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Good manners? - 5/9/2009 5:04:56 AM   
MasterQD


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What in Gods name is wrong with some of the people that use this site ?
If some one doesn’t want to talk to you, can’t you except that and move on, from what I have seen of late its more likely that they will send insulting memo’s and put up fake profiles belittling the people that choose for their own reasons that they don’t want to talk to particular people.
So lets have some manners shown for a change, this is after all an adult site, kiddies are not supposed to be allowed on here !
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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 5:15:40 AM   
sirsholly


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it sounds like you have been rejected a time or two.




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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 5:26:54 AM   
KatyLied


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Holly, you starting out the mornin' being bad?



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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 5:55:47 AM   
Irishknight


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In truth, some think that calling oneself a Dom/Domme gives them the justification to be an asshat to everyone around them.  Nowhere does it state that a Dom/Domme has to be overbearing and rude.  One can easily be in charge and still have manners.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 6:09:24 AM   
Rainfire


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*winks*

Or be a submissive/slave and still have good manners. OP, CM has a wonderful feature called "Block and Delete" so you need never deal with rude cretins again. Let your actions, words and profile speak for themselves.  

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 7:34:21 AM   
MasterQD


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In reply to sirsholly, "it sounds like you have been rejected a time or two. "
No, this is not about me its about some one who is being forced to leave this site simply because of the verbal abuse she has been recieving, she came to have a little fun and find friends, in stead, she has found insults and stress.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 7:37:57 AM   
Phoenixpower


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hmmm...maybe she was on the wrong boards??? So far...I survived ok-ish on the boards...though might be because I am to 90% at the Polls and other stuff boards...where a nice crowed is hanging around...even with the hollygirl...

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 7:38:01 AM   
JstAnotherSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD

In reply to sirsholly, "it sounds like you have been rejected a time or two. "
No, this is not about me its about some one who is being forced to leave this site simply because of the verbal abuse she has been recieving, she came to have a little fun and find friends, in stead, she has found insults and stress.


if she would allow faceless strangers to run her off.....she probably doesnt need to be on an online board anyhow.....

things happen for a reason

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 7:48:56 AM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD

In reply to sirsholly, "it sounds like you have been rejected a time or two. "
No, this is not about me its about some one who is being forced to leave this site simply because of the verbal abuse she has been recieving, she came to have a little fun and find friends, in stead, she has found insults and stress.


I suspect anyone with a female profile gets this crap, at least from some of the journals I've read.

OP, your friend has several options, including sending all mail from men to her bulk folder, or hiding her profile.


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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 8:07:56 AM   
CarrieO


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD


What in Gods name is wrong with some of the people that use this site ?
No clue what's wrong with people here. Ever think it comes down to perception?


If some one doesn’t want to talk to you, can’t you except that and move on,
Some people can accept and move on...some can't. Delete and Block are wonderful features, aren't they?


...from what I have seen of late its more likely that they will send insulting memo’s and put up fake profiles belittling the people that choose for their own reasons that they don’t want to talk to particular people.
Sour grapes, that's all. If it's so bad, Report is another wonderful feature.



So lets have some manners shown for a change, this is after all an adult site, kiddies are not supposed to be allowed on here !
This sentence reaks of condescenion and "don't worry folks, I'm here to be the manner police" attitude. I'm not sure why you feel the need to act in such a way and to be honest, it will have no baring on my life. I have manners and understand common courtsey (which may not be so common) and have no need for you to impose your rules/desires/expectations on me.

No, this is not about me its about some one who is being forced to leave this site simply because of the verbal abuse she has been recieving, she came to have a little fun and find friends, in stead, she has found insults and stress.
If your friend is having these problems, there are ways to handle it. Online verbal abuse is easy to handle, your friend can block the offending parties, hide her own profile and contact people herself instead of having them contact her or she can create a new profile and start fresh. If all this is too stressful, your friend can turn off the computer and go meet friends in real-life situations. Munches are good for that. So many options available.
I do have to wonder if your friend is aware that you've taken the liberity of airing her experience in such a manner and what her feelings about that would be.






