RE: how do you not worry all the time?

RE: how do you not worry all the time? (Full Version)

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SavageFaerie -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 6:45:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rainfire quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Paxil, Zoloft, Valium. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a bitch. [sm=goodpost.gif] [sm=agree.gif] [sm=goodpost.gif] [sm=agree.gif] [sm=goodpost.gif] I've had GAD for years - I've learned my triggers, although sometimes things creep up on me. Next thing I know, I'm in a tizzy, the mind is racing and I'm just a dithering mess. Xanax is my friend. Thank God Lumus understands and can help me calm down, though when the thoughts get racing at night and I can't sleep, I just tell myself "what would Daddy have me do?" and go from there, usually while snuggled up against Him and listening to Him snore. Rain I have GAD along with socialized anxiety disorder. the only thing that get me out of those tizzies are what you take. When you can sleep or hell when you not doing anything in particular for that matter does your thought process just zone in on one thing? I have the tendency to get alot of thoughts on different things and it feels like sometimes it like a demolition derby going on in my head.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 6:47:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jeninvegas so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details... Just read a bunch of the stuff above...all excellent advice. I'm 50, so I have a few years on you (i.e., experience), but the best way to stop worrying (in my opinion) is to realize none of the shit you're worrying about is going to matter in 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years. Having been through stuff (multiple times) that seemed devastating to me at the time, literally putting me into panics wherein which I didn't sleep for 2, 3 or 4 days concerned about money, my future, whether or not I had enough skills in life to succeed, assets, relationships, pick one...or more....think back a year ago or so on the times when you thought (or fretted) about any of those (or other) things. Are they still a concern? Probably not. Did any more than 2% of the stuff you feared would happen...happen? Probably not. And the 2% that actually did happen....came in at waaaaaaay below 1 on the Richter scale, when you were certain it was going to topple buildings. Put that in your head the next time you're freaking about something and then realize....you'll get through it (because everyone eventually does) it ain't shit.... (And and it never was [;)]....it never will be).

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 6:49:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Loki45 Watch Fight Club. A lot of the 'lessons' Tyler Durden tries to teach Ed Norton's character are true. You have to develop the ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide. And it also helps to learn that most things that we're worried about really don't matter. Not that much. Most things in our lives turn out just fine. Once you come to understand that, there's really not much to worry about.

girlygurl -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 6:52:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven You're a submissive. Have you ever had a Dom who made you feel like you could just relax, because he was making the big decisions and not you? That's just one of the many services that Doms provide. We're also very good in bed. Amen to that!!!

LotusSong -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 7:21:27 PM)
A long time ago... I decided that there are only two things you can do in any given situation; something or nothing. If you can do something..then do it. If not.. bless it and let it go. This helped me to learn acceptance.

autoRelease -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 7:37:00 PM)
I second recommendation of Buddhist philosophy. Try reading The Power of Now.

littlewonder -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 8:23:04 PM)
spirituality, therapy, meds, alcohol in that order

kuriouswitch -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/2/2009 8:55:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jeninvegas so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details... This is something I deal with all the time, and there are even times I'll ask the same question a million different ways just to see if I get a different answer. Master teases me and calls me his little worrier.

Rainfire -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 4:04:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig My ex-wife is a worrier, and it used to drive her crazy that I didn't worry about things. I have a really simple rule I follow: If the situation is one I can do something about, then I figure out what to do about it, and I no longer worry about it as I have taken steps to resolve the situation. If the situation is one I cannot do something about, then I do not worry about it as there is nothing I can do about it. I realise this sounds very simplistic, but this technique works for me, it took me some time to learn it, but whenever something started worrying me I just sat down and did the above exercise. In time it becomes second nature, and I rarely worry about things now. [8\|] You sound just like Lumus, Arpig. I'll be worrying like crazy, getting into a dither or massively stressed about something and He'll just look at me and say "so what the fuck are you worrying about? There's not a damned thing you can do about it so don't let it bother you. When you can do something about it, just do it and stop stressing." That usually gets me to stop a little and find something to distract me, like a book, knitting, a game or movie. Or come on here and bring my attitude to the boards. [:D]

