Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles

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Lockit -> Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 12:15:01 PM)
I do have to admit that I am starting this thread on a sour note after reading a thing or two. I have had disagreements with other dominants over someone we each looked at differently. One would say they were polite or respectful where I might see brown nosing and kiss ass, setting someone up with pretty words. Some might say I was jaded or fearful or many things they might see my take on it as and I must say if it is anything, I am simply bitchy or turned off or rolling my eyes, when I see what I think is buttering someone up to get what they want. It is disgusting to me because I feel it is manipulation. So here is the situation. A submissive person comes on all humble like. “I’m just the submissive it isn’t my right to ask this of you.” Then why ask? If you had no right to ask, then why did you ask?! “You are the ones with power, the dominant, I shouldn’t tell you what to do or ask anything of you.” “I am not a do me, I want a relationship and I am not about to direct things as a lowly submissive.” Yet they are telling you how it is supposed to be! I don’t think a dominant needs to be told who does what and be reminded that they have the power over a lowly submissive showing he knows his place. I find assumed power in a title distasteful. So they can present better than most in the written word and they express themselves and that is a major plus, but because they can do this, it seems they use it to manipulate. “See me… I am sooooo good… I understand… I know my place… see me… see… don’t you see and if you don’t… here read my profile and you will see that I am real.” Does anyone see the sense of false humble and manipulation that I see? It’s like we should be impressed with all that lowly submissive talk or something. I would rather see someone speak as a friend or someone not trying to impress me with anything other than who they are. I don’t like to be told how impressive they are as a submissive and just want the straight talk between one person to another. I see dominants doing the same things. They flex their dominant muscles and tell you how long they have been in the ‘lifestyle’ and all they can do and if that doesn’t prove it, they show you their toys. It is different than an assurance of what they know and do and seems more a promotion of themselves. Does anyone see this like I do? What do you think when you see someone presenting themselves as a title type thing and acting as one should in that place rather than just being themselves or am I seeing it that way and its not really that way?

LaTigresse -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 12:17:33 PM)
Yes, I see it and I either ignore it, or laugh. Sometimes I like to make fun of them.......if I am bored and want to watch them implode.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 12:35:42 PM)
It kind of irritates me when Ppeople put on an act, fakery pisses me off. Why can't Tthey just be Tthemselves? Be Yyourself and Yyour true Dominant or submissive nature, as the case may be, will show through. As a submissive, i think subs that brown-nose to try & get what they want are manipulative and trying to Top from the bottom, which both irritate and disgusts me.....that's not true submission in my opinion. i just try to avoid the fakes, Tthey're a waste of my time, i have better things to do. ~edited to add the last sentence~

leadership527 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 12:39:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit What do you think when you see someone presenting themselves as a title type thing and acting as one should in that place rather than just being themselves or am I seeing it that way and its not really that way? The guy in the lamborghini does not need to drag the kid in the souped up civic out of the stop light just because the kid revs his engine. Everyone already knows who won. Strutting, whether done from a submissive or dominant viewpoint is just that... strutting... and it is a sign of weakness. In my case, of course, I really AM all that so it's just being honest. EDITED TO ADD: reading sweetsub's post above though brought in important point to mind. One needs to be careful when you interpret the actions of others. For instance, the whole capitalization thing she is doing reads to me as the exact sort of strutting you're talking about in your original post Lockit. Knowing some of her other posts, I let it pass by since I know that cannot be correct. The kid in the civic might've just been testing his motor to see if all cylinders are firing. It might not have had anything at all to do with the lamborghini next to him.

Lockit -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 12:41:45 PM)
LOL Leadership! I love it... so true!

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:05:57 PM)
The only reason I do the capitalization thing is so as to not piss other people off. I've gotten my ass chewed by people more than once for not doing it before. I would much rather capitalize according to proper English usage, like I am in this post. I think I will start doing that now. Thank you leadership527, I did not intend to come across that way. [;)]

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:11:33 PM)
I would tell any one who tried to toung lash me they could sit on it and spin. People who're not my dom, and do not have permission from my dom to correct me don't toung lash or demand shit from me. quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 The only reason I do the capitalization thing is so as to not piss other people off. I've gotten my ass chewed by people more than once for not doing it before. I would much rather capitalize according to proper English usage, like I am in this post. I think I will start doing that now. Thank you leadership527, I did not intend to come across that way. [;)]

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:14:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom I would tell any one who tried to toung lash me they could sit on it and spin. People who're not my dom, and do not have permission from my dom to correct me don't toung lash or demand shit from me. quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 The only reason I do the capitalization thing is so as to not piss other people off. I've gotten my ass chewed by people more than once for not doing it before. I would much rather capitalize according to proper English usage, like I am in this post. I think I will start doing that now. Thank you leadership527, I did not intend to come across that way. [;)] I think she was just trying to be polite....

