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RE: Communication and getting needs met - 5/24/2009 7:33:57 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

For me to build the degree of trust needed in D/s, He would have to be sticking to his word. Promises shouldnt be made without being carry-out. Of course things happen that are unexpected, but if giving one's word is always followed by a not carrying out, then trust is elusive, imo

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RE: Communication and getting needs met - 5/24/2009 9:19:09 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TopChuck
The Dom/me operates in the logical mind area and the submissive in the emotional mind.

In the case of my last relationship (and I think he would agree):

Strike that..
Reverse it..

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RE: Communication and getting needs met - 5/24/2009 11:57:01 AM

TopChuck

Posts: 36
Joined: 1/1/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

No one should be expected to read someones mind. "clues" don't work with me, i tend to be rather thick. CLEAR communication is always best in my book.

Right, breathasone.

And, since we Doms recognize that we are thick, it's our job to actively pursue information. Since we control the relationship, it's up to us to keep the input coming. It's up to us to make sure the sub's mind is completely open to us by constantly delving; constantly understanding the sub's emotions. (That's why we earn the big bucks.)

Nor should subs have to be involved in actively giving clues. The sub should be encouraged to reside in the emotional mind as much as possible. And, giving clues by the sub involves functioning from the sub's logical mind. The sub isn't supposed to have to analyze the relationship; that's the Dom/mes responsibility. The Dom/me does it by actively listening and understanding the sub's emotions.

A couple other things, to save separately commenting about some other great posts: The accurate consensus seems to be that the relationship has problems. The "topping from the bottom" idea is much overplayed in the D/s community. Here the sub is expressing the frustration of not being understood, to the extent that she even screams out to us, for some sort of help. The sub is trying to get the exchange working, once again. Is the sub to be blamed for making what may be a last ditch effort to get the Dom/me's attention?

The mind functioning observation regarding logic for the Dom/me and emotional for the sub applies within the relationship, only. We all have to use our logical minds and emotional minds to various degrees in everyday life. In our intimate relationships we attempt to reside in the places of our minds where we are most comfortable. That's a huge reason why we have relationships.

(in reply to breatheasone)

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