Rainfire -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 4:14:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SavageFaerie Rain I have GAD along with socialized anxiety disorder. the only thing that get me out of those tizzies are what you take. When you can sleep or hell when you not doing anything in particular for that matter does your thought process just zone in on one thing? I have the tendency to get alot of thoughts on different things and it feels like sometimes it like a demolition derby going on in my head. My mind gets going 10,000 miles a minute at times and that really messes up my sleep. I literally have to take a Xanax before bed because otherwise I keep waking up anxious and mind racing. Sometimes, even on the Xanax, that still happens. And the mind zooms along so badly that I have a hard time falling asleep. It can take me anywhere from 1/2 hour to an hour to fall asleep, even on meds. Now, the flip side of that is that I've learned to think quickly and harness the potential good in this at times. My mind will be quite a bit a head planning and organizing things, even for the simplest things. The trick is to not let them stress me out when things don't go according to plans. The wedding last year was almost a disaster because of the evacuation and total chaos of the day before the wedding and the morning of it. Gawds, was it a disaster! [:(]

pahunkboy -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 5:54:06 AM)
I am not a big fan of pills. It could take me 3 years to get off the crap I am on. RXs really mess with you. One causes the need for another. Don't get me wrong- I feel people should have a choice... and certainly meds have a time and place. This week I took my meds down a small bit more. One DR is supportive- the other DR went off on a tantrum. You have to watch psychotrophics. We are what we eat. In so many ways. I have felt abit better since detoxing. It is hard... but I am seeing a pay off. There is too much junk science...

SavageFaerie -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 6:08:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rainfire My mind gets going 10,000 miles a minute at times and that really messes up my sleep. I literally have to take a Xanax before bed because otherwise I keep waking up anxious and mind racing. Sometimes, even on the Xanax, that still happens. And the mind zooms along so badly that I have a hard time falling asleep. It can take me anywhere from 1/2 hour to an hour to fall asleep, even on meds. Now, the flip side of that is that I've learned to think quickly and harness the potential good in this at times. My mind will be quite a bit a head planning and organizing things, even for the simplest things. The trick is to not let them stress me out when things don't go according to plans. The wedding last year was almost a disaster because of the evacuation and total chaos of the day before the wedding and the morning of it. Gawds, was it a disaster! [:(] In talking to my Dr about just this issue, he put me on a 2mg dose at night, not only to stop the racing thoughts but to double as m sleeping medication which cut out one medication I was taking for that, he told me it wasn't necessary to take 2 benzos when one was all that was necessary. I was taking restoril. So times I feel like yelling and telling my thought to get a grip and just concentrate on one thing at a time... Or just stop already. It like being at a party and trying to keep up with a dozen conversations. poen also did what Lumas said and This past week my thoughts were in a pretty constant state of chaos over a medical problem. While its easy to say that pulling it off is very hard for me, I'm not wired to just accept and not obsess about it, didn't work my brain is just not wired to sluff things off and let it be. I have decreased my xanax dose with the exception of my morning and night meds, depending on the day I will slip the other doses which is a maintenance dose to keep the anxiety down. I have tried non medicated ways but have found that while I can relax it does not turn my mind off

LaTigresse -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 10:39:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda quote: ORIGINAL: Loki45 Watch Fight Club. A lot of the 'lessons' Tyler Durden tries to teach Ed Norton's character are true. You have to develop the ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide. And it also helps to learn that most things that we're worried about really don't matter. Not that much. Most things in our lives turn out just fine. Once you come to understand that, there's really not much to worry about. Ditto.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 3:03:16 PM)
My motto is 'everything will be jusssst fine' and 99,9% of the time it does. My parents say I care to little..probably stems from them caring too much about every single thing to the point of it being creepy. Also going from an A student to an F one in one year taught me more than anybody has eva been able to teach me about worries..for some reason. So now it's basically.. if it doesn't hurt me or anyone else, I believe there's nothing to worry about...and if something fails you just try again and do better next time... also..we all die eventually and even breathing kills you so yepyep...no need to worry.[:)]