< Message edited by CarrieO -- 5/9/2009 8:12:28 AM >


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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 8:34:35 AM   
KatyLied


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Forced to leave the site?  Seems over-dramatic, allowing strangers to dominate you.  But if that's her kink, it's cool with us.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 8:35:58 AM   
MasterQD


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Well, yes I can see that asking some folks to show good manners was a waste of time and energy, forget I said anything, ignore me, mind you likely are doing anyway so nothing lost and nothing to be gained, I only thought to try and help a friend, now I remember why I never normally come on the boards here.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 8:38:44 AM   
Phoenixpower


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May we find all our bliss

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 8:58:10 AM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD

Well, yes I can see that asking some folks to show good manners was a waste of time and energy, forget I said anything, ignore me, mind you likely are doing anyway so nothing lost and nothing to be gained, I only thought to try and help a friend, now I remember why I never normally come on the boards here.


Erm......just to point out that if anyone was ignoring you then no one would have posted a reply to your OP. Though it seems a mite childish attitude to start jumping down anonymous people's throats because a friend of yours wasn't treated with the utmost courtesy or uber politeness. We all know that we can not expect strangers to treat us like long lost friends, this ain't no different in real life. Like many have said...ignore and move on.


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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 9:01:52 AM   
KatyLied


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Another thing, if one is going to play in the cyber sandbox, be prepared for anything.  People are rude, insensitive, whatever, who cares?  If your friend is upset by the behavior of anonymous strangers I can't begin to fathom how she deals with real life issues.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 9:07:26 AM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD

Well, yes I can see that asking some folks to show good manners was a waste of time and energy, forget I said anything, ignore me, mind you likely are doing anyway so nothing lost and nothing to be gained, I only thought to try and help a friend, now I remember why I never normally come on the boards here.


I would like to respectfully point out that manners are not something that can be forced.
(Coming and ranting about poor manners could be interpreted as rude by some people btw)

Neither your friend nor you can change how other people behave, however she can change some of the things she is doing and that might minimize her distress.
The people who responded here offered some very good suggestions about specific actions she could take actually, but it appears that the chip on your shoulder impaired your ability to read them.
(As evidenced by your hostile and defensive tone.)

I would also like to point out that it is easy to miss contexts and subtleties on forums such as this, so it is possible I misread you.

This is not meant to sound rude but I often wonder about people who are problem focused instead of solution oriented.
When people post about problems are they even interested in solutions?

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 9:11:06 AM   
KatyLied


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Angelica, good points.  People can control how they react to situations.  You can't always control a situation, but you can own your reaction.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 9:30:03 AM   
ienigma777


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Hello, Yes, absolutely..... the cyber 'sandbox'...no need for anyone in 'cyberland' to be the least bit friendly...everyone can vent their hate, arrogance, whatever, make believe they are someone and something they are not, and just be plainly RUDE...never having the guts to be so in every day real life interactive contact.

I'm surprised that this 'TRUTH' has not dawned on the OP at the very beginning of computer interaction.

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 10:30:44 AM   
UncleNasty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD

Well, yes I can see that asking some folks to show good manners was a waste of time and energy, forget I said anything, ignore me, mind you likely are doing anyway so nothing lost and nothing to be gained, I only thought to try and help a friend, now I remember why I never normally come on the boards here.


Erm......just to point out that if anyone was ignoring you then no one would have posted a reply to your OP. Though it seems a mite childish attitude to start jumping down anonymous people's throats because a friend of yours wasn't treated with the utmost courtesy or uber politeness. We all know that we can not expect strangers to treat us like long lost friends, this ain't no different in real life. Like many have said...ignore and move on.



Somewhere between the extrems of complete and utter disregard, and strangers treating us as long lost friends, I think there is some grey matter along the lines of treating all with simple and basic levels of human respect.

Uncle Nasty

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RE: Good manners? - 5/9/2009 10:43:30 AM   
Raechard


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From: S.E. London U.K.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterQD
Well, yes I can see that asking some folks to show good manners was a waste of time and energy, forget I said anything, ignore me, mind you likely are doing anyway so nothing lost and nothing to be gained, I only thought to try and help a friend, now I remember why I never normally come on the boards here.



These ops are always amusing when you consider the people that frequent the boards are a tiny fraction of those that use the other dating side. Therefore you have to question the positive impact such a moral announcement will have on those that will probably never come here to view such announcements.

Unless you are referring to certain people that come here you are wasting your time indeed. 

I'm tired of everyone that comes here to the message boards for one reason being lumped in with everyone that uses the dating side for another reason. I've been here since late 2005 and besides people that I regularly exchange cmails with I've probably only sent out fifteen cmails in total and most of those as a response to someone else. Perhaps now you can see the error or global proclamations, you need a more targeted approach.


< Message edited by Raechard -- 5/9/2009 11:00:40 AM >


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