RE: what shall I do with this? (Full Version)

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Whenready -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 1:58:21 AM)

So... he wants to fuck other women - but he wants you to be proven clean.... you have no rights... he can do what he likes. As other posters have said, you can take it or leave it. Whatever you ask, his answer (as reported here) appears to be as above. Seems a straightforward enough choice.




MsValentine -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 2:20:30 AM)

Even if the crayon/indian ink images which magically reappeared when you spoke to him were 'real' and returned like a burn, it could just be a coincidence. Most times in life, the simplest answer is most likely to be the truthful one.

Does he have magical powers. NO...that is the simplest answer. Could it have been an allergy or psychosomatic or simply the most probably and most reasonable answer of all...coincidence. It just happened.

I get an itch which recurs quite often in the same place over and over, so does my sub paul. Seemingly inexplicable occurrences do not have to be called supernatural or magical just because we do not at this time know what is happening. They are simply just odd things that happen.

If you truly think that believing a Master when he tells you that you were made for each other on the basis of a mark on your body appearing and disappearing occasionally then, I guess there is no help for you. We must try to behave as rationally as possible in this world as rationality is what helps us see and think clearly.





sirsholly -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 4:18:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

You either stay and suck it up or you leave. Simple really.
yep.




Drakontos -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 4:30:49 AM)

quote:

Drakontos he said to me like you said, no right to demand,expect or assume do or not do anything, BUT, he never told me in that area with seeing others, anything about it, he only told me that I was not allowed to. See, first now he tells me,when I ask. otherwise he would never told me.

Either you are a submissive in this relationship; in which you have the right to question; or you are a slave and don't have that right. Make up your mind. From my own perspective, you have no rights to assume, or expect anything. If he wants to fuck other girls, he has that right. The only choice you have is whether or not this is the kind of relationship you want or not.

Stop making excuses for yourself and for him. Either deal with it; or leave.




stella41b -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 4:37:44 AM)

I just see a situation which is being complicated to the nth degree.

You either accept what the dom says or you don't, at which point you withdraw consent and also withdraw this person from your life. It really is that simple.

Anything over and above that is drama.




sweetsub1957 -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 4:37:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave
the guy even wants to do a bonding ritual, that would permanently bind us! for eternity!

Mona, if you have studied the spiritual, you must know what happens if you cast a binding spell on someone innocent, who does not want to be bound.  Do good things happen to the person who casts that spell, or bad things?



monaslave, it will come back to bite the spellcaster in the ass.....threefold, the way i've been taught.




angelikaJ -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 4:41:14 AM)

It seems like you really, really want the element of escape.

Personally, I would not become a slave to someone I have never met.

You come here basically asking what do we think about... and the question really should be "What do You [mona] think about...?"
We can't answer for you and the input the majority of us have given you, well, you just don't heed.

Only you can answer the important questions:
Why is this man so important to you that you are considering the option of being in a relationship with him where he gets to fuck around on you (something you don't seem to want)?

What is missing from your life to such a degree that you are considering the possibility of dying for him?

I think you are here asking because it bothers you... you know there is something rotten.
I just don't understand why you aren't listening to your gut.






sweetsub1957 -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 5:46:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

I need your advice, I know I written about this before but now I have talked to the Dom, and heres his answers,
hes telling me... 
youre a slave and youre owned, and its without limits, you cant make any demands. You dont own your Dom.
slaves don't have as many "rights" as subs, this is true so far as i can tell, which is why i would never be a slave.
if I have any deseases you might get you have to accept it. if I have countless others you have to accept it.
He obviously does not give a rat's ass about your  health to be so nonchalant about passing you diseases.  What kind of Master doesn't care about the health of His slave/doesn't care for His property?
faithfulness for a slave is to be obedient and sincere.faithfulness for a Dom is to still be Master for his slave and to be serious about his role.
If He were really serious about His role, He would not be so careless and without responsibility  as to be willing to knowingly pass on diseases to you and not care.
yes he sees once in a while others and so it will be in the future as well.(what the --does he mean by that?)
It means He is, and will continue to be, fucking other people, or at the very least being intimate in some way with them.
hes got no deseases since hes got tested since last time,but hey cant we all just say.
Maybe right now He's got no diseases, but for how long will that last if He's fucking other people?  Whenever He fucks someone, He is fucking their entire sexual history, and shit rolls downhill and guess what?  YOU'RE on the BOTTOM.
there is more but this is the replies I got. what do you think.
i think he is fucking other people and is going to continue doing so, and does not care if he gives you STDs.
I mean, he has forbidden me to have others,but we have never talked about it,and now hes telling me hes seeing others once in a while.  have to ask what that means. but as you read at first, he mean I have to accept as many he is doing,sort of. That would be fine,if we had talked about it,but we have not!
Again, this means you are not to "have others" but He can fuck whoever He wants to.  Like it or leave, it's your choice.  Slaves do have the right to un-choose their Masters & ultimately walk.  It also means you should have discussed this before you agreed to be His slave, but refer to the preceding sentence for my opinion on this.
so,what is your suggestions to how I handle this?
and dont mock me,this is a serious problem now.
i am not mocking you.  i am dead serious.



quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

it was indian ink colors. and it wasnt even hard. its there.like a burn,whatever  I do. how would you get that away? I mean,if I was that allergic I would had got reactions on my skin like red,yes? I didnt.at all. it was there out of thin air.
i don't know how that happened, but i don't think that's what should be telling you whether to stay with this guy or not.  It should be your own common sense telling you that one way or the other.  i think the whole situation is a little whacky, but that's just me.
I know slaves as usual has no rights yadda-yadda, but, they do use to know what is expected also about fucking around.
Well, now you do know what is expected.  i say "Deal with it, one way or the other."
He says to me ´once in a while´seeing others,I dont know what the fuck that means.
Again, it means HE IS FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE.
you know in our culture it could be all from multiple slaves to fuckbuddies to just a fuck. you dont know before you ask.
So ask.
youre right about deseases your damn right.  I wonder if he ever thought of he might get deseases from his "fuck buddies".
but hey,if I try talk this out with him he will only state "youre a slave no rights" talk with me,when its not what I am talking about.
or shall I just say to him,hey,you lied to me?
He knows He withheld the full truth.  i'm sure He intended to.  But then from His point of view, you never asked.  Plus, now you do know what His intentions are.  The way i see it, you have some decisions to make and you still do have the last word.  You can stay or walk.....your choice.
I dont know what the fuck to say.
He obviously does not care about your health & not giving you STDs, was not straight-up with you from the start.  i would say "F*ck off.....SIR," and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.



You are 35 years old.  Use your common sense.  i think you know what you want to do, but you want Uus to tell you what to do.  That's not for Uus to say.  you have gotten many good replies here, now make a choice.  YOU are the one who will have to live with the consequences of that choice, so YOU need to take some personal responsibility and make the decision to stay or go.  He's made it perfectly clear how things are going to be if you stay.  Are you willing to stay, knowing that? 

Also, i noticed when i perved your profile, it says you are Actively Seeking Dominant Men.  Why are you still actively seeking if you are owned, or has that just not been updated yet?  Or could it be you've already made your decision so aren't changing that on purpose?

edited to add a sentence somewhere.  :)




CollaredLisa -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 7:06:09 AM)

To me, especially his answer about the diseases would be my cue to leave - probably as fast as I can. It probably still wouldn't be easy - don't we all get very attached to people we are with? - but this would be too far for me... If he was HIV positive, would he just not care if you got it too?




oceanwinds -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 7:16:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

for those of you,that are spiritually interested it might be interesting last time we were together he wanted me to paint a mark on my leg with crayons,I did,the mark came and went,and when he contacted me again,it blossom,but looked like a burn instead,and its no way I can get that mark off my leg! yes,it looks like a burn. he says its because its meant to be. the guy even wants to do a bonding ritual, that would permanently bind us! for eternity! it might sound strange to some,but for those spiritual minded we know it works. so,he says its a sign,that its meant to be,and he also talks all time how fond and happy he is about me. it is me thats taken it slow,asked him too,as well,just because I dont know the guy properly yet. but this is bad.


You have totally confused me. In your last thread you mentioned never meeting him, and now you add this? I think you are addicted to drama and thrive on it. I not going to tell you he did wrong. I am not going to feed your drama. You do it very well yourself.




OsideGirl -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 7:36:59 AM)

He wrote this:
quote:

if I have any deseases you might get you have to accept it.
And you're concerned about this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

He has never told me this before now,I asked, Im just wondering what that seeing others once in a while means. it could have several meanings,and not the "worst" one.
I hook myself more in that he didnt told me before I ask, because I want to make a descision on full information not half.


You're an adult. He's made it clear that he doesn't care about your well being. Either accept the relationship knowing this or get out.

