Real life gets in the way again...

Real life gets in the way again... (Full Version)

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Prinsexx -> Real life gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 4:54:53 PM)
Apologies up front... but you know real life? It gets in the way. There's a munch arranged here for Friday in the UK. We want to go. i have the shoes, the dress.... i have a phone call from um's school today. They won't say what is wrong. i get an intuition and phone sis. We arrive together at the school. i am ushered in. My um's father died suddenly this morning. My um hasn't been told yet. 12 years of anger and abusiveness turned in on itself... five trips to a Women';s Refuge and fleeing half way across Europe to get away from him, all i own fighting him in court after court to keep the kids safe. And he dies of a heart attack at 45. i've spoken to the new wife, explained to Master how i feel, nursed the kids, done the shopping et. al. ad infinitum. Bloody hell of a day. All i wanted to do was meet at the munch on Friday and real life or should i say surreal life got in the way. Anyone know what i'm talking about?

DavanKael -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 4:59:53 PM)
Of course, dealing with yours um's feelings is paramount here. What, though, would keep you from going to the munch? Davan

Prinsexx -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 5:02:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael Of course, dealing with yours um's feelings is paramount here. What, though, would keep you from going to the munch? Davan i see what you are saying. Just body shock, the way it's affected me, the way my um asked me not to leave her, not wanting to see too many people right now...etc etc Feeling overwhelmed. Too much death... the way that play feels unimportant right now. A multitude of feelings. But i see what you are saying.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 5:07:28 PM)
You are needed by your um right now. This is when it gets difficult...choosing between the lifestyle or your um in this time. I chose to get away from my um because her father was mentally abusive to me.

MmeGigs -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 5:11:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Anyone know what i'm talking about? Kinda, and it sucks. There's no way to prepare for things like this, and no way to avoid that "I don't want to deal with this!" feeling, but deal with it we must. Death does not take prior engagements into account. Hugs to you and the UMs as you work your way through this.

lovingpet -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 5:14:29 PM)
This is a no brainer here and I know that's not what you are asking. Life gets in the way, and it's not just D/s stuff it gets in the way of either. It's just that awful thing called responsibility. Wishing you peace. I am sorry for your loss. lovingpet

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 5:30:37 PM)
OP: so sorry.. Real life does get in the way... and your munch and BDSM life is real too. . First and foremost you cannot be present to anyone else until you are first present to your self. WHAT DO YOU NEED? to find a bit of peace? to be present for your child? to be good to YOU? SELF FIRST this next while.. and children IF YOU GET overwhelmed you may be giving the same stress value to all occurances .....for example.. dishes could wait..but hugs for the child are needed grass may need mown but a bubble bath is what YOU need kids need time BUT you do too need a hug from MASTER?? ask... gather support..ask for help.. RIGHT NOW just go one hour at a time.. and some things will have to wait or be done differently *as you re-group and pool energy rather than expend it..* *A day spent in mom's bed reading and hugging will* *long be rememebered not wheather dishes were done or* *a beef dinner was produced* MY thoughts are with you and yes I know how you feel.. and know that OLD shit will come up so take care.. I had a similar siutation so I am sending you love and light dear one GQ

stella41b -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 6:02:30 PM)
Prin, you have mail.

ZenDragoness -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 6:06:03 PM)
That is a very hard time for you and i am sending you my best wishes and some strength. The mixture of feelings must be overwhelming. Maybe till friday you will feel, that you want to go to the munch, because your feelings have changed.

DesFIP -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 6:24:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne You are needed by your um right now. This is when it gets difficult...choosing between the lifestyle or your um in this time. I chose to get away from my um because her father was mentally abusive to me. You blame a minor for what an adult whom she had no control over, did to you? I hope she has a decent guardian, she'll need it.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Real lufe gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 6:30:10 PM)
The courts would not let me have her due to my bipolar and tendancy to being homeless.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/8/2009 7:07:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Apologies up front... but you know real life? No apologies needed and my heart goes out to you. I truly wish you better times!

