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Somber and pensive- - 5/18/2009 6:06:33 PM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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Tonight I am trying not to be down. Tomorrow I have a meeting and I fear it wont go well. So I have to get up early.

Natural to grieve and have some down days.    I dont want to derail from my goals and such. It is strange with Jim being deceased. I notice it at night.

I still have his cat. I thought it will go to Jenny before long. Tho I go back and forth on it. The cat is abit of company for now.

I have to get out some. I dont like the "is that all there is" despondent type of depression.

My brother called the other day. It was nice to have him relaxed.

Part of me thought of going to the park.   We will see.

I hope I can sleep tonight and the meeting goes well tomorrow.

I guess the good news is the electric and phone bills were cheap this month.    Rather pathetic that the mail is the highlight of the day.

The tire on the bike is flat and .... so to get air in it is on my list.

So the glass half full or half empty type of thing.

The meeting tomorrow is red tape to try to use the grant funds I earned.

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/18/2009 8:51:35 PM

MzMia

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Hang in there hunky, you are grieving.
Many people think that grieving only takes a couple of weeks,
believe me it can take years.

Allow yourself to just be, take care of yourself and heal.

Me thinks, hunky boy has a very big heart.

Good luck on your meeting tomorrow.

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/18/2009 10:04:14 PM

Rule

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Good luck.

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/18/2009 10:44:06 PM

popeye1250

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PaHunk, we always think the worst ahead of meetings, hearings etc beforehand. But, it always seems to work out that the worst doesn't happen. That's been my experience anyway and it's always been true! So don't fret.
Hey! I know how to cheer you up, have yourself a nice fantasy about George Clooney comming over to your house and begging you to blow you!
LOL, that'll piss off a few womenm in here I reckon!
See? I bet you're smiling already.

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/19/2009 6:30:29 AM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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Thanks all... Rule, Mia, Popeye!
I am up having coffee. I guess the grant thing irks me as I potentially could stretch it way more then they allow.   I spend the money on the front porch as the project was covered by the grant.   Until I submitted the receipts.   Then it wasnt.

I do have to get out some.     This week.    I ment to yell at the neighbor over the trees they want to plant here. (the city) I dont want my view blocked. I do look at the river every day!    Even at night the lights reflect off of it.

I wish the car worked good enough for a road trip.

I should be making eggs.    Back later.

Ps- not to worry about Cloony.   Sex can be good training for the next partner.   Build agileness and proficiency,   Somehow Spring the fling comes around alot.   He is sexier then Cloony.       He could use tho- something to let go in bed tho.    I am not looking to do that guys lanudry.   He thinks too much.     I am fine living alone.    I like my space.    ....an occassional sex is good too.
I got lucky on meeting him. He isnt trouble.    But it is what it is. He fixed my door bell when he was here. :-)

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/19/2009 6:53:06 AM

pahunkboy

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He says his wife doesnt want to blow him.

He is clean and all that.... maybe she means she went done too or else.

This dude named Mike is better in bed... more attentive.    But I sort of cut him off.   He wanted me to go with him to the slutty book store.   He would drive 1/2 hour past my place to go there.   Like I wasnt ample.    We messed around for a few years. I liked that I could say what I mean...   somehow there was crabs one summer. I phoned him and said- we have a problem. If I dont tell you then we give it back and forth. Clean all your sheets and self so we can fix it. I said- I am not looking to blame anyone... just to remedy to crabs.
So we did and it went away.    But then a few months later when he pulled the lets go to the adult bookstore clory hole stunt.   I was tiffed.    1. I do not frequent those places.   2. I guess we know where the crabs came from.   3. I dont want the crabs again.

What I liked about Mike is he would nible my ears and neck.    (he is bi)   where as the fling wont. He finds that repulsive.
He is more less a straight guy that likes to get head.   Even if it means from a male.

When I learned he was married- we had a heated talk. He handled it VERY WELL. His momma taught him manners.

I am allowed to phone his house...but I dont unless there is a good reason.   He lost touch with me for 3 years... then I moved. I phoned him to tell him where I moved.    He thought I had moved to Chicago.
See he doesnt call he just drops in.

He loves his wife alot and is happily married. He now has kids.   He wants that life. Not the gay thing.    That is fine with me.

You see with Jim, he ran with a flaming faggot crowd. Make a sceen- act effeminate.    That is a turn off to me. Especially being there is a time and place for campy behavayour.

Oddly- out of 4 kids... my being the gay one.    By conventional thought I should have gotten STD.   The kicker is my 3 siblings ALL now have gotten an STD, they are all straight!!!   And (we wont count the crabs)   but I have no STDs.

Go figure.

BTW- my brother banged the mabeline model from Russia. See her on the tv commercials.   She gave him an STD. He wont go get anti-biotics.

The fricken mabeline model!!!    Man that is as bad as me bring the fling to work and blwoing him in the basement there. (on the time clock, oops) lol

real life-   more interesting then friction.

Jim alays got the hotest men.   He would say to them, see that girl... she eats pussy.   Do you think you can eat pussy better then her?

Of course the dude would be like a hound dog- mind racing thinking of the thought.   ;-0

lol

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/19/2009 8:52:46 AM

pahunkboy

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We had the meeting. It went well. :-)

I just planted tomatoes and peppers.

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/20/2009 4:59:27 AM

wandersalone

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smiles that is wonderful news Pa

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RE: Somber and pensive- - 5/20/2009 5:19:26 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

smiles that is wonderful news Pa

I might have taught the administrator a shortcut or 2. As it turns out the grant isnt subject to sales tax. ( I pushed for no tax)

So now I wait 2 weeks. Then the next step comes.

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