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GYPZYQUEEN -> hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 9:34:16 AM)

Today I have read at least 10 profiles..posts...from men who say they are hot looking...nice looking..hansome...good looking..
plus their pics are there...to see anyway
 
WHY do some men feel the need to TELL that they think they are great looking?
I really feel that most women do not approach this the same.
IS it confidence..? ego? what they feel they have to offer?
 
DO men have a better attitude in general about looks
and women judge them sleves or allow judgement?
 
If you get a message or see a profile saying..hot looking sub/slave/D etc
what do you think?
 
GQ



sirsholly -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 9:42:48 AM)

quote:

WHY do some men feel the need to TELL that they think they are great looking?


It is a known fact that we never look at pictures...just read the profiles.

or is it the other way around? [sm=dunno.gif]



hlen5 -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 9:47:39 AM)

  I think men in general are more generous with themselves than women are. I wish more women could recognize themselves as beautiful. I wish that men weren't becoming more critical of themselves, as they seem to be to me.

One thing that is a pet peeve for me is seeing someone using a far harsher standard on the opposite sex then they obviously do for themselves.



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 9:52:27 AM)

I agree...just as I do  not like it when women run themsleves down I do nto like it when men run down their age..belly..intelligence etc.
 
It is about heart..and mind...to me anyway
 
 
 
 
GQ



vasha -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 9:55:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN


 
WHY do some men feel the need to TELL that they think they are great looking?
I really feel that most women do not approach this the same.
IS it confidence..? ego? what they feel they have to offer?
 
DO men have a better attitude in general about looks
and women judge them sleves or allow judgement?




with all due respect, when most men see a beautiful Woman,  the expctatoin is that she will want a good looking guy.  And you are.



peppermint -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 10:15:16 AM)

I find very few men good looking according to my own definition of those words.  When one tells me he's hot or good looking he instantly loses any chance of making the grade.  There is nothing uglier about a man than one who is so focused on looks that he has to tell me that I am supposed to see him as handsome. 

Reminds me of an anecdote I read in a biography.  The man was introduced to his friend's fiance.  He was appalled as he knew his good looking friend could have done much much better than the homely woman standing at his side.  Years later the man remembered his reaction.  He now considered this wonderful woman one of the most attractive women he knew.  She still looked the same but his perception of her had changed with discovering her lovely personality. 



SteelofUtah -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 10:20:50 AM)

I have a very strong opinion on this.

Perhaps I will be disagreed with but the proof is in the pudding.

I am Fat. Big Ol' Me. I am not what the world social whitwash considers "Hot...nice...good...looking..." However I have had more than my fair share of Sexual Trysts and dated women who were what some would consider WAY out of my league. Since a Gentleman does not kiss and tell I will leave the exact number a secret however it is more than 200.

Why if I am not the Essence of HAWTNESS am I afforded this ability?

Because I am Confident. I know I am a Sexy Bitch, and I know that even if YOU don't want me SHE will and She doesn't Her Friend Will.

I am not afraid of girls, I will confront ANYONE regardless of her status and look. I have dated strippers and models and all because I will go up to them and KNOW that I am JUST as good if not a better person than they are.

I will tell anyone I am a Sexy Bitch and most women have been attracted to me Confidence. The fact that I KNOW I am worth their time and often leave them wonderin if they are worth mine.

My wife is AMAZED that anywhere we go I make friends and spend some manner of time joking and being the center of attention ANYWHERE.

Truth of the matter is most men who are cocky and arrogant learned a long time ago that women flock to men who don't treat them like Princesses, In fact most women I have met who are very pretty HATE being told they are and if you point out how they are not perfect they tend to like you even more.

It happens here on collar me all the time with these beautiful women who long for a dominant to treat them like pond scum and tell them how worthless they are and how thier looks aren't shit.

What I find funny is that women are so harsh on their own looks and even women who REQUIRE a certain look of a guy can be talked out of her panties by a smooth talking confident Non Cro-magnum beef cake with dimples as long as he remembers she is just a person and no better or worse and worth no more or less then he is.

