Let me explain... (Full Version)

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FourQ -> Let me explain... (5/9/2009 10:29:51 AM)

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"

And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."

The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"




ThatDaveGuy69 -> RE: Let me explain... (5/9/2009 10:34:04 AM)

Sweeeeet.  :)

~Dave




samboct -> RE: Let me explain... (5/9/2009 10:57:57 AM)

I echo Dave's sentiments....




MadAxeman -> RE: Let me explain... (5/9/2009 7:46:20 PM)

It's all infidelity lately Q
Have you been to cheaterjokes.com?





FourQ -> RE: Let me explain... (5/10/2009 3:56:48 AM)

Most of the time I get e-mails in one topic for a spell.
Sometimes prick jokes, pussy jokes, racial jokes, it just depends on what comes my way.

One of the lads who usually forwards on jokes has recently been cheated on so I suspect either he's getting inundated in a warped attempt to cheer him up or he's gone out looking for them.
We're planning to go out tomorrow night for a few jars.  Hopefully it'll be of some help to him.




SteelofUtah -> RE: Let me explain... (5/10/2009 9:17:13 AM)

You know I have to ask a question because I get this a lot from other married men.

Does your wife lose interest sexually because mine is a Nympho and I have to turn her down for sex because she wants it all the time mood permitting or not.

I have thought about using Viagra, the issue is that she is in the mood so offten that I just cannot keep up erectionally wise. When I am not in the mood it takes a harem of women doing the Kinkiest shit imaginable to get the little guy to take interest. When I am in the mood no problems however My In the mood is about HALF what her in the mood is.

So seriously does sex stop for a lot of married men? If so THAT WOULD SUCK.

Steel




FourQ -> RE: Let me explain... (5/10/2009 10:17:44 AM)

... and if so, are you in the North East of England??




MadAxeman -> RE: Let me explain... (5/10/2009 12:37:00 PM)

More importantly, is she in the south of England?




Crush -> RE: Let me explain... (5/10/2009 2:43:19 PM)

If it isn't physical, it probably is emotional/mental, Steel.   

Had a wife for 20 years.  And well, it was a good 3 years in there, maybe...on a generous day.

Current (2nd) wife for 11 years and all good most of the time....I'd say 10.5 out of 11 years...






samboct -> RE: Let me explain... (5/10/2009 3:26:49 PM)

Steel

Talk to a doc about stuff like Viagra.  What I'd worry about is negative reinforcement- i.e. the wife feels neglected and is doing her damnedest to turn you on and it's not working, and so she thinks there's something wrong.  But since the erection stuff was originally developed as a heart drug, odds are you might benefit- could be a win/win situation.

Sam




NightTigress -> RE: Let me explain... (5/18/2009 11:49:23 PM)

I know for me, though never in a long term relationship I have been told by a couple that my sex drive is stronger than theirs, which means they get sex whenever they want; night, day, after a fight... kinda frustrating for me though. Maybe the solution is just to go polly again




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