LookieNoNookie -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 6:46:24 PM)
(Look at all these great people trying to give you gold.....it's good stuff kiddo.....). Write this shit down! Ohhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

peachgirl -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 7:15:53 PM)
does anyone remember the Ken & Bob show on L.A. radio? they had a great motto, one that I adopted... EGBOK...everything's gonna be o.k. it had a catchy tune, too but I can't really sing.

porcelaine -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/3/2009 9:03:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jeninvegas so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details... you learn to control your mind and to silence it. there was once a technique where a person was required to sit down and record themselves. to literally utter all the things that came to mind. when they played the tapes back many were shocked at how much crap the mind encounters, most of it is nonsense that will never occur. meditation has proven to be a useful technique, some utilize journaling as well. the important thing is having a conduit to get the stuff out and then to ground yourself and learn to settle down. anxiety is usually associated with perceived fears and most of the time the things you imagine never come to pass. yoga may also be a very good way to bring on the peaceful state you need. walking never hurts and many times when i'm chewing on something i will walk to clear my head. the important thing is finding what works for you and to reinforce it with positive behavior. once you free yourself from the junk you must refill the vessel with words that inspire and encourage. this site offers some good suggestions and has a positive message each day that you might enjoy.

KateyCaine -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/4/2009 2:30:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jeninvegas so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details... Oh, to have the answer to that one!!! Being free of worry and stupid anxieties would be GREAT :) k.

MakeMeSmile4U -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/4/2009 2:34:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth Also, here's a little heuristic I like to follow: 1) Can I do something about this (whatever I'm worrying about)? A) If YES, branch to 2. B) If NO, branch to 5. C) If MAYBE, branch to 8. 2) I have effect on the situation. Is it time-critical that I affect the situation immediately? (i.e., is there a "window of opportunity" that will pass if I don't act quickly?) A) If YES, branch to 3. B) If NO, branch to 8. 3) It doesn't matter if what I'm about to do is the most effective thing to do; something needs to be done, and I'm in a position to do it. Let's get it done, and later, when we have the luxury of more time, we can re-examine and learn lessons for handling things more efficiently next time. 4) While working, did we make a mess that needs to be cleaned up, or leave any dangling/unresolved issues? A) If YES, branch back to 1. B) If NO, branch to 5. C) If MAYBE, branch to 8. 5) Well, look at that. We don't have anything positive to contribute to the situation. Time to move on! Relax; make yourself a drink. Go for a walk. Invite some friends over for homemade cheesecake. Isn't life nice? 6) Are we still worrying about things we don't need to fix or can't control anyways? Why? 7) While we've been tracing back all the reasons why we're worrying about things we can't control, have we found something we CAN control? A) If YES, branch back to 1. B) If NO, branch back to 5. C) if MAYBE, branch back to 8. 8) Huh. We're not quite sure what's going on. We need more data! 9) Guess what? "Needing more data" is a thing we can do something about! Branch back to 1! THAT is AWESOME!!! Thank you so much.

MakeMeSmile4U -> RE: how do you not worry all the time? (7/4/2009 2:48:02 AM)
OP, I had an issue several months ago similar to this. I would find myself worrying over every little thing. I'd worry, I'd cry, I'd feel like a fruitcake.... It got to the point where my Dominant felt the need to pull me into a 'vanilla' meeting. He explained that he was talking to me as a friend, not as my lover or my Dom. He said he saw how these episodes were becoming more frequent and more intense. He then went back into "Dom mode" and gave me an assignment: I was to learn how to deal with those episodes of fear and worry and anxiety in a positive manner. I did a lot of research that got me nowhere. I already "knew" that I shouldnt worry about things I had no control over, I just couldnt seem to stop that destructive behavior. To make a long story longer (hehehe, I'm almost done, I swear...) I did a little bit of introspection, made notes in my calendar about what set me off and when, and then I took that info to my doctor. I was diagnosed with PMDD, pre-menstrual dysfunction disorder, or some shit. Its a real thing. He put me on a low dose of prozac and DAMN if I'm not doing a whole lot better. I'm not saying that meds are the cure-all. I'm just saying that sometimes the issue of worry and fear can be a bit out of your realm of control. Definitely talk to your friends, your family, whomever your biggest supporters are, but also talk to your doctor. Good luck!!!

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