Opheliakink -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:14:55 PM)
I have seen this and tend to ignore it, I've seen it on both sides. If someone isn't willing to be themself, then i'm not willing to spend the time trying to decipher who they really are.

Lockit -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:16:42 PM)
I can see Leadership's point in being careful when interpreting someone's intentions. Yet, I think that is how I function... by my interpretation of whatever I see. When I have told myself to not be so something or other and give people a chance to prove me wrong or something to that effect, I am often sorry I did! lol I learned to listen to my gut instincts and experience to determine many things and not to doubt them. When I feel someone is playing a game, I don't just go on that, I wait things out and let whatever is going on be proved to me in a more solid way most of the time, but sometimes... I just roll my eyes and go with my gut. lol I know I can be seen in different ways and people have been shocked at how much heart I have because they see me outside my posts. I have had different posting styles through the years and have become very direct and maybe even jaded or judgemental at times. I do try to look at this. But sometimes you know someone is just trying to impress or smooth talk their way into something and it is just a turn off. I want to see who they are, not who they think they need to be because of a title basically. There was a guy I was talking to that did the slave talk in a serious way. I finally just told him to stop it and stop it now and talk to me without it and just as one person to another. Actually I have talked to a number of men who did this but this one stands out far more. All of a sudden I was talking to another person and I asked questions of course. He did it because he thought it was expected by all dominants and it was the way it was supposed to be and he wanted to impress me. I was far more impressed with the person he was after he stopped trying to impress me.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:19:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom I would tell any one who tried to toung lash me they could sit on it and spin. People who're not my dom, and do not have permission from my dom to correct me don't toung lash or demand shit from me. quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 The only reason I do the capitalization thing is so as to not piss other people off. I've gotten my ass chewed by people more than once for not doing it before. I would much rather capitalize according to proper English usage, like I am in this post. I think I will start doing that now. Thank you leadership527, I did not intend to come across that way. [;)] Thank you Toppingfrmbottom! It was mostly when I was writing to other Doms still trying to meet the "right one." One thing I'm still not clear on, am I supposed to be capitalizing "Dom/me or not?" I don't want to posture or suck up, because I hate that.

Lockit -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:24:10 PM)
I use a capital where a capital is called for in sentence structure or when using someone's name. If someone likes to be decapped or capped, I will try to work with that, but as a whole I wouldn't expect anyone to do it as a sign of anything unless they were asked to by someone that mattered to them. I have capped a persons nickname or name and they felt very uncomfortable with it. I would try to adjust to that but it wasn't something that came easily to me! I often will just type their name just as they have it. If it really matters sweetsub... people will tell you.

RCdc -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:24:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom I would tell any one who tried to toung lash me they could sit on it and spin. People who're not my dom, and do not have permission from my dom to correct me don't toung lash or demand shit from me. quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 The only reason I do the capitalization thing is so as to not piss other people off. I've gotten my ass chewed by people more than once for not doing it before. I would much rather capitalize according to proper English usage, like I am in this post. I think I will start doing that now. Thank you leadership527, I did not intend to come across that way. [;)] Thank you Toppingfrmbottom! It was mostly when I was writing to other Doms still trying to meet the "right one." One thing I'm still not clear on, am I supposed to be capitalizing "Dom/me or not?" I don't want to posture or suck up, because I hate that. sweetsub - do what feels comfortable for you. If slash type suits you, then do that. If you don't like capitalizing, then don't. If you want to write dominant or dom, then it's all cool. Unless you are happy fulfilling someone elses protocol, then do whatever comes naturally or easy to you and fuck the rest. Look at it this way - someone somewhere is going to misjudge you or think you are 'posturing' whatever you do. Be yourself and rock your way. People who are worth being a friend or worth anything to you, will accept and love you however you are and whatever you do. the.dark.