Personally, I wouldn't give him the time of day after that comment.




sleazybutterfly -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 7:53:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

for those of you,that are spiritually interested it might be interesting last time we were together he wanted me to paint a mark on my leg with crayons,I did,the mark came and went,and when he contacted me again,it blossom,but looked like a burn instead,and its no way I can get that mark off my leg! yes,it looks like a burn. he says its because its meant to be. the guy even wants to do a bonding ritual, that would permanently bind us! for eternity! it might sound strange to some,but for those spiritual minded we know it works. so,he says its a sign,that its meant to be,and he also talks all time how fond and happy he is about me. it is me thats taken it slow,asked him too,as well,just because I dont know the guy properly yet. but this is bad.


You have totally confused me. In your last thread you mentioned never meeting him, and now you add this? I think you are addicted to drama and thrive on it. I not going to tell you he did wrong. I am not going to feed your drama. You do it very well yourself.


Didn't anyone ever tell you that you can not catch an STD from the keyboard?

I am not mocking you, but I admit this whole thing seems very suspicious to me. Maybe it's because to me there is only one logical decision to make, and if you aren't able to figure it out there has to be something wrong here.  Not to mention the fact of some mark showing up again so therefore you are locked with this person.  I think someone, either you or him, has been reading way too many fantasy books on this subject. 

Yes, being a slave is different than being a sub.  It also differs from dynamic to dynamic.  My slavedom (so to speak) is probably different than someone else's.  I am free to speak up in some areas, and in others I am more to keep silent.  One place we freely talk is when it comes to our sexual relationship or the idea of adding partners.  He and I must agree if there is to be another person brought in at all, or if we either one want another partner.  Now, that is a stipulation that was set up before we even went this far, and it's also what works the best for us.  We have rules about it, such as I must be able to meet her and I can be present.  One of the ways we have sort of worked this out is that we will only play with couples that way neither one of us feels left out in the situation.  This isn't something that every M/s does, but it's what is the best for us.  When it comes to other things, I have no say and what he decides is just the way it is.  I am property, but I am also other things along with that.

What I am telling you this for is to show you that no one way is the right way for everyone.  There are Masters that do it the way yours does, there are ones that do it the way mine does.  You can find someone that will treat you the way you want to be treated, trust me.  I had doms that were a lot like yours, but it wasn't where I was happy....so I left.  It's really as simple as that, and you are making it much more difficult than it is.

You are older than me, so I know you are old enough to make the decision you can live with.  If you can accept this, do it..if you can't, you need to walk away.  If you are unable to, it honestly scares me a lot.  I am saddened and amazed at the people that get involved in all of this, yet can't make one little decision on their own, even if it's to protect them from some horrible disease, or even to protect their emotional well being.

I wish you the best.




GreedyTop -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 7:58:49 AM)

maybe kevin and mona should hook up...




sovehdeRath -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 8:18:09 AM)

Actually, the 'rule' reads...what you do, good or bane, comes back to you three times the same.  In other words, it will give you a karmic slap 3x what it was you did if bad, or many blessings if it was something good.

Is this 'Master' Wiccan?  If so, then He should also know the first commandment of Wicca: And it harm none, do as you will.  If He IS Wiccan, then He is NOT following anything that He should.

A true Master will A) get to know a slaves likes and dislikes before He collars them (perhaps by means of a checklist), to make sure they ARE compatible (as O/our society does not have the same laws that Gorean society has regarding Master/slave relationships), B) discusses this as with the proposed slave as well as anything that may come up in the relationship, so that should there be any issues, she can make an informed choice, and C) takes care of the slave He collars.  A happy healthy slave performs better, and is more pleasing; and being on Earth and NOT on Gor, there are medical issues that come up, the environment is much different here and the diseases much more wide ranging. 
W/we do not have the advanced medical capabilities of the Priest Kings to rely on.

just a simple kajiras thoughts,
soveh, first girl of Rathanavan, Warrior/Merchant/Slaver
quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

well I know that if you do magick etc with bad intent or intend to bind a person to you, I know that rule ´what you do comes back to you three times doubled´ 






maia09 -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 10:34:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

I need your advice, I know I written about this before but now I have talked to the Dom, and heres his answers,
hes telling me... 
youre a slave and youre owned, and its without limits, you cant make any demands. You dont own your Dom.
if I have any deseases you might get you have to accept it. if I have countless others you have to accept it.
faithfulness for a slave is to be obedient and sincere.faithfulness for a Dom is to still be Master for his slave and to be serious about his role.
yes he sees once in a while others and so it will be in the future as well.(what the --does he mean by that?)
hes got no deseases since hes got tested since last time,but hey cant we all just say.
there is more but this is the replies I got. what do you think.
I mean, he has forbidden me to have others,but we have never talked about it,and now hes telling me hes seeing others once in a while. have to ask what that means. but as you read at first, he mean I have to accept as many he is doing,sort of. That would be fine,if we had talked about it,but we have not!
so,what is your suggestions to how I handle this?
and dont mock me,this is a serious problem now.



