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Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 4:13:57 PM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		Okay, this is a little "gripe" I guess or else I am clueless. Did I miss something, some change to the "by-laws" (lol) changing the definitions. For several weeks I have been getting emails from someone who says he is a dom and wants to "discuss" things with me as to a possible relationship. But his PROFILE clearly states he is a SUBMISSIVE.

Thinking maybe he wasn't aware of this glaring flaw in his profile I pointed it out to him but I keep getting further emails here stating he just knows we would be perfect together. He say he is a "loving dom" or something and thats why the SUBMISSIVE title on his profile.

Is this a new game where we play guess who I really am.

Actually, I don't really care because no way would I get involved with such a game player or idiot but it just ticks me off when someone asks me to suspend reality and respond to this b.s. I told him he needs to change his profile if he is a dom or whatever.

So on the OFF CHANCE I missed a bulletin, what is with this anyway?
Sorry for being bitchy, sort of, I guess, lol.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 4:15:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It means he'll be whatever you want him to be.

(in reply to RealGirl4One)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 4:20:03 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Don't let it tick you off. Clearly, you two wouldn't work. Say good-bye, delete/block as required and don't give it any more attention then you would anyone who isn't a match because of a mismatch in definations. This person won't be the only one and it doesn't mean anyone is wrong or right.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 4:55:38 PM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		I know we wouldn't be a match I just can't figure out why anyone would continue to write for a month or so and so obviously conflicted, which I point out, and then insist on writing again. Normally, "things" don't bug me but for some reason....

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 5:20:38 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
Well, i got some letters from Someone Whose profile said Dominant Male, and He started telling me all this stuff He liked from a subs point of view.  i wrote  back and said, "Sir, Your letters sound more submissive...?" and then i got a letter from Him in light blue and i checked his profile and it said submissive.  i asked him about it, and said "Are You really a switch?  Because there's nothing wrong with that, You know," and he finally admitted yes.  Maybe this guy is really a switch.  A lot of switches get undeserved flack from some of the rest of U/us, so maybe that's it?  i just outright asked this guy, and he was honest.


_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to RealGirl4One)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 5:34:50 PM   
manxcat


Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline 		I get mail from doms that are very submissive, and when i point it out, they sometimes change the heading.  Or tell me they are looking at their sub side. LOL.  Other times they get surly.  One changed back and forth without really saying anything, mainly an invitation to to get to know him.  I don't have time for the confused.  And like littlewonder said, he will be whatever you want him to be
......for a chance at getting laid or whipped



_____________________________

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury


(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 6:03:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RealGirl4One

I know we wouldn't be a match I just can't figure out why anyone would continue to write for a month or so and so obviously conflicted, which I point out, and then insist on writing again. Normally, "things" don't bug me but for some reason....


I'm more curious about why you are writing to him for a month about it when it annoys you so much. When someone writes to me with clearly mismatched definations, I thank them for thinking of me, point our difference in thought and move on.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RealGirl4One)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 6:10:16 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Yep, he'll be whatever, so whatever he needs to do to get in your pants--and like Mary Poppins, he will be there till the wind changes and then poof!

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to RealGirl4One)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 6:41:08 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealGirl4One

I know we wouldn't be a match I just can't figure out why anyone would continue to write for a month or so and so obviously conflicted, which I point out, and then insist on writing again. Normally, "things" don't bug me but for some reason....


I'm more curious about why you are writing to him for a month about it when it annoys you so much. When someone writes to me with clearly mismatched definations, I thank them for thinking of me, point our difference in thought and move on.


I wonder it also. I think the guy probably figures that if you are engaging with him on this level, he can eventually engage you on another level, and finally, on any level he chooses.
And thus far, you are kind of reinforcing his belief.

_____________________________

...YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY PORK CHOPS!
- - - - - - -
"....(somewhere) therein lies the truthiness..."
~*~*~*~*
http://www.myspace.com/crocusofiron

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/1/2009 6:50:54 PM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		I have a straight, male sub friend on the other side. He is contacted on a daily basis by a male dom. No matter how many times my friend tells this guy that he isnt interested in a male dom, the dom still writes. Some people are just like that. For whatever reason, they continue to try to change someones mind.

You can delete, block, ignore or keep talking, but the person is who the person is, and all we can do is shake our head in disbelief or laugh. I like a laugh myself.

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 1:00:07 AM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		Thats cool.  But I outright asked this guy why his profile says submissive when he's telling me he's a dom.  So he answered like he is redefining what a dom is and what a submissive is.

I clearly wrote back that if he is a submissive, I'm not looking for one, so go away, more or less, and I said it politely.  Its like he can't get it through his head that if his profile says Submissive and he writes and says he is a dom it just makes him look stupid, like he can't understand English or read the dictionary.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 1:03:03 AM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		Because I was trying to be polite, imagine that. And thats why I'm ticked now because I've been trying really really really hard but finally, I just had enough. If I write him and I say I have no need, desire or use for a submissive which his profile clearly says, his writing back and saying "oh but i'm a dom" doesn't mean jack as long as his profile still says "submissive' It insults my intelligence. I finally got tired of being patient and polite.

See?

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 1:07:55 AM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		Yes, some people just seem to want to insist that black is red or oranges are tomatoes but it doesnt make it so and it doesn't put them in very good light if they can't get with the program.

Forgive if my answers are terse but I've been working on being a good, kind and patient person but just about everyone who has emailed me for the past two days has been clueless.

Just like this "dom" who wants to diagnose me as an insecure nutball because I don't want to do the poly thing.

Do any of these cretins remember the word: free to be what we are.

So the fact I don't want to be one of a harem just makes me a loser. LOL, and its not good enough to write it in the forum he's gotta email me so I be sure to see how way far in demand he is, macho man. Whatever little dude.

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 1:10:23 AM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		Well his theory fell apart because I tried hard long enough and now he's just blocked. so enforcing his opinion doesn't equate.

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 1:11:46 AM   
RealGirl4One


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		No doubt. Not very dom-like to go "poof" is it?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 4:03:54 AM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

Oh sugar, don't work so hard on being good, patient or kind. This place, like any other, is full of nutters and fuckwits. You wouldn't give some wanker on a train telling you he's got the secrets of the universe in his boxers the time of day, they aint no different in here darlin.

Dom, sub, switch, whatever, we all get emails from people who really shouldn't be allowed out in public without a muzzle and some heavy sedation. After the first ten thousand such emails, you'll learn to do what we all do, yawn and delete.


So true.  Eventually you develop a sort of "weirdo radar" and know to move on-quickly. 


_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 5:39:54 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		All of this hand wringing over one profile. Yikes.

(in reply to RealGirl4One)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Definitions re: dom / sub - 5/2/2009 8:36:27 AM   
ModeratorSixteen


Posts: 1275
Status: offline 		I suggest you read your cmail.

_____________________________

Freedom of expression and personal opinion is a positive input.

(in reply to RealGirl4One)
Profile   Post #: 18
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