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RE: death of a friend - 4/25/2009 11:20:12 AM

DrkJourney

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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Condolences to you *hugs*

I went to the burial site, alone. Talked to her and said all the things I had never said and repeated the things I hadnt said enough. I cried. Talked about shared memories. Sat silently for a while.

It helped me...

the place where she is, is 125 acres. how would i go about finding her when i choose to do that?

contact the cemetary...they can tell you exactly where she is

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RE: death of a friend - 4/25/2009 12:13:42 PM

satyrsnymph28

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thank you, everyone, for your replies. She was 23 when she died.

It helps a lot to talk about her in general, and on here. I really loved the idea of carrying on the best about a person.

I asked a close friend why God takes away someone at such a young age, especially someone who was so well loved, and had such a positive impact on the world. He told me that we don't ever know what God's plan is, but maybe it was to help someone else on their journey through life. To push them in the right direction. He stated it as if it were one person, but I was thinking that it doesn't have to be just one person... if even just everyone who was at the funeral pulls the best from Alicia, and carries it with them in their lives, a lot of others would be impacted by that.

I feel so blessed to have been a part of her short life.

People in my life seem to think that I shouldn't be grieving, because I hadn't seen her in a while, but the impact she had on my life is there regardless of whether I saw her last week, or last year.

I have enjoyed watching the online memorial videos that her family has made for her. They're beautiful.

That's an amazing idea, to write a letter, and laminate it to place it at the grave site. Writing is something that works well for me to let stuff out. I intend to do that.

Anyway, thank you again for all your advice and kind words. I really appreciate it.

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RE: death of a friend - 4/25/2009 12:29:04 PM

Phoenixpower

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sorry to hear that...when I was 13 my aunty died (she wasn't a related aunty, but for me she was my aunty) and even when it was expected in her situation due to cancer I remember that I used to have a diary where I wrote "to her"...until I managed to "move on."

In that time it just helped me to "still talk to her", even when that of course doesn't make sense to you as adult, and even when I knew that during that time, nevertheless I chose that way and it helped me. She was a great loss to me as I think that she would have very likely been a person who might have detected what was going on with me...but as already mentioned...the best die too young.

A childhood friend of my brother also drowned in his 20s...he and his girlfriend went swimming at night time at a public lake, she swam ahead and when she turned around to him he was gone...found soon later, drowned...that also left my brother puzzled...

In relation to the loss of my grandma (though I know, she was a fair bit older then your friend) I don't think I will ever find closure as such...but it helps me to treasure her that I have had her for so long (even when not long enough, again due to damn cancer) and appreciate that I have had her in my life. That is also a way to deal with it, to treasure the nice moments and laughter you had.

Best wishes xxx

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 4/25/2009 12:30:44 PM >

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RE: death of a friend - 4/25/2009 12:33:00 PM

Phoenixpower

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Some people also find help in grief support groups...

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RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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RE: death of a friend - 4/25/2009 4:22:38 PM

DemonKia

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I've taken some solace from this:

"Some people, sweet and attractive, and strong and healthy, happen to die young. They are masters in disguise teaching us about impermanence." - the Dalai Lama

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RE: death of a friend - 4/25/2009 4:40:05 PM

GreedyTop

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I love that, Kia.....

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Post #: 26