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RE: fetlife - 7/9/2009 9:56:26 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I joined months ago but really didn't get much out of it.....

(in reply to kinkylatinmaster)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: fetlife - 7/9/2009 9:58:01 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I agree Prinsexx..i couldn't get into it.....

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: fetlife - 7/9/2009 11:32:11 PM   
Danibelle


Posts: 94
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		I'm on both.  Same username.  I like Fet a bit better because it better allows me to express myself.  I like that I can post a pic without being attacked by mail.  I like that I can choose more than just domme, switch, sub, slave.  I like that I can link to my boyfriend's page.  I like the pictures on Fet.  I like the way it's pretty easy to find events.  I still like CM for finding people as it is more of a personals site than a networking site.

_____________________________

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

(in reply to playfulotter)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 12:37:43 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		I really like Fetlife for the social aspect.  On CM, back when I had a purely social "seeking friends" profile, I received *endless* ugly, demanding, sexually explicit emails.  I continually rewrote my profile to be less and less open and friendly, trying to deter the assholes who bombarded me weekly.  I finally decided that I didn't like how angry and unwelcoming I ended up sounding.  And feeling.   So I closed that profile and don't use it any more. 

The search function on CM both helps and hurts people.  It may help people find partners, but it also makes women feel stalked in an incredibly creepy way because most of the people who use that search function are doing it with one hand and no manners.  Fetlife doesn't have such a function, and to date I have not received *any* inappropriate solicitations at my open, friendly, fun and sociable profile over there.  Not one.  Huge, huge difference.

That isn't to say that CM doesn't have positive uses for the BDSM community.  It does.  But as long as it has the search function that Fetlife deliberately does not have, guys are going to use it as a shallow meat market, and a lot of them are going to do it in a rude and ugly way.  If you can deal with that, then the site still works.  If the endless bombardment wears you down and makes you grumpy and cynical to the point that it's affecting how you look at *any* man who approaches you, then you probably will not be comfortable on a site that has a member search function.

(in reply to Danibelle)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 12:42:23 AM   
nevergrowdup


Posts: 86
Joined: 12/1/2007
Status: offline 		Ditto to what everyone else has said.

There are just too many group in FetLife, and it's very hard to read/track interesting threads.  Perhaps if I could settle down in a few good groups I'd think otherwise.  I know the gold is out there, but the process of sifting through the the silt just doesn't seem worth it.

(in reply to Danibelle)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 7:49:11 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		I'm on Fetlife as well, same username there as here. I like it there. I use CM for the message boards only (and friends not on Fet). Fetlife is my friends and certain groups and being able to find more events to possibly attend. Each site has its good and bad points. I just find enough good in each to stay on each.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
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(in reply to nevergrowdup)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 8:05:25 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Many of my friends here are also on Fetlife and I also have an account there. Granted in the past, there was a filtering agent here which did censor the mentioning of the word Fetlife. It was a minor annoyance which never bothered me.....that was a windmill which isn't worthwhile arguing about. I find on FT, the degree of comaderie I have with others is quite less theh I have here. Each has it's own uses to suit my moods.


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(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 8:47:06 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		I agree, the sites are different and offer different positives and negatives.  What was making the folks on Fetlife angry was the perception that CollarMe is actively censoring all mention of that site as a "no competition" move.  Whether this perception is accurate or not, it has generated significant angry buzz over there.  It might be a good idea for someone who is directly involved in CM policy decision making to make a clear statement, if they are interested in quieting some of that buzz.  If they don't care then they don't care, but they might want to know that it's been a huge issue on that site and that CM is largely viewed with contempt for what is perceived as a cowardly act of "no-competition" censorship.   Again, I cannot speak to whether this perception is accurate, though there is no question that at one time the word "fetlife" was actively filtered on this site. 

It would be more productive for our community as a whole, I think, to ease relations a bit with a formal statement from the management.  It's up to them how they choose to respond, or not.  Both sites basically operate on a community service model, and hopefully CM will take the high road and choose a response that benefits the community as a whole.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 8:51:01 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I like Fet for the local lists, it's a good way of networking for events.  Otherwise, the layout annoys me, and it's hard (for me) to keep up with groups and find new ones.  The more opportunities for conversation the better, IMO. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 8:59:10 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Like others, I joined, found it lacking, and rarely visit. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 9:03:06 AM   
curiousINct


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I agree, the sites are different and offer different positives and negatives.  What was making the folks on Fetlife angry was the perception that CollarMe is actively censoring all mention of that site as a "no competition" move.  Whether this perception is accurate or not, it has generated significant angry buzz over there.  It might be a good idea for someone who is directly involved in CM policy decision making to make a clear statement, if they are interested in quieting some of that buzz.  If they don't care then they don't care, but they might want to know that it's been a huge issue on that site and that CM is largely viewed with contempt for what is perceived as a cowardly act of "no-competition" censorship.   Again, I cannot speak to whether this perception is accurate, though there is no question that at one time the word "fetlife" was actively filtered on this site. 

It would be more productive for our community as a whole, I think, to ease relations a bit with a formal statement from the management.  It's up to them how they choose to respond, or not.  Both sites basically operate on a community service model, and hopefully CM will take the high road and choose a response that benefits the community as a whole.