Well i've heard it before and i'll say it again. A slave has at least one choice (sometimes more) - - - - and that choice is whose collar to accept. Your concerns at this time would have been better discussed before accepting his collar. i think a Master is very reasonable in expecting His slave to accept whatever he wishes. Unfortunately, it appears you did not discuss his wishes with him enough to know what he may want and how he may change. i am with those who say, at this point you have only 2 choices, stay or leave. Expecting your Master to change his desires is not an option.




sunshinemiss -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 11:00:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

well I understand how you mean, Drakontos, he never told me that was the conditions. I am sure you did with your slave. I have to ask,to get to know,and thats bad,technically speaking,because it is his responsibility to tell me.


Bullshit.  

It is YOUR responsibility as  A PERSON to ask questions BEFORE you get involved.  What? because he is a dom/master/uber-bitchin dick swinger you no longer have any responsibility for YOURSELF?

srsly.



Whoa.  You made Greedy swear. 

Now, let's think for a minute. 



ETA:  I was gonna add some things and disagree and stuff.  But you know what?

THAT:  "Now, let's think for a minute."  is actually pretty good.

Good luck,




sirsholly -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 11:13:26 AM)

Mona...you joined this site 4/10/09 and your profile states you are seeking a Master.

Is this fucked-up relationship you are in not only long distance, but also less than three months old?

I smell a drama queen.






justme1980 -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 11:18:59 AM)

Oh no!!!!! HELL NO< YOU GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THERE ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




LovingMistress45 -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 6:33:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

it was indian ink colors. and it wasnt even hard. its there.like a burn,whatever  I do. how would you get that away? I mean,if I was that allergic I would had got reactions on my skin like red,yes? I didnt.at all. it was there out of thin air.
I know slaves as usual has no rights yadda-yadda, but, they do use to know what is expected also about fucking around.
He says to me ´once in a while´seeing others,I dont know what the fuck that means.
you know in our culture it could be all from multiple slaves to fuckbuddies to just a fuck. you dont know before you ask.
youre right about deseases your damn right.  I wonder if he ever thought of he might get deseases from his "fuck buddies".
but hey,if I try talk this out with him he will only state "youre a slave no rights" talk with me,when its not what I am talking about.
or shall I just say to him,hey,you lied to me?
I dont know what the fuck to say.



Ok, once again figuring this will not be heard by you, but what the hell I say it anyway.  Here is what you say to him 
 
Option #1:  "I am NOT your slave, we have not even met.  I will ask whatever I want to ask and I will expect honest answers.  If I agree to your collar at that point (which will not be until after we have met and spent time together) I will have given up my right to question or make demands on you, but until then I am free and not your slave.  If you choose to hide behind a role and not answer my questions forthright and honestly then I will take that to mean you are a man without honor and not worthy of my submission as a slave."
 
Option #2: "Master please forgive my insolence for having questioned and doubted your honor and rights over this slave.  I am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.  I will never question you or your decisions again as I am your property to do with as you please."
 
Option #3:  "Good bye, I wish no further contact with you." This is my personal pick. Although I would suggest a few sexual act he could do to himself, but I am trying to keep it clean.




monaslave -> RE: what shall I do with this? (6/22/2009 6:55:58 PM)

I dont know,but I dont got the impression hes wiccan, but I know hes talked about how you get out in the grey areas and cant stay in the white area if somethings gotta happen, and that the goal justifes the means,which I didnt agree with, I know he listens to norse gods,thats what I know,and some greek as well. So it must be something,he is doing,at least.
I have asked him further.. he says hes not thought to give me some deseases,and surely I knew about that..then he say,but you are my slave,and if he got a desease,of the worse character,then I would share it,that I shall know. then he says he know what hes doing and doesnt get exposed. and talks about nothing more beautiful than a slave that knows whom she belongs to,and asking to share it, or accept to get it because she knows that she belongs to her Master,that its something shes chosen, but says its theoretical and that he doesnt plan to get a desease, and never been to bed with somebody he doesnt know are clean,and because he make demands. he says hes not a swinger club type.thats what he said short said. i told him he couldnt say like that about deseases then he says its merely theoretichally.




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