what do you think? (Full Version)

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Sunnyfey -> what do you think? (4/25/2009 2:01:59 AM)

Say your at a private party, your sceneing, someone you've had ALOT of problems with the last few months shows up, and watches your scene. It upsets you, it makes you uncomfortable.

Do you have the right to ask them or inform the host, you dont want them watching your scene?



Whenready -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 2:34:15 AM)

You have the right to ask. You have the right to leave. You don't necessarily have the right to exclude someone else who presumably has also been personally & privately invited to the same event: that would presumably depend on the circumstances of both your dynamic with that individual and the dynamics of the private party.



SailingBum -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 2:39:50 AM)

But of course you have the right to say something.  Just like I have the right as the host to say.  This person  "Just watching" is giving you "problems"????  Are they cross eyed or something????  My reply would be Uh dude I dont want any part of your drama.  So my suggestion is to stop the scene.

Later....  I would pull you aside and inform you not to come back until you either A.  Matured  B. Matured C. Matured.  Ppl get put into uncomfy situations all the fucking time.  ie running into ex spouses with new bitch,  

Hey girl I know it's your kids grad party but could you NOT invite her Dad or his new bitch wife cuz they both upset me.

Man Up and Deal.  BadOne



Blackwolf9 -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 2:54:41 AM)

I think "problems" is a little vauge to go by. If I was unformortable playing in front of somebody with good cause I *might* ask to stop the scene, but then if "problems" just means they've been hitting on you or making snide comments....I can be stubborn, I might keep on going just to show them they couldn't interupt my fun....Master is pretty understanding, so I'd trust him to let me stop if it were truely an issue....as far as asking for them to be ousted...again depends on the offense, but mostly I'd say no. Either you leave or you deal unless its your house/your party and they came without your invite.



MmeGigs -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 4:28:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
Do you have the right to ask them or inform the host, you dont want them watching your scene? 


When I go to a party I don't have any right to pick and choose who will watch.  My options would be to ignore the person and keep playing or to end my scene.  I can ask the person to move along if it's really bugging me.  Unless the person is actively interfering with my scene I can't imagine that a host would take action, and probably wouldn't appreciate being asked to deal with what's really my personal issue. 

Personally, I wouldn't mention it to the host.  I wouldn't want to be labled a Problem Guest and get left off the guest list next party.








CatdeMedici -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 4:51:35 AM)

I'd be wondering why you were more focused on the "watchers" than the activities and dynamics of the scene?  As Sailing said, weird people watch us all the time, you can't ask the world to turn a blind eye--be the mature one and suck it up.



stella41b -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 5:09:23 AM)

I'd be cool with this problem person watching the scene. After all they caused the problems, not me.



sirsholly -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 5:16:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'd be cool with this problem person watching the scene. After all they caused the problems, not me.
i would want them to watch. i am the one scening and having fun, They are just standing there.
Of course, when there is a break in the action, a quick [sm=tongue.gif] would be in order.



subangi -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 5:33:30 AM)

Buckle down on your emotions and concentrate on yourself and the fun you are having.  Its just like I tell my kids....worry about what YOU are doing, not anyone else. 



peppermint -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 7:58:34 AM)

I suggest if you know the person is invited to the same party as yourself, that you decline the invitation and stay home.  Only go to parties where you know for sure the other person will not be there.  Of course, that cuts down on your play parties, but if the person bothers you so much, it should be well worth it. 

It is rude to talk to your host and ask that another invited guest be banned from looking at you.  It's really rather childish. 



persephonee -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 8:06:39 AM)

In my experience, the community as a whole is too small to really allow for all the drama...unless there were safety issues involved i would just add the uncomfortable feeling to the jumble of other thoughts/desires in my head while getting ready to scene...you could always just tell yourself that youre being forced to allow him to watch you against your will and create a nice little panic in there somewhere...*shrugs* but ymmv.



subsong -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 8:15:29 AM)

     If  you have a problem with others watching you while you're playing , when you're in a non-private setting like a party ,  perhaps you shouldn't be playing there .  Whoever is present has clearly been invited - just like you .  You don't have the right to say who can stand/sit where , and watch whoever .