I will tell people all the time I KNOW I am sexy... because I am. Just because what I am does not meet what you think is sexy if you give me a chance I can show you just how sexy I am, and leave you wondering what you have been missing all this time by having a shallow concept of what sexy is.

So to the OP, I think it is Some Ego involved, but Ego isn't always a Bad thing, arrogance may be a negative thing but sadly women of today eat it up as I see more Attractive Women with Douch Bag Metro Sexual Jack Asses ever day.

I think that Men are less Scrutinizing on themselves but much more scrutinizing on the Opposite Sex. I do not think it is fair but it is the way I see things today. I think if more women would release themselves from the shallow shells of Mate selection then they would find themselves much happier with someone who is more Confident and Less Arrogant.

Steel



DesFIP -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 10:55:48 AM)

Because profiles written like that appeal to men, so they write a profile to appeal to themselves, simply with gender and orientation changed.

It's not like there's a FAQ on how to write a profile that is attractive to women.



Jeptha -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 11:02:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

Today I have read at least 10 profiles..posts...from men who say they are hot looking...nice looking..hansome...good looking..
plus their pics are there...to see anyway

WHY do some men feel the need to TELL that they think they are great looking?
They probably think women are interested in hearing about that detail.
quote:

I really feel that most women do not approach this the same.
I think guys feel they have to sell a little harder in order to stand out from the crowd, for one thing. A woman can say "I'm curious", and she's in, at least in the preliminary stages (I exaggerate a little, but I think you know what I mean). A guy has to pass muster a little more just to get considered. It's a logistical thing, I think.
quote:


IS it confidence..? ego? what they feel they have to offer?

DO men have a better attitude in general about looks
and women judge them sleves or allow judgement?
That's what people will say, but I'm not sure if it's true.
How about this theory: that there could be a loud, vocal and visible minority that comes to represent all men in people's minds, based on their experience.

For instance: Let's take a hypothetical city block with a convenience store on the corner. Let's say 50 men and 50 women live on the block.
Now, say one guy hangs out in front of the convenience store all day, every day harrassing people. It only takes a week or two or three for that one guy to harrass all 50 women on the block who go to that store. Now repeat this set-up for every block in the city (give or take.)

You could see how 2% of the guy population (the exceedingly loud and extroverted minority) could come to represent all of it in the practical experience of some people.

Could it be that you are viewing something of a "biased sample" (not sure if there's a better term for it) like that?
quote:


If you get a message or see a profile saying..hot looking sub/slave/D etc
what do you think?

GQ
The only thing like that that I ever get is obviously spam. If I thought it was from a real person, I'd discount the beauty claim somewhat, but I would check it out.




CatdeMedici -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 11:43:38 AM)

A few years ago, I taught a class to the City of New Orleans public workers around self-esteem.
 
My research indicated that when men look in the mirror, they find three things they like about themselves, women find three things they hate about themselves---I rest My case.
 



OttersSwim -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 12:31:38 PM)

It's part of the #1 rule of salesmanship!

Tell 'em what you are gonna tell 'em:

"You are clearly a woman of distinction looking for, and deserving of, a handsome guy!"

Then, tell 'em:

"I am a handsome guy!"

Then tell 'em what you told 'em:

"Because I am so fit, manly, and attractive, you should act now as Mistresses are lining up for my consideration!"

[;)]





LdyWintershade -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 1:34:33 PM)

I have to agree with Steel on this issue; as a rule confidence can make the difference.  I too, am BBW and I know I'm sexy.  However, I believe that sexiness is an attitude, an 'air' rather than a look.  There is also a large difference, in my opinion, between being confident and being cocky.  It can be a fine line which some walk very well. :)  However, I think it is also worth saying that a person's personality can make or break half their looks, at least.  I have seen some very hot people who are drop-dead gorgeous .....until they open their mouths.  Conversely, I have dated some people who were average, (being a bit generous a term), but were exceptional people which made them so much more attractive.

