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CreativeDominant -> RE: Submitting without knowing it? (7/10/2009 7:36:30 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PsychoBastrd
Is it possible for a woman to submit without realising she is actually doing it?
Just a thought after a comment made by a friend
Sure it is. Just as it is possible for a male to dominate others without realizing he is doing it. My brother is a good example of this, although his ways tend more towards the domineering side rather than the dominant side.
As noted, there are often times when a friend will ask you to do something and you will go ahead and do it because you like doing for others. Now, does that in itself indicate a submissive nature? No, because that would then imply that a dominant does not like doing for others unless it is at his initiation. In my work and in my personal life, I have requests made of me quite often...Doc, could you get this for me or Hey Bro, would you do that for me? When you look at it in one way, my doing these things is a submissive act BUT when looked at in another way, it is part of my nature to try and help people (tis one reason I chose the profession I did).
Can this knowledge be used to bring out the submissive nature in someone by a dominant? Sure it can. It is ironic but I had a fairly long conversation with a submissive last night and one of the things that came up was this very thing. We were discussing how submissives become tied...so to speak...to certain dominants. We discussed physical ways that can happen, things that occur during the complexity of BDSM play-sex-D/s interaction-during-the-play that can intensify the dominant-submissive bond and, in some cases...depending on what one is seeking from the encounter...strengthen the relationship between the two parties as well as the D/s dynamic We discussed mental things that can occur...simple little things like asking a submissive to look something up for the dominant and printing out what they have looked up and putting it together for the dominant. Now, on one hand that can be seen as just "doing something for a friend". If, however, the dominant making the request is also a dominant who the submissive interacts with not just on a friendly level but on a more "intimate" level, it can also be viewed as a submissive act that is occurring outside the bedroom/playroom. Especially if the submissive knows on some level, even an unconscious or unaware level, that she wouldn't do it for every dominant she knows...and especially if she knows at that same unconscious or unaware level that she would not even do it for every dominant that she plays with. This awareness of a submissive's nature is used by scrupulous, honest dominants who are genuinely concerned with building a deeper relationship with a submissive just as it is also used by those unscrupulous dominants who want to take advantage of a submissive's deeper submission...and thus deeper yielding and willingness to go along with more in the play and/or service arenas while the dominant holds back on his responsibilities. If you don't think this happens, go back and find those threads by happy submissives who "weren't quite sure how it happened" but they'd wound up in a marvelous D/s or M/s dynamic. Look at those threads where some submissives became happy slaves without realizing it until they were there. Visit those threads where the submissive WAS aware of what was happening and who marveled at the way it was handled by a skilled, responsible dominant. But also, if you don't think this happens, revisit some of those threads in which submissives have started out by stating how some "bastard, wannabe" dominant drew them in, drew out their submission, took over control easily and then, once they had all the goodie, disappeared or...if they hung around...began finding things that the submissive was doing "wrong". As I said, it was an interesting and long discussion because she could relate to some of what I was saying and I could also relate to it, having done some of that same drawing in myself...like almost any other dominant.
So, my answer to your question is...as noted...yes. And like many here, I see where submissive and dominant acts occur every day without there being an awareness of what is going on. But sometimes, even the awareness does not necessarily indicate the nature of the person.
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