LaTigresse -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:26:01 PM)
I agree with Dark. If anyone gets the boxers or panties bunched, it's their problem. Really.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:28:40 PM)
Thanks everybody. I've been liberated by proper English usage. Yay! [:D]

RCdc -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:37:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I do have to admit that I am starting this thread on a sour note after reading a thing or two. I have had disagreements with other dominants over someone we each looked at differently. One would say they were polite or respectful where I might see brown nosing and kiss ass, setting someone up with pretty words. Some might say I was jaded or fearful or many things they might see my take on it as and I must say if it is anything, I am simply bitchy or turned off or rolling my eyes, when I see what I think is buttering someone up to get what they want. It is disgusting to me because I feel it is manipulation. So here is the situation. A submissive person comes on all humble like. “I’m just the submissive it isn’t my right to ask this of you.” Then why ask? If you had no right to ask, then why did you ask?! “You are the ones with power, the dominant, I shouldn’t tell you what to do or ask anything of you.” “I am not a do me, I want a relationship and I am not about to direct things as a lowly submissive.” Yet they are telling you how it is supposed to be! I don’t think a dominant needs to be told who does what and be reminded that they have the power over a lowly submissive showing he knows his place. I find assumed power in a title distasteful. So they can present better than most in the written word and they express themselves and that is a major plus, but because they can do this, it seems they use it to manipulate. “See me… I am sooooo good… I understand… I know my place… see me… see… don’t you see and if you don’t… here read my profile and you will see that I am real.” Does anyone see the sense of false humble and manipulation that I see? It’s like we should be impressed with all that lowly submissive talk or something. I would rather see someone speak as a friend or someone not trying to impress me with anything other than who they are. I don’t like to be told how impressive they are as a submissive and just want the straight talk between one person to another. I see dominants doing the same things. They flex their dominant muscles and tell you how long they have been in the ‘lifestyle’ and all they can do and if that doesn’t prove it, they show you their toys. It is different than an assurance of what they know and do and seems more a promotion of themselves. Does anyone see this like I do? What do you think when you see someone presenting themselves as a title type thing and acting as one should in that place rather than just being themselves or am I seeing it that way and its not really that way? Forgive my transgression for answering sweetsub before your OP. The whole 'must do protocols' erks me and I just feel for people who have been given the impression that there is a certain way to do things instead of just being oneself. In answer to your OP, I don't really judge people by what they say or do but the way they are. I know that someone, somewhere judges how I present my life and my reality with Master as being a know all or any other number of negative assumptions, so I am very aware that when I look at the way someone is behaving, I may very well be wrong about them. Without knowing someones history or life experiences all I am doing is impressing my own personal experience onto their behaviour, and that is just plain wrong for me. I don't laugh at people. I don't get upset by them and I certainly don't get concerned as long as I am being myself as far as I am concerned. the.dark.

Lockit -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 1:54:21 PM)
Thank you .dark! I always value your take on things! So... I am thinking, thinking, thinking here! lol

DesFIP -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 2:16:03 PM)
First, to address the slashy speak stuff since it annoys the hell out of me. It's a protocol in chat rooms, not in real life. I've never turned to him and said "Honey would capital Y you like a cup of tea?". And my own view about people who try to dominate others in a chat room is that they're rude because they don't have the right to dominate anyone except for the person who submits to them. As far as the rest of it, the sub saying they're not worthy to ask the question and suchlike, I take that as meaning this is the first time, or close to it, they've emerged from porn and chat rooms. They don't know better because this is how it's done in porn and in chat. Just correct them gently and suggest they learn how it's done in the real world.

leadership527 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 2:43:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 The only reason I do the capitalization thing is so as to not piss other people off. I've gotten my ass chewed by people more than once for not doing it before. I would much rather capitalize according to proper English usage, like I am in this post. I think I will start doing that now. Thank you leadership527, I did not intend to come across that way. [;)] laughs Perfect sweetsub. I hereby authorize you to blame all future proper use of english on me. Feel free to send 'em my way when they whine and moan.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Flexing your dominant or submissive muscles (6/23/2009 3:22:36 PM)
hahaha lmao!!!!

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