. Here's a funny thing. That's actually one of the times that clip doesn't get to wear his. If our munch is held in a vanilla location, folks are asked to leave the fetish wear at home. That and work are the only two times that it comes off and his 'every day' collar go on. It tends to make Me laugh a bit that we have to take the leather one off so we can go out to dinner with kinky people!

vasha -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 9:07:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: vasha velcro bdsm.... havnt seen that in the munches ive attended, but i think i understand the setiment. some real fetish gear, yes... lot of collars. some real fancy too. i get to ware my formal collar for going. is one of the few times i Do get to ware it. is always an honor to me. Here's a funny thing. That's actually one of the times that clip doesn't get to wear his. If our munch is held in a vanilla location, folks are asked to leave the fetish wear at home. That and work are the only two times that it comes off and his 'every day' collar go on. It tends to make Me laugh a bit that we have to take the leather one off so we can go out to dinner with kinky people! that's an irony alright... and maybe im warped (well actually i know i am, but that's becides the point) but i find a lot or even most ironies humorous. =)-

OttersSwim -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 9:29:05 AM)
We live 40 minutes from the Wyoming border and so you might thing that in this, VERY RED part of Colorado, BDSM activities might be sparse and hard to find. Not so! Northern Colorado is a growing place and we are fortunate to have a local Fort Collins munch that has been started by two of our dearest friends. They do it alternate Thursdays and Sundays and have really put a lot of effort to making it something worth going to. It is well attended! There is a munch in Longmont just south of us as well. An hour south is Denver with multiple clubs and private facilities, and several more munches. There is a thriving and growing community here without doubt. Tonight we attend a private fetish B-Day party in the mountains with 15 other kinky folk, one of whom I found lives in the same town where I have my business. My experience thus far likens to the popular pagan saying of "We are everywhere." [:)]

DemonKia -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 11:11:06 AM)
FR, after read thru Ahhhhh, I didn't think I'd have anything to contribute to this thread, but I do, I do, I do . . .. . lol I deferred to our fearless munch leader, Kyst, to say her piece first -- hail, fearless leader . .. waves . . . . & awww, Kyst, don't get munch-attendee envy, that 200, that's a big freakin' urban area, the Twin Cities . . . . . . We do okay, considering . . . . . Okay. One of the sub-themes I'm hearing in this thread is the dichotomy of wanting to be part of an edgy, rebellious minority, exclusive & all that, on one hand, versus the desire to find that wider audience, to be inclusive & to help the many who want in on all the fun, on the other hand . . . . . Personally, I've always suspected that kinkiness is far more common than is given credence, in or out of BDSM circles . . . . . . I tend to think that kink is what one gets when combining human sexuality, creativity, & power dynamics / social hierarchiation stuff . . . . . & the 'self-aware BDSMers' just drag out what's already there, make it explicit, play with it in a more-deliberate manner . . . . & thus, I see growth (in terms of kink showing up in more & more places, more people identifying as kinky, etc) as inevitable. Human society is slowly, ever-so-gradually, becoming more 'liberal' in terms of personal expression, & thus humans evidence greater freedom in aligning with outside-the-norm behaviors & choices . . . . It's grand . .... The Beatles had this right: it is getting better all the time . . . . . [:D]

BarnacleBill -> RE: Growth (7/11/2009 1:07:18 PM)
LadyPact great subject and thanks for it! I think the munches are always over looked or made fun of. But they are a great place of information as well as fun for new and old people in the style. Some have troubles time to time but who doesnt? And besides that who else is there to talk about BDSM stuff with...your vanilla friends or family maybe?[:D]

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