As for the OP, all I can say is that yes, I do think men have less pressure put on them and therefore, have more confidence that women.  A sad commentary on our society, but true nontheless.
For my part, I also have a different perspective depending on whether it is a Dominant profile or a submissive/slave profile.  I expect Dom/mes to be confident, over-confident and down right ego-centric...nature of the beast, more often than not.  However, a sub/slave who is telling me how hot they are is a turn off to me.  Some may find it appealing or even challenging to deal with a vain slave, but I prefere my subservients to be humble.  Not suffering from low self-esteem, but humble.
 - I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death, your right to say it.



subtlebutterfly -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 3:01:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

A few years ago, I taught a class to the City of New Orleans public workers around self-esteem.
 
My research indicated that when men look in the mirror, they find three things they like about themselves, women find three things they hate about themselves---I rest My case.
 


For once..I must disagree with you, partly.
In general I do agree..however on this site I believe a huge segment of the dominas are either delusional or simply..well..too good at finding what they like about themselves.[8|]



RedMagic1 -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 3:30:28 PM)

Meeeeee-owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

That said, I agree with you.[;)]

On topic: it's lousy salesmanship, not good salesmanship, to start out with "I'm attractive."  You don't want to lead -- first line -- with something that is a matter of opinion, and something someone could disagree with.  State things about yourself that are unequivocally TRUE.  "I am a father of three and that is the most important thing in my life."  "I always wanted to be an artist, but I became a store manager to pay the bills, and now that the kids have moved out of the house I have enrolled in a welding sculpture class."  Stuff like that.

It doesn't have to be, "I just got back from climbing Kilimanjaro."  It just needs to be something that is real, personal, and unique to you.  That's how you stand out from the crowd -- by being real.



LadyPact -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 4:14:37 PM)

I'm going with the easy answer.  Males are visual and believe that females are, too.  Many think that, on the surface, the outward appearance is enough to catch the eye.  In some cases, it is.  This is why things such as pin up posters create revenue.  The same with hot porn and any other sales venues that mix aesthetically pleasing and sexual yearnings. 

When "Men Are From Mars, Woman Are From Venus" came out, part of it's success related directly to the fact that men and women do not think or communicate alike.  It brought to the forefront the fact that many of us have different thought patterns drawn between gender lines.  This is more or less the same thing, based on how the genders relate to visual stimuli.



justme1980 -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 5:19:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

I agree...just as I do  not like it when women run themsleves down I do nto like it when men run down their age..belly..intelligence etc.
 
It is about heart..and mind...to me anyway
 
 
 
 
GQ


Heart and mind, yes that would be nice, but we as a society to not care about that. if you don't look like a model for GQ or Playboy, you will be passed on.
I have looked at many profiles and the first thing that alot of people, both men and women put down is "attractive" not a kind heart, not character or high morals, it's all about the looks



nevergrowdup -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 6:04:58 PM)

I agree with Steel; attitude/confidence is a very strong draw.  It's funny how so many guys will compromise a position or say just about anything to get laid.  As I go through the flirtation phase, I tend to challenge guys.  It's not intentional, but it comes out.  How they deal with that is very telling.  If he gives into me, or if he gets defensive, it's so over.  IMO, the real trick is being respectful of differences, yet at the same time maintaining your ground.

And I agree with RedMagic; I don't think women want to hear about how handsome they are ... particularly when they have a picture up.  Get me interested in the person inside, and I'll find beauty on the outside.



kiwisub12 -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 6:29:44 PM)

I'm hawt tends to be written by someone who has gotten by in life with their looks.  I'm interesting and here is why is written by someone who had to try a little harder.

I know who i would be more interested in.



Highlandsub -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 7:16:51 PM)

Steel, I have to agree with you. I have had my share of dates with "out of my league" women, and I think it is because I am not afraid to approach them and talk to them like they are just people.....because they are. One of the best things you can have is confidence, and a sense of humor.
As for the OP, I think people are trying to set themselves apart and display a bit of confidence. I think however that looks are subjective. I have been told by some that I am attractive, and others have said.....not so much. No big deal. You have to set yourself apart, especially if you are in my position, sub male looking for a female. So I think its people just trying to show a little confidence, and self esteem.



stella41b -> RE: hot..nice..good...looking... (7/6/2009 7:40:29 PM)

Being good looking or visually attractive is all well and good on a photo, but people tend to pay more attention to how you project yourself and come across to them.

And I would even suggest that this is the case irrespective of gender.



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