RCdc -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 3:27:00 AM)
Prinnie gorgeous. Real life is what this is all about for us, so yeah, we get it. Know that on friday, people will understand. You might not be bouncing around, but that doesn't matter. Friends are friends and won't expect anymore than you are able to give that night. If you have to be with your child - that's all cool. If your child needs time alone, then you might want that alone time too - that's all cool as well. And if you want to be with friends, you know where we will all be. And ya got mail. the.dark.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 3:35:13 AM)
Laughing and I can't help but for it to be a bit of a bitter laugh Yes, we know all about real life getting in the way. REal life has been butting it's ugly heads into our life very much this past year. Want to do something fun? Forget it the car broke down, WAnt to plan a vacation? Forget it all your money for vacation just flew out the window fixing the car, the dog got sick cost you 800 to 900 dollars all in one week. Get into a slight fender bender sliding into someone in the rain cause she slammed on her breaks, and now your car is ruined, cost more to repair then buy a used one, Buy the used one and with in two months of buying it, it breaks down to the tune of 1300. Which you don't have, which you have to add to the loan of 3,200 you took out from your dad, because you have no choice, you can't ditch an other wise good vehicale just cause 1300 dollars of fixing needs done. Besides you need your car and going out and getting another one aint an option. Last month we were supposed to go to a kinky event in SF but a hole in a hose that kept the car from running right stopped us. This week we''re supposed to go to Master's den and we may not have a car. I had a whole host of fun and kinky things lined up this week and this month and blowing all our money now and implied money on the car will likely ruin that.[:'(] quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Apologies up front... but you know real life? It gets in the way. There's a munch arranged here for Friday in the UK. We want to go. i have the shoes, the dress.... i have a phone call from um's school today. They won't say what is wrong. i get an intuition and phone sis. We arrive together at the school. i am ushered in. My um's father died suddenly this morning. My um hasn't been told yet. 12 years of anger and abusiveness turned in on itself... five trips to a Women';s Refuge and fleeing half way across Europe to get away from him, all i own fighting him in court after court to keep the kids safe. And he dies of a heart attack at 45. i've spoken to the new wife, explained to Master how i feel, nursed the kids, done the shopping et. al. ad infinitum. Bloody hell of a day. All i wanted to do was meet at the munch on Friday and real life or should i say surreal life got in the way. Anyone know what i'm talking about?

LaTigresse -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 3:37:37 AM)
Life is about choices. When we become parents the magnitude and responsibility factors increase dramatically. I found that out when I was still a child. I made choices that were less than smart, became a parent, have been trying to make choices for the better because of it, for the last 31 years. Quite often those choices were not what I always wanted to do, but given the adults my children became, I am confident the greater percentage of them were correct ones. The party will happen again, be there for your loved ones if they need you. You will not regret it.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 5:37:16 AM)
sorry about your ex however i don't understand what you mean. i'm a mother first and foremost ...everything and everyone else falls afterwards. imho, you sound as if you're complaining that his untimely death rudely interrupted your kink time. edited to add: we all deal with bad news ie death in our own way yet your ums clearly needed you there for them more than the Friday munch

sirsholly -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 5:43:51 AM)
quote: All i wanted to do was meet at the munch on Friday and real life or should i say surreal life got in the way. Anyone know what i'm talking about? No...i have to say i don't If my child needs me, everything else is forgotten.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 6:11:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Life is about choices. When we become parents the magnitude and responsibility factors increase dramatically. I found that out when I was still a child. I made choices that were less than smart, became a parent, have been trying to make choices for the better because of it, for the last 31 years. Quite often those choices were not what I always wanted to do, but given the adults my children became, I am confident the greater percentage of them were correct ones. The party will happen again, be there for your loved ones if they need you. You will not regret it. I can't echo LaT's words more eloquently---being a parent is 24/7 365, not when it feels good--its a tough time, munches will come again, but the oppty to help her mend and provide her the support will not. If it comes to something I want to do versus the UM, the UM gets the attention most of the time, as LaT said, given the marvelous young lady she is, its all been worth it.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 7:04:21 AM)
Prinsexx, my sympathies to your um. i can't imagine the mixed emotions you both must be feeling. Abusive or not, he was a huge part of both your lives, and it must be dreadfully hard compartmentalizing and dealing with the rush of emotions you're experiencing right now. You can't ever hear the words from him that will make it right. He can't ever have a chance to rectify or make up for what's been done in the past, but you can live your best possible lives. You can be free and happy, and realize that all that has happened will serve to make you stronger. You can overcome. You can allow yourselves to be truly pissed off for the wrongs you've suffered, and not feel guilty if your mourning can't be as soft-hearted and sorrowful as most think mourning should be. You can forgive; not for him, but for your um's sake, and for yours. All the best to you during this difficult time.

Prinsexx -> RE: Real life gets in the way again... (6/9/2009 9:58:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Apologies up front... but you know real life? No apologies needed and my heart goes out to you. I truly wish you better times! MichaeL: that you have empathy is worth its weight in gold. Thank you.

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