Male subs

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Male subs

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Male subs

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Male subs - 4/23/2009 10:41:21 AM

maleswitch4390

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/7/2009
Status: offline

Is it even possible for a young male sub to find a REAL female dominant that won't charge money to be your mistress? I feel like the demographics are against me here.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Male subs - 4/23/2009 10:49:05 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Yes it is possible, but you might be getting overwhelmed by the online world here at CollarMe. There are just so many Pro-Dommes or women who think that can be Pro Dommes that you are searching a Pile of Needles for a particular length of needle. On top of that you have so many different male subs seeking wanking material that you nearly fall through the cracks.

If you are looking for a Cyber Relationship I would suggest going to a different site as I hear this complaint from so many male subs I assume that CM is just not good for your needs.

If you are looking for an Real Time Actual Human Being to serve I would suggest looking for a Local Area Munch and start getting to know people as people, it can take awhile to meet the right person so dig in for the long haul and don't be impatient.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to maleswitch4390)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Male subs - 4/23/2009 10:53:50 AM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

Yes, the demographics will make things more difficult, especially on the internet. However, it is possible for someone your age to find what you say that you're looking for. It will take time and work, but it will happen.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to maleswitch4390)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Male subs - 4/23/2009 3:47:04 PM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

Another place to look is in your backyard, so to speak...

I googled the BDSM scene in your area (Austin, judging by your profile) and found these listings.

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html (scroll down to Texas)

http://community.livejournal.com/austinbdsm

http://www.forbiddenfruit.com/start_frames.htm (the local 'toy' shops are usually dialed in to the local gatherings)

< Message edited by MsFlutter -- 4/23/2009 3:48:02 PM >

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to maleswitch4390)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Male subs - 4/23/2009 5:36:23 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

The problem isn't so much dommes asking for tributes or whatever as it is that there are enough male subs willing to pay. If nobody was willing to pay the practice would die. Blame your brethren, not the dommes.

(in reply to maleswitch4390)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Male subs - 4/23/2009 5:41:11 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I would consider looking locally, were I you. I post to the boards here, but my room-mate, also a domina, is adverse to chat and message boards in general, and prefers to only interact -off- the computer. If you were restricting yourself to this medium, you'd miss out on ever meeting her... or anyone like her.

Also, patience is a virtue in this life. There are a -lot- of awesome dominant women out there, but bad attitude turns almost all of us off.

(PS: ClubFem Austin is a good place to start)

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 4/23/2009 5:42:06 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to DomImus)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Male subs - 4/23/2009 6:49:11 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I started dating a submissive man when we were both 20. We got to know each other at school, before he asked me out, and he let me know that he was interested in bondage and stuff. We were together for almost 5 years.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Male subs - 4/24/2009 7:55:16 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: maleswitch4390

Is it even possible for a young male sub to find a REAL female dominant that won't charge money to be your mistress? I feel like the demographics are against me here.

That entirely depends on what methods and venues you are using to find potential partners.

If you are only looking on Collarme, I'd say your chances are slim. With each new group they might go up slight.

If go local events and munches then your chances go up.

If you go regularly they go up even more.

If you get involved (I don't me just go but start volunteering and interacting with folks on a regular basis) your chances go up more.

Just as with most things in life it's a combination of effort, ability/skill, and luck.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to maleswitch4390)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Male subs - 4/24/2009 2:20:37 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Yes there are lifestyle Domme's who do not charge a penny or ask for tribute, I am one of them. I didn't meet my male sub here I met him playing Star Wars Galaxies. I've found I meet people when I am not looking and not on sites set up for that. Just my luck I guess. We've been together happily for 6 years now.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to maleswitch4390)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Male subs - 4/24/2009 3:03:51 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

You'd be surprised at the demographics. Don't get me wrong, you're still swimming upstream, but if you're sincere, well thought out and make an effort to really get to know people, you'd be surprised how good of a response you get.

As male subs, we may outnumber Dommes 100 to one, but you'll find that quality male subs outnumber quality Dommes by a much smaller number.

I personally don't go to a lot of local events. I've been to a few and they are overwhelmingly geared towards Mdom/fsub dynamics and while I've met a lot of nice people, I've yet to meet anyone I would have much in common with, let alone see myself wanting to get involved with. Part of that is me, part of it is the demographics of the people that attend muches and the like.

Like anything, the more you put into something, the more you're going to get out of it. That means putting yourself out there, making an effort to give people a reason to want to get to know you and being a real person trying to connect with another real person.

If you're emailing people on the site, don't just send as many as you can, put some effort into each one. I guarantee if you put twice as much effort into half as many emails, you'd be happy with the results.

I've been active on and off here for like three years. I became active again last week when I was sick and bored out of my mind. In that week and a half, my inbox has blown up with unsolicited emails from almost 2 dozen Dommes who are real, nice and are worth getting to know. Oh, and Lockit too (I kid. I kid).

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to Lashra)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Male subs - 4/24/2009 7:47:42 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

I can't speak for all Mistresses but I don't mind if a guy wants to serve me and he can't offer tributes. There's plenty of ways a guy can serve me that doesn't involve cash. Sure tributes and gifts are great but it's sure not mandatory. Be honest, say you don't have the cash for tributes, and offer to serve in other ways.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Male subs - 4/24/2009 7:54:27 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Hummm Blutarsky... I wonder how I am to take that! lol Are you saying I am not nice and worth knowing? hehe I may have to spam the hell outta you!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Male subs - 4/24/2009 10:24:12 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Hummm Blutarsky... I wonder how I am to take that! lol Are you saying I am not nice and worth knowing? hehe I may have to spam the hell outta you!

All part of the master plan :)

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to Lockit)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Male subs - 4/25/2009 8:53:29 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Yes, you can. You should place profiles, answer them, meet women at work and school. I have met dominant women in many ways and in many places throughout my entire life. It can be done.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)

Profile

Post #: 14