RE: Definitions of terms

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Definitions of terms

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Definitions of terms

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 12:09:07 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

My question would be

Why do you care what I choose to use to define any terms?

Unless I am in a relationship with a person, definitions and labels are useless. The only time they are of any use is between myself and the person I am in the relationship with.

I truly don't care what another chooses to define themselves as. What's more, I don't care what definition they choose to use in regards to 'labels and terms'. It's not my business; nor is it theirs.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 21

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 12:38:05 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

I started this thread in response to Lady Pact's post about the different definitions we all have for the terms we so randomly use in our posts. I clearly wasn't successful in explaining my intent. I wasn't asking for labels, just definitions of those terms. I thought using terms that we would apply to ourselves would be more interesting than just asking you to define 2 common terms. I felt it would be a fun exercise, and maybe give us some insight on how others see things. I only asked for 2 definitions because I didn't want anyone to have to write an entire reference book, I know people can't be summed up in just 2 words. I will claim some success, however, because many of you have expressed your dislike of being labeled by those very terms. I saw "I am what I am" a lot in those few posts.

Hi
I understood why you posted the question, and as far as I am concern it's cool. Personally I choose to not define what submissive means to me. The reason behind this is simply I got lost in defining it when I joined over a year ago under oceanwynds. It works better for me to not find the meaning but to just continue to be who I am. It is working for me and gives my head space to work on other ideas and concepts.

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 22

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 5:25:10 PM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

When i post in places where a definition is needed i am not describing myself as i see me, but rather just trying to give a basic descriptive for the reader's benefit, from the outside looking in.

What i strenuously try not doing is defining myself because i would be at it for a damned lifetime, and it would take away the spontaneity of living life as me! Definitions are not the stuff of happiness, not for me anyway.

_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 23

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 5:32:56 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I am a Master, I took responsibility to take care of an amazing slave. That is my definition of my relationship. She serves me well.

_____________________________

www.starhillcreations.com

(in reply to pinkwind)

Post #: 24

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 5:38:24 PM

GeekFreak

Posts: 102
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline

I totally wanted to reply to this until I saw all the other replies.

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 25

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 7:37:58 PM

Joseff

Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

My question would be

Why do you care what I choose to use to define any terms?

Because I might be reading one of your posts, and wonder, "What's she mean by that?"

_____________________________

This is gonna hurt...

Joseff

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 26

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 8:02:08 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

Oh boy...

OK, this is not some facetious, thoughtless, answer...this is genuinely what I reply, in Real Life, when someone asks me that question...

I am me.

That's exactly how I feel.

I'm Me.

GoddezzT`

Ok. Which one of you is really me?

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 27

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 8:07:20 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Because I might be reading one of your posts, and wonder, "What's she mean by that?"

In that case, employ a concept that many on here, including yourself, stress all the fucking time.

ASK.

Not too hard, is it?

edited to add

Here is a link from a thread that was started not too long ago. Take a look. It answers ALL your questions

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2246849/mpage_1/tm.htm

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 5/2/2009 8:20:24 PM >

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 28

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/2/2009 10:46:49 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR

Okay. I'm gonna take a slightly different tack on this.

I'm only into boxing myself in occasionally, & labels feel an awful lot like less-than-consensual cages, so I understand all those 'no label for me' responses . .. . .

I've felt (for some time now) like the labels that best fit me are seemingly oxymoronic ones, so I've been working on the following (it started with the 'spiritual' one, some years ago, & has been spreading outward):

All My Labels . . . .

lol . . . Labels are far more constricting than the tightest of bondage . . . lol . . . . .

I knew I was a taoist when I read various translations of the tao & felt immediately at home in this discussion of finding equilibrium between extremes . . . . . . I exist as complex contradiction, able to balance opposing ideas on the tip of my brain . . . . (For hours at a time, mind . . . . . . ) . . . . lol . .. .

