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Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 9:07:48 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		Hi y'all,

Something that's really been bothering me lately is trying to figure out the logic behind the so called BDSM capitalization forms.  Now I get how like, if you're in a chat room like IRC, the easiest way to differentiate between roles is for the dominant to capitalize his or her name while the submissive or slave leaves his or hers in lowercase.  That makes sense to me because it's there for a specific purpose that would be hard to fulfill another way.

I also get the capitalization of "Master" and "Mistress" - those are titles, just like Doctor or Professor.  What got me on this track is that I've gotten into the habit of capitalizing those words even when they're used as a noun.  Writing "Mistress Jane" is just the same as writing "Doctor Jones" but few people write "I went to see my Doctor yesterday" so why have I started to say "he saw his Mistress yesterday"?

The ones that really confuse me are capitalizing the word Dominant, capitalizing pronouns that relate to the dominant (My, His, Her, etc), lowercasing the submissive or slave's name, lowercasing the pronoun "I" when it is a submissive who is writing, and what's termed "slashy speak" or saying things like Hi A/all, how are Y/you today to imply that one is addressing both dominants and submissives.

For the people who type in any of these conventions, I'd really appreciate if you would answer a few questions for me.

Why do you use this particular method of capitalization? What does it mean to you?

Do you do it more as a matter of clarity (to indicate the BDSM leanings of the person you're speaking of) or a matter of respect (using capitals to denote higher levels of respect toward dominants than toward submissives)? Or for another reason entirely?

When and where did you start using this typing style? (ie IRC, other chat, CM boards, other boards, etc)

Is there a particular convention to denote a switch?  I think that would be a better use of slashy speak, especially since most languages other than English that have gendered nouns tend to just use the masculine to represent a mixed group instead of using a slash the way we do (ie Spanish "mis hermanos" vs English "my brothers and sisters") so I would imagine that the form used for the dominant could also encompass all.  But for an individual switch...why not say "This S/switch at the club makes me want to take H/her home with me."  Is that seriously ridiculous or does it make sense to anyone else?

Anything else you'd like to say about it that I haven't asked?

Thanks ahead of time for answering - I know that quite a few people follow these conventions, and I've never really understood why.  I'm wondering if there's a set meaning for it in the community, or if everyone has their own reasons.

Take care,
Bella

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 5/11/2009 9:16:42 PM >
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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 9:09:43 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ehhh most times i'm to lazy to hit the shift key.... any quesitons

BadOne


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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 9:19:28 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I don't use them religiously, though I sometimes do. Acronyms I usually capitalize, BDSM, for example, also titles like Master and Mistress. Usually I will cap dominant when used as a noun, but not when as a description. One thing I do, which I kind of invented, is when I'm referring to my wife/sub, is type "I and debbie" as opposed to "debbie and I". I suppose I picked up some of it on IRC, the rest just frrom seeing others do it. 

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 9:24:26 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I have often wondered what the point of these conventions was as well. I cannot fathom what the practitioners get out of them, so look forward to hearing from them.

P.S. I abhore slashy speak, it makes it so fucking hard to understand what they are saying sometimes.

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 9:24:30 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		Oooh Joseff, I haven't seen that one before.  That's actually pretty cool!  A grammar nazi's worst nightmare, but I've always had a healthy respect for being contrary 

Thanks for sharing!

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 9:42:17 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Greetings Bella.  I have to admit, I've been waiting for this topic to come around again.  It's been some time.

I am one of the greatest offenders on these boards.  I am exactly what pisses some people off about it.  I've had many people tell Me that I drive them nuts about My writing style.  Yet, over and over, these same people who proclaim the loudest that they skip 'improper capitalization' posts, will tell Me that something that I have said resonated with them.  That capital "M" or small letter "c" when speaking about My boy seems to matter so much less when they find the content of the writing worthwhile.

You ask valid questions.  Ones that I am more than happy to answer.

What does it mean to Me?  Truthfully, it is reflective of Me in many ways.  Not just as a Dominant woman, but also the dynamic that is a part of My life.  It is My form of self expression.  I see it no different as times that I speak in ways that are from being a part of coming up in a small town (using such terms as "folks" and the like) or any other part of My personality. 

When did I start?  I'd have to say about four years ago.  I didn't come into this lifestyle through the net.  I saw the practice.  I made it My own.  I happen to like it. 

Is there another reason?  Yes, and thank you for asking. I've had clip for about two years now, and I encourage the same writing style for him.  When requiring him to use the lower case for himself, I want it to be a reminder for him in his submission.  Some would scoff at that, but I have found it a highly effective method.

So, I'm sure the question remains.  Why should I feel to do the same in kind?  My answer lies in returning a question to you.

Have you ever participated in a ritual or protocol where you were required to do a certain thing, but did not receive the feedback in return?  Where you displayed submission, but the Dominant did not show their response?  That you were told to offer yourself in some way, yet they did not take it?

This subject is the same as these.  If I tell My boy that something is important to reflect his submission, how can I not believe the same reflects My Dominance?  If it has been put in place to have significance to him, how can it not have significance to Me?  Would that not, in fact, make Me a hypocrite?

To those who would say, do not inflict your dynamic on them, I return and say it is just as well.  As much as I enjoy many out there, none of you, not all of CM, are more important to Me as My little poly family.

Take Me or leave Me as you will.  The decision in this is My own.


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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 10:07:12 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		Hi LadyPact,

Thank you so much for your in-depth response   And let me tell you, you are FAR from the worst offender.  I've seen so many posts with no paragraph breaks, slashy speak, and the female submissive author referring to herself in the third person when posting about herself and her sister slave, so believe me when I say I'm well prepped to appreciate your clarity.