   OR  -   Host your own party - and invite only those you are comfortable with !



littlewonder -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 8:16:21 AM)

I would be concentrating on my current partner..not the ex one.

If I were your partner I'd be more than upset that you were paying more attention to the ex.

If the ex bothers you that much then you haven't resolved your issues yet and maybe you shouldn't be in areas where he will be until you've fixed those issues.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 8:22:09 AM)

As long as they are just *watching* from a proper distance... not much you can do.  I would certainly tell your date/top/whoever that this was an issue for you, and ask him or her to be a buffer. 



LadyBreanna -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 8:26:55 AM)

I agree totally with Blackwolf, if you are a Domminant than act like one, you are the one in control not anyone else, so either stop your scene or keep going and dont worry about someone else, definatly dont go whining to the host.
The only time I would ever say anything negative to the host about another person is if that person showed his ass during my scening that is not cool at all. I would rather have him outed then myself!

B



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 12:54:09 PM)

If I have a problem with someone on the guest list of a private party that I've been invited to, I stay home. Hell, sometimes, when I'm planning a private event in relation to the local community, I sometimes even feel that it is in the best interests of the -event- and the other participants to invite someone I have personal problems with, but whose attendance is relevant to the event.... though if it's strictly social, I'll only invite the folks I want to spend several hours with, and that's my right.

When you attend an event that someone else is hosting, I feel that the guest's rights to oversee the guest list or guest behavior begins and ends with whether or not to attend. If someone I couldn't stand was watching a scene I was doing at either a public or private event, sure, I'd be twitchy, but it wouldn't keep me from paying attention where my attention was supposed to be (ie., on the sub I'm scening with). I also wouldn't bring my personal issues into the host's event by burdening -him- with keeping So-and-So from my scenes. If the individual I was having trouble with decided to interrupt me, I would studiously ignore the person until I was done with what I was doing, then take hir aside and make sure xhe -never- interrupted me in the middle of a scene again.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 12:57:55 PM)

I personally don't believe you do, I mean about informing the host, and if I was hosting a party and you came to me with the complaint I don't like so and so because.......... and so and so came by to watch my scene, I would tell you flat out that any guest at this party has the right to watch any other play scene they want, as long as they're not interfering with the said play scene by talking to you or trying to step in or being to close and being  in danger of being hit with a toy.

I would also suggest that maybe my parties are not right for you, and you should find ways to host your own, so people you're not comfortable dealing w/ith or being around can't come
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Say your at a private party, your sceneing, someone you've had ALOT of problems with the last few months shows up, and watches your scene. It upsets you, it makes you uncomfortable.

Do you have the right to ask them or inform the host, you dont want them watching your scene?




slaveluci -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 1:01:02 PM)

My policy: If you don't want to be "watched" don't perform for an audience. You can't necessarily control who's in it...............luci



HisBrokenOne -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 1:35:14 PM)

I think what you don't have is the right to expect that the host will ask someone who is watching you to stop. Even when I had two little people in the back seat and one was yelling, "Mom! Make him stop LOOKING at me", I would counsel the one who was being looked at to simply ignore the looker.

When I go to a party, I do what I can to not inconvenience my gracious host/s. She/he/hey have invited me to their home and gone to some trouble (maybe a lot, maybe a little) to include me. In return, I try to grease the social wheels by interacting nicely with other guests, bringing something if that's what is expected, picking up after myself, arriving and leaving in a timely way, and so on. If something is served that I don't like, I simply say, "No, thank you." If something happens that I don't like, I try to ignore it, move away from it, or if it's so bad I really can't stand it, I leave after making excuses. I would never say, "I'm leaving because XX won't stop talking to me," as it would put my host in a terrible position, and also because as a grown up I require that I deal with such things myself, without a referee.    I think my party behavior is among the things that gets me invited back.

I can certainly understand that this dynamic between you and the watcher may be very uncomfortable to you for any number of reasons. IMHO, that's up to you to work out.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: what do you think? (4/25/2009 3:07:22 PM)

I'd just ignore them and carry on having fun with who-ever I was with, If they started to get on My nerves then I'd find a way fr them to get on other people's  nerves and thrown out/banned from the venue.



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