I started thinking of the oxymoronics that would begin to encompass the places I surf . . .. . . lol . . . . . So here's a starter list, in roughly order of importance . . . . . lol:

Complexly Simple (or maybe I'm Simply Complex)

Scientific-Spiritual Artist

Hard-Materialist Secular-Humanist Atheist-Buddhist-Taoist With Streaks Of Animism

Conservatively-Radical Progressive

Feminist Intellectual Cock-Worshipping Pornographer Slut

Genderqueer / Intergendered Genderfucking Bisexual

Sadomasochistic Twue Dominant Who Enjoys Topping & Bottoming & Even Submitting Once In A While, With The Right Person

Shy Exhibitionist & Wholistic Voyeur

Marxist Entrepreneur

Neo-Luddite Technophile

Cross-Disciplinary Specialist

Ya know, labels can be fun too . . .. . .

Just, ya know, make 'em bend to your will, lol . .. .. .

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.

The Verbossinator

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 29

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 3:02:42 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

Oh boy...

OK, this is not some facetious, thoughtless, answer...this is genuinely what I reply, in Real Life, when someone asks me that question...

I am me.

That's exactly how I feel.

I'm Me.

GoddezzT`

Ok. Which one of you is really me?

That'd be me

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 30

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 3:56:45 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

The only use for labels is as a begining of a discussion to get both people in the same rough ballpark. They do not define, the discussion that follows is what tells a person who you are... to some extent, seeing your actions over a longer time will tell them more.

It is the labels that have definitions, they do not define Me!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 31

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 4:05:19 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
In that case, employ a concept that many on here, including yourself, stress all the fucking time.

ASK.

Not too hard, is it?

It is no wonder I've always liked you irish!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 32

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 4:21:03 AM

Apocalypso

Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff
Because I might be reading one of your posts, and wonder, "What's she mean by that?"

A list of definitions would make that far more problematic, not less. As is very clear from this thread, there are many different definitions flying around and that isn't going to change.

So, if you try and work from a single list, you're going to end up wrongly assuming you know what someone means as opposed to being aware that you don't.

Definitions are a useful starting point at best. They can help us work out what questions we want to ask. What they can't do is provide us with the answers.

We're talking about personal relationships here. And personal relationships are, by their nature, individualistic to the people involved.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 33

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 7:26:14 AM

MissJanice2

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

Joseff:

Interesting post. I am just me. I am a dominant female who likes to try different things from time to time. When we try and label ourselves, it gets in the way of creativity of who we really are in my opinion.
I think you should just enjoy being who you are and not worry about definitions. Nothing is absolute in bdsm.

Best Wishes,

Mistress_Jan

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 34

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 7:38:26 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Because I might be reading one of your posts, and wonder, "What's she mean by that?"

In that case, employ a concept that many on here, including yourself, stress all the fucking time.

ASK.

Not too hard, is it?

Well, actually it is kind of hard, because that's what he did in the first place and you basically shat on him for asking.

_____________________________

...YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY PORK CHOPS!
- - - - - - -
"....(somewhere) therein lies the truthiness..."
~*~*~*~*
http://www.myspace.com/crocusofiron

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 35

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 7:55:23 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

I use the phrase "dominant" to describe myself. but that's in only the most general terms.

It might be useful to see all the different ways that people find to express that idea.

There probably are a lot of varieties of interpretation; maybe some that hadn't occurred to me that I might be interested in...but had never thought of it that way.

In my own dating life, I've realized how differently people interpret that word, in terms of what it would mean in real life.

Parsing it out would be a good idea, and it is what I try to do if I'm starting to date someone. And it's sort of what I do when I reply to a lot of these threads - I have a chance to take a moment to consider how I feel about this or that little aspect of things.

It does seem to require some conversation, or several. Hard to paraphrase down into one reply on a single thread.

_____________________________

...YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY PORK CHOPS!
- - - - - - -
"....(somewhere) therein lies the truthiness..."
~*~*~*~*
http://www.myspace.com/crocusofiron

(in reply to Joseff)

Post #: 36

RE: Definitions of terms - 5/3/2009 4:06:29 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

It is no wonder I've always liked you irish!

Aww shucks Master Raven; you are too kind

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 37

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Definitions of terms

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.140