To answer your question, yes, I have been in that position.  Generally for me it's a lot to do with the expectation of "acting like I'm mastered" when the other person hasn't invested the time and energy needed to truly master me.  And yeah, it sucks.  So I definitely see where you're coming from - you can't just tell him "this means something, do it" without actually feeling that meaning for yourself.

And I don't think that by posting the way you do you're inflicting your dynamic on anyone - you're not demanding that anyone who posts do it in your style, you're just living your life.  I've found that the people who complain most vocally about people "inflicting" their lifestyle just by living it are the same people who send random messages like "kneel slut" to strangers.  In other words, self centered jerks.

Thanks again for the reply.

Take care,
Bella

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 10:29:57 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Well, LadyPact said it all

I just want to add tho, that I

a) use it willy nilly as the mood and laziness takes me. This, after all, is the internet, where the common language is "Typo"
b) always thought it was just a silly thing made up by IRC denizens with too much time on their hands
c) hate slashy speak with the utmost passion

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 10:42:08 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		If you have followed my post for any amount of time you will see that I randomly capitalize words that should not be...... IT CONFUSES THE HELL OUTTA KINKY FOLK.

They assume that some time when I do it I am refering to someone as a person when in reality I type with the same enthusiam I talk in. Rarely am I upset when I reply, however because of the capitalization people often assume I am pissed off.

However when we describe Cap Speak online you have to accept that so many people put honorifics to things that eventually you find that you want to give your own dominance to things.

Dominance is DOMINATING with it's capital D and submissive sits beside it with surrender in it's lowercase s

In all reality I do it because it just makes it easier to talk to people online....... you get less questions when you Cap the Dom and don't cap the sub.

One think I just HATE HATE HATE is that G/god D/damned S/slash S/speak.
Fuck me running that shit is just annoying. Respect should be conveyed in your words not how you Capitalize them.

How that makes Any sense At all

Steel

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/11/2009 10:57:33 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		I write like I'm supposed to until ordered otherwise. I've had women be really offended by my proper usage of I instead of i, which I find kind of foolish. I can understand the usage of the protocols, but to get really upset about it is a little much for me.

If I started corresponding with someone seriously and that was the protocol they wanted in my communications with them, I'd certainly understand and comply, but until that happens and i'm communicating with people are friends or members of the same community, I'll stick with the normal forms, I honestly think a little piece of my grammar nazi mother dies anytime I misuse a word or mess up grammatically. 

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 6:52:34 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't care.  Just don't use ThIs CoNvEnTiOn, please.  Beats me why the younguns do it.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 7:44:48 AM   
army101


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/2/2009
Status: offline 		Different "key strokes" for different folks it looks like? Mostly depending on some who took too many English Comp and Lit classes in college and are still afraid their Proff is going to mark them down?

I go into chatrooms forgetting to put a Cap on my name...ooppss sorry damn it! Only thing that bugs me the most is being called Sir.....come on I still work for a living okay?!

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:20:08 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Until someone explains to me how one can "speak" out upper and lower case titles, names, ect, I will always think of this as an online protocal.  People tell me it simply identifies what they are quickly in a virtual forum.. but I say I am me even here.  I am not anyones submissive until I am, and certainly not wishing to place any value on myself based on caps or non caps. I see it this way, I know who I am without any sort of validation, why wouldn't anyone know, who had confidence?
But once again this is a matter of compatibility.  I would never consider one who demanded it.
Kyst

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:24:32 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Third person speech has got to be the most contrived though - those that use it think that it makes them sound humble because they did away with the first person ("I"), but in fact, they sound just like the Queen of England.

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:27:15 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Lookin forward to Ol' Liz referring to herself as "girl"

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I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:28:33 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		FR

Writing normally outside the Kink Lifestyle and especially to those not involved, I use normal capitalization except when some term (Master, Mistress, Doctor, Mother, and Father etc) I want to emphasise. When writing for massages, posts or articles, I automatically capitalize the Dominant terms such as Master, Mistress and Dominant etc) and use lower case (except at the start of a sentance) again to deliniate the two groups of Dominants and submissives. retrospectively, I do believe it is just a matter of habit for me. It certainly bothers me not how others use capitalization as long as they follow conventional sentenceing and what have you.


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Master of Bruin Cottage

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:46:13 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

Lookin forward to Ol' Liz referring to herself as "girl"



Liz is a Domme, everybody knows that  .

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:50:22 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I don't do the caps thing
If for no other reason than that the failure to do so will piss people off

Which makes it a great reason to do so from my POV.
Hah.
The world remains my toy.

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 9:52:05 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Why do you use this particular method of capitalization? What does it mean to you?

Typing in this way is just really second nature to me now. I don't always do it but the majority of the time i do. For me it shows respect to my Sir.
 
quote:

Do you do it more as a matter of clarity (to indicate the BDSM leanings of the person you're speaking of) or a matter of respect (using capitals to denote higher levels of respect toward dominants than toward submissives)? Or for another reason entirely?

It was something i was exected to do in an early bdsm relationship and it just stuck with me.

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RE: Master Dick and slave jane - 5/12/2009 10:31:53 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		i can't be bothered stretching my pinky. all the shifting makes me mad. i think it derived from online chat rooms. but it has gotten to the point where some take this form of writing as gospel and assume certain behaviors are afforded to those possessing a cap. which of course is a non issue if you're not involved with the online scene or simply opt to ignore them.

oh, and i write lower case because i extend my pinky quite enough elsewhere.

porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 5/12/2009 10:43:27 AM >

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