Filters are common on sites as big as this. The high road was taken by removing it.

I'm at fet also, but prefer the layout here.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 9:33:08 AM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR, after read thru

I find CM to be much more user-friendly, which, I suspect, is part of why it's so popular with clueless n00bs, scammers, spammers, & wham-bam-thank-you-ma'amers . .... .

FL is nowhere near as user-friendly, & I do not receive hardly any come-ons from anyone thru my profile there . .... The diversity of choices in labeling self, fetish / BDSM interests, & conversational groupings is vast on FL, but the limitations of how the site works really interfere with my participation there . . . .

(in reply to curiousINct)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 9:43:51 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I have a lot of friends both here and on FetLife many of which belong to both sites. Foe me same name as here. I find both sites equally useful and enjoyable. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 9:45:37 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		I'm on both sites under the same username.  I prefer the layout here, but I like fetlife for the local information they have.  They DO have searches by city & I have used it a couple times in the past, but I don't now since I'm collared.  I forget how it works though.

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to kinkylatinmaster)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 10:00:17 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I've been over to fet again...like Informed Consent I just find it cumbersome.



_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 10:03:47 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousINct
Filters are common on sites as big as this.


Now if there was a legitimate site management issue that necessitated creating that filter in the first place - say, some overenthusiastic individual from Fetlife who decided to misuse/spam CM to promote FL - that's something that folks should know about so they don't think undeservedly bad things about CM.

If there was no abuse and the action was taken pre-emptively as an "anti competition" move, that's something the community is going to feel differently about.  And that does appear to be what people believe at the moment.  If it is not true, I think it is well worth clarifying for a more positive outcome.


quote:

The high road was taken by removing it.


I agree, but why was it there in the first place?

(in reply to curiousINct)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 10:07:06 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		I'm on FetLife (same username) and enjoy it. I love being able to post my explicit play photos without censorship and being able to browse profiles without being trolled in return! But then again, I'm not looking to hook up with anyone. CM now is a "community site," but they started out as a BDSM Personals site and the layout is designed for such. Fet was designed from a social network concept and does not offer ease of finding people near you. Instead, they make it easy to track the groups you belong to, the threads you are following and what your friends are doing. And as I know the majority of the people on my FetLife friends list in real life, it's fun to see the updates to their writings, photos and group posts when I log in.

While the FetLife format is not cookie cutter, I found it took me all of about ten mins to figure out where things were located. The main page has links and tabs to all the sections as well as the access to your own profile and mail.

And I too have, in the past, gotten the "prohibited website" message when mentioning FetLife in CM mail. While it seems to be gone, it certainly did exist at one time.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to kinkylatinmaster)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 10:07:26 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I agree, the sites are different and offer different positives and negatives.  What was making the folks on Fetlife angry was the perception that CollarMe is actively censoring all mention of that site as a "no competition" move.  Whether this perception is accurate or not, it has generated significant angry buzz over there.  It might be a good idea for someone who is directly involved in CM policy decision making to make a clear statement, if they are interested in quieting some of that buzz.  If they don't care then they don't care, but they might want to know that it's been a huge issue on that site and that CM is largely viewed with contempt for what is perceived as a cowardly act of "no-competition" censorship.   Again, I cannot speak to whether this perception is accurate, though there is no question that at one time the word "fetlife" was actively filtered on this site. 

It would be more productive for our community as a whole, I think, to ease relations a bit with a formal statement from the management.  It's up to them how they choose to respond, or not.  Both sites basically operate on a community service model, and hopefully CM will take the high road and choose a response that benefits the community as a whole.


I quite agree on the whole contempt issue between several members on here who migrated over. The sad part is a few who rant and rave over there are the same ones who while posting here will rant and rave the others who are labeled whiners. I just have to shake my head at the apparent idiocy! I guess that I have the POV that both can work along side each other and not have this friction which seems to be in the way.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 10:19:00 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild
I quite agree on the whole contempt issue between several members on here who migrated over. The sad part is a few who rant and rave over there are the same ones who while posting here will rant and rave the others who are labeled whiners. I just have to shake my head at the apparent idiocy! I guess that I have the POV that both can work along side each other and not have this friction which seems to be in the way.


The unfortunate part is that it's not just the whiners. A lot of good and decent people have their buttons seriously pushed by censorship issues, and they feel angry and outraged, and contempt for the cowardly censors, when they come across any example of censorship which they do not consider to be practically or ethically justified. 

I would definitely be in this group.  I am a strong proponent of free speech and have nothing but contempt for unjustified censorship.  I do fully understand the practical issues of moderating a site so that it remains usable, eg, not overrun with Nigerian spammers or trolls.  If the original reason for censoring the word "fetlife" was that somebody from there was spamming over here, I am in sympathy with a practical and reasonable site management decision.  If that was not the reason, then my opinion of such an act should, I trust, be quite clear. 

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: fetlife - 7/10/2009 10:47:40 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		STILL haven't figured out how to find a thread or post (where's the word post OR thread on the home page?).
I'm not much interested in groups either as i only play privately.
I can be anywhere in the UK in an hour's flight or maxi mum three hours drive and anywhere in europe maximum thrre hours flight. Maybe it's distance that makes US want to hook into